The Beauty of Discovery

by Chris P.

In his essay Jesus in Galilee: Proclaiming the Reign of God, Robert Ludwig details the role of parables in Jesus’ proclamation of the kingdom of God.  He makes it clear that Jesus’ parables, whether in word or deed, “…are stories that shatter the deep structure of our accepted world, removing our defenses and making us vulnerable to God.  It is only in such experiences that God can touch us, and it is only in such moments that God’s reign truly takes hold (Ludwig, p. 16).”  Parables call us to conversion, to transformation, whereby we come to see the kingdom of God before us.  I must say that I feel I have been very blessed throughout my life, which can be a scary thought, so I have a hard time coming up with a “shattering” event.  I guess the excitement is yet to come.  There are two occasions though where the way I put the world came undone.  The first happened as a sophomore in high school and the second as a college student preparing to enter religious life, both played a vital role in my understanding of God and in his call to the vocation which I know live.  In this essay, I will focus on the experience during my sophomore.

Brother Ted was a “young” Brother and this automatically made him cool.  By the way, I had no idea what a Brother was until meeting the Brothers at my high school and even then it took a while to understand who they were and what exactly they did.  Anyway, I do not remember my first impression of Br. Ted and do not even remember seeing him around my freshman year.  It was during my sophomore year that Br. Ted really made an impression on me.

As a sophomore, I was looking for my “niche” in high school.  I had been very involved in activities and sports throughout middle school and so not to have done much my freshman year was a bit disappointing.  Then I heard about a campus organization called Lasallian Youth.  All I knew about it is that it involved doing service work.  So there I went some random September day and signed up for a Saturday service project.  I remember arriving to the campus at 7 am on Saturday not knowing exactly what to expect or who to expect.  I roamed the campus and at some point I heard “Chris?”  It was Brother Ted.  I think it was the first time we formally met.  A few more students arrived and off we went to the Catholic Worker.  We finished the service project and there I was stuck without a ride home, and Brother offered to take me home.  He dropped me off and I felt so thrilled to have gone on this service project.  Looking back, this service project was the invitation to become involved in Lasallian Youth, which eventually became the passageway to becoming extremely involved on campus.  For the next few months, I must have been like glue on Brother Ted, I just admired the guy, and I wanted to be like him.  I felt at home in Lasallian Youth, I got to travel to various service projects and gatherings with other schools.  Eventually, because of Lasallian Youth I was invited by the school to attend a leadership workshop, travel to Mexico to build a house for the poor, and travel to World Youth Day in Rome.  God was very present to me throughout these moments and in the person of Brother Ted.  I felt like God would always be there, since Br. Ted was always there.

That same year, right around Easter time Br. Ted called a few of us into his office.  He said he had to share some news with us.  He told us that back in December he had received a phone call from the Brother Visitor asking him to move to  Washington.  He said he would be leaving at the end of the year for his new assignment.  It was a sad moment, a moment of feeling lost, what would we do without Br. Ted?  It definitely was like losing your hero.  Yet, little by little we came to understand that part of the Brother’s vocation was to go where one is needed.  So while for a moment it felt like betrayal, understanding about life and vocation eventually replaced that feeling.  We learned for the final few months to celebrate Brother Ted and not “mourn” his departure.  So, off he went to Washington.  Then, the shattering news came.  I remember being at my high school the following summer, at the end of my Junior year, gearing up for Senior year.  The vocation of the Brothers had really taken a hold of me.  I felt like this was the life God was calling me to, and all in part to the inspiration and example of Brother Ted.  Well, during the summer a teacher approached me and tells me, “Wow, so Brother Ted is leaving.”  My initial reaction was, “What?  Leaving Yakima?  Where is he going?”  Then, the news, “No, he is leaving the Brothers. “  Leaving the Brothers?  No, not Brother Ted!  I remember feeling angry, feeling like had he not gone away from Cathedral that he would not have left.  I was angry at the Brothers for moving him.  I was angry at the school where he was at for not fostering his vocation.  I was angry at him most of all.  I remember sending him an email expressing my anger.  I did not understand why.

Looking back at that, I think it taught me a lot about vocation.  It taught me that God calls us a different ways and that vocation really is a journey of discovery; discovering where God wants us to be at the moment, building up his kingdom.  For Ted it appears God needed him to be a Brother for a while, to enter the lives of young people, as a Brother and inspire them.  I can truly say that had it not been for him, I would not have discovered my own call to the Brothers as quickly as I did.  The fact that I am a Brother today and that I truly feel that this is God’s vocation for me, is something I owe to the impact Brother Ted made on my life.  It shows that God is truly incredible and uses us in many ways to build up his kingdom.  It shows that our journey with God may take several attempts in discovering God’s plan for us.  While Ted is now happily married and has two children, I am happily a Brother.  This experience makes my vocation stronger and gives me a deeper belief in the incredible and free ways God works.  By the way, I did not remain angry with Ted, we eventually had a conversation and I was able to come to a better understanding of things.

In promoting the vocations to the Brothers, when I tell my vocation story, I always mention this, saying that the Brother who inspired me is no longer a Brother.  Therefore, I challenge young people that if they are thinking about the religious life or priesthood, they should give it a shot.  You have to know what you are saying “yes” or “no” to.  This is why any relationship involves a “dating” process, getting to know each other little by little and figuring out if it is going to work out long-term.  By saying yes to the initial invitation, no matter what you end up deciding, there is no doubt that God will use us and teach us much in the process.  That is the point of our life journey and of faith—responding to invitations and in the process building up God’s kingdom in the here and now—all by God’s doing!