Attending To Our Restlessness

by Ryan Hoffmann, IPS Enrollment Advisor

When you visit a bookstore what section do you gravitate towards?

Fiction? History? Religion? Travel?

Where do you find yourself? What is it you enjoy discovering – that which you just can’t get enough? That which you can’t can’t not do?

While we all attend to our deepest desires and callings differently, there exist manifestations of where we lean in the everyday all around us.  What topics catch our attention? What issues or topics beg for expression in and through our work? What is it we dream about? Underneath the “have to’s,” what is it I want to do with this one life?

These may be helpful prompts.

• What are 5 things you used to enjoy doing?
• What are 5 silly things you would like to try once?
• What are 5 things you personally would never do that sound fun?

As the Enrollment Advisor at the Institute of Pastoral Studies (IPS) I’ve assisted prospective students who want to delve deeper into theology and ministry and sort out these types of questions.  Many speak of a restlessness, a burning feeling nudging them to explore where their “life trajectory” may be pointed.  To be sure, feelings of anxiety and fear abound.  If living into the depth of our questions, and trusting that something is out there calling me beyond myself were easy, it wouldn’t need attention or inner accompaniment.  Instead, we set out on a journey, like many before us, in search of meaning and purpose.

For those currently discerning a restlessness – something tugging and pulling and nudging – often times exploring who we are in community is helpful.  Seeing, hearing, touching, and just sensing in a supportive environment can “break through” the noise and confusion of what is lurking beneath.  At IPS we encourage those reflecting on ministry and theology, and a calling to work in these fields, to participate in an open house to “fill in” whether or not this is where your restlessness points.  It may.  It may not.  What’s important is gauging whether our questions are affirmed, perhaps even being able to acknowledge or identify a sense of consolation.  If the opposite happens you’ve discovered a lot about yourself, too.

Your story is a part of a larger story – the human story.  We tend to take our lives too seriously, as if one single event or choice can define all that we are.  Yet, it’s important to step back and have fun, aware that the journey itself is what is important.  Have more fun, try on these questions.   Don’t overthink.  What, if anything, arises?

• My favorite childhood toy was …
• My favorite childhood game was …
• The best movie I ever saw as a kid was …
• I don’t do it much but I enjoy …
• If I could lighten up a little, I’d let myself …
• If I weren’t too late, I’d …
• The amount of money I spend on treating myself to entertainment each month is …
• If I weren’t so stingy with my creative self, I’d buy him/her …
• Taking time out for myself is …
• I’m afraid that if I start dreaming …
• I secretly enjoy reading …
• If I had a perfect childhood I’d grown up to be …
• If it didn’t sound too crazy, I’d write or make a …
• My most cheer-up music is …
• Learning to trust myself is probably …

We may find ourselves rummaging through books in a bookstore or surfing for books online.  As we know, we learn a lot from others.  In the end, though, it’s the story you right yourself that matters.  You self- author your own journey and cultivate your own path.  What story lies ahead for you?