by Kristen M.
I thought I had my life all figured out. My husband and I were married in 2000, and two years later we were blessed with the birth of our daughter. In 2004, God gave us our son. We were filled with love, joy, and gratitude. Since my husband and I are both the oldest of four children, we had always planned on having a six-person family. At the beginning of 2006, we were ready to have another baby – right on our schedule. Unfortunately, things didn’t turn out as we had planned.
That first year was an emotional rollercoaster. Each month I prayed fervently that I would become pregnant, and each month I was disappointed. I went to daily Mass, prayed the rosary, did novenas, and nothing happened. Our regular doctors failed to find anything “wrong.” I took my charts to a Natural Family Planning consultant, who determined that something was wrong, but could only refer me to the head of the Creighton Method who was out at the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha. There was no way that we would be able to afford that, so we just kept counting on God. The stress on our marriage had become difficult to handle. While I was extremely happy with my two wonderful children, I still yearned to have more. It didn’t make sense. This secondary infertility was becoming a monster, and I really wanted to give it up. But it wasn’t that easy.
In January 2007, we decided that we were going to see a fertility doctor, and if he wasn’t able to assist us, we would just give up the dream. We didn’t want to do any artificial means because we already had two healthy children and we felt that if God wanted us to have more, we would. He was neither able to help us nor provide a diagnosis. Even though I was “supposed to” stop being obsessed with having another baby, I couldn’t. When reading an article in St. Anthony’s Messenger one day, I discovered a shrine for infertile couples, Our Lady of La Leche/Mission Nombre de Dios in St. Augustine Florida. I had been so close to God during this experience and found God in so many ways with the help of my spiritual director, that I was sure that God would hear my plea at our family pilgrimage. In the midst of planning our trip, I came across a Natural Family Planning doctor in Hobart, Indiana. After running a series of tests, he recommended some medication that I was to begin taking after the trip.
The shrine was amazing! My husband and I both were overwhelmed with the presence of God as we prayed together, alone, and with the kids. What I came away with was something to the effect of John 15:5. “I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing.” When I was there, I first petitioned for a friend of mine who had been trying to conceive for almost seven years and a cousin of mine who has epilepsy and had lost two children. Neither of them had any children, and their situations were far more significant than mine. (more…)