It’ll Be Okay

I found myself repeating this phrase over and over in my head as I laid on my bed trying to fight back tears. Only forty-eight hours until I would step on a plane and begin my 16-week adventure in Rome, Italy, and these words were my attempt to control my emotions. I don’t know why I was crying—I had just finished a highly amusing episode of Parks and Recreations. But for whatever reason, just as Netflix was about to start the next episode, I began to cry.

Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond excited to study abroad. I have been since I submitted my deposit seven months ago. I spent hours sitting in my dorm planning trips and making lists, listening to Italian music, and counting down the days until I would finally be in the Eternal City.  But then came August 1, and I saw my departure day lingering in front of me—then lodge itself in the pit of my stomach.

It wasn’t until I hit the 10-day countdown that the tears began to slip out. The I-will-be-gone-for-almost-four-months reality finally triggered my inevitable emotions. I spent more time crying then relishing in the excitement of this amazing experience waiting for me across the globe. It frustrated me, yet I couldn’t figure out how to switch my perspective.

But these words seemed to work, for now. I was finally able to hold back my tears and relax. It felt nice.

The anticipation of studying abroad has its wide range of emotions. There’s a high level of excitement as you pack your bags and look forward to the adventures ahead. There’s also a lot of stress, nerves, and anxiety—trying to fit your life into one suitcase, preparing for the culture shock, and saying good-byes. Mix all these feelings together, and sometimes the only way to make them all fit is to shed a few tears.

But it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be nervous. To be sad. To worry. To miss your family, to miss your friends. It’s okay to forget a few things at home, and it’s okay to feel a little out of place in your new home. It’s okay to adjust. It’s okay to just be okay.

Rome, I cannot wait to meet you. I’m looking forward to all the pizza, gelato, and adventures you hold. I’m nervous to speak your language and adjust to your culture. I’m sure I will miss my family and feel a little homesick at times. But I know it will be okay. It will be more than okay.