Is This Real Life?

I have stared at beauty in the face. She has been my loyal companion and guardian. I see her in every corner, through every blink, I see her—beauty even lingers within my dreams. I must confess, it feels like I am dreaming, though no dream has been as pleasant and good to me as the one I have been dreaming on for the past 2 weeks.

 

I feel so afloat. My abode is now Madrid, and it’s funny to say but I feel so at ease. I feel so free and so much like myself. If ever there was a time to love and discover yourself, it is through travel and exploration. Throughout my stay in Madrid I have come to acknowledge yet of another beautiful thing I have before me—myself.

 

I have allowed myself to be completely and utterly present in the moment while in Madrid.

 

When I was a child, about 4, I used to ask my mom, “what will we have for dinner tomorrow”, and she would hastily reply, “we shall see, for tomorrow has not come yet”. I would never understand why she just wouldn’t tell me, she was to make dinner, not God, how would He know what tomorrow would bring. Though now, as I see interchangeably see beauty and God within all things more than ever, I now see that all good things are worth the wait. All good things come at do time. Tomorrow has not yet come today, and so I live my days here day by day. I enjoy every second of this air. I often look at the sky and for a few second I allow myself to get lost in the sea of blue. I warmly whisper to myself of how my parents are looking at the same sky, and this brings joy and warmth to my heart.

 

I know that my time here is not to be wasted, and so I find no time to sit around and not enjoy the grandiose opportunity that has been given to me.

 

I kid. I do sit around and enjoy the mere sight of people hurrying to their various (clueless) destinations. I often enjoy sitting by myself, merely enjoying my own company. I feel as though I have taken myself for granted for too long. I have let the skin I walk around this Earth with become so ordinary to my sight. I have not noticed, or have not noticed for a long time now, that my cheeks can extend quite beyond my face (may the occasion arise). I have found that I walk with my left foot following my right—always. I have found that I enjoy taking the long route home and admiring how much green I see before me. I frankly enjoy myself—I quite pleasantly confess.

 

Self-discovery is such an odd thing to talk about, at least for me. I have never been one to even take a second look at myself, but today I became vulnerable to myself. I now truly look and I see my mother, I see her eyes, for they have taught me what true love is. I see my father, I see the expression he makes the instant he spots me within a crowd, he has shown me what complete joy looks like and where to look out for it. I have discovered so much of myself these past few weeks. Never before had I felt so vulnerable, and yet so relieved in my life. I wake every day thankful and willing to take and seek chances.

 

After all, what is going 4,000 miles away from home without a little mischief.

 

Madrid, you are my wonderful home now. You have been quite the host. I have seen only but a fraction of what you have to offer and still I think that when I do see you all I shall crave more and quite possible never want to leave you.

 

I would love nothing more than to eat hot chocolate with churros for the rest of my life, though tomorrow has not come yet, and I have no clue as to where I shall be. And that brings great peace to me. I know that for whatever tomorrow brings shall be whatever shall be.