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Food Porn, Delusions, and Free-Range Children

Food Porn, Delusions, and Free-Range Children

Mukbangs

I have recently been made aware of a fascinating Korean subculture known as mukbang. Basically, it’s food porn but without the involvement of any actual porn. A person, known as a “BJ” a.k.a. “broadcast jockey” (you’d think if there wasn’t any porn involved they would have chosen a less suggestive name, but oh well) will either cook or order large quantities of food and then eat the whole amount live in front of a camera. Viewers can log in and watch the spectacle, even interacting with the “BJ” by way of a chatroom as they choke down enough food in one sitting to feed a village in Africa for a month. What’s more, dedicated viewers can send gifts (usually money and food) to their favorite mukbang stars (apparently one of the top mukbang stars was making around $9000 USD a month at the height of her fame, talk about dream job).

The purpose of mukbangs is entirely innocent and almost a bit sad. By nature, Koreans are very social eaters. However, as more and more young adults are moving out and living solo, the custom of eating alone is becoming more common, yet is often hard to adjust to. Thus, to fill the void, the concept of mukbang was created as a way for the lonely to simulate a social eating environment. Seriously. Honestly, I think I would understand the concept of mukbangs a lot better if the viewers were treating the broadcast like pornography, simply because I have have a hard time grasping the fact that people will watch another person consume large quantities of food for innocent entertainment and the replication of social contact. It is just so far off my radar. Here is a link for those of you who would like to learn more: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wjXJL6ZwLk


A Comprehensive Field Guide to Koreaboos

Koreaboo (noun)

Definition: A person whose infatuation with Hallyu i.e. the “Korean wave” has led them to possess inaccurate and distorted views of the realities of Korean culture and society as a whole. On their quest to consume all things deemed “Korean” (by their standards), they often strategically ignore social issues and other topics of significance that fall beyond the confines of their K-pop bubble.

Interests: An aggressive obsession with K-pop, K-dramas, Korean manga, cosplay, and any aspect of Korean culture that could be deemed “cute”.

Defining Characteristics: Use of the word “oppa”, meaning “big brother”, which is used almost exclusively in Korean society by females when referring to older males. Not that the Koreaboos’ repeated use of the phrase is gramatically incorrect, but the term implies a certain level of familiarity between Koreans (and even romantic intent, as “oppa” is used frequently when referring to one’s boyfriend) thus the phrase is distorted through its use by Koreaboos who more than likely picked it up when binging on K-dramas. Koreaboos also typically possess a pretentious and arrogant attitude stemming from his or her belief that they are Korean culture experts, despite having very limited practical knowledge about the realities of Korean culture. Engaging in rational discussion will usually end poorly and result in excessive eye-rolling on behalf of both parties.

Strengths: An impossibly detailed knowledge about the lives and musical repertoires of any given K-pop group.

Weaknesses: More often than not, the weaker Koreaboos in the herd will have their spirit broken simply by arriving in Korea. The realization that the country of Korea has more depth than what is portrayed on the average K-drama can often be too much for a Koreaboo to bear; many feel cheated or disoriented once they realize they are unlikely to bump into their favorite K-pop idol while strolling the streets of Gangnam and live happily every after. Many are unable to grasp the fact that Korea is a country that grapples with real issues such as political corruption, high suicide rates, and rabid materialism, among other things. While some Koreaboos are able to adjust to the reality of life in Korea, others are not so fortunate- life for a Koreaboo in the real world is not for everyone.


The Reverse Rapture

During my time in Korea, I have noticed a plethora of children. None seem to be older than four years old, probably because all the older children have already been shoved into the infamously rigorous Korean education system. Nonetheless, the weirdest part about the abundance of small children is the complete lack of pregnant women. You’d think that pregnant women would be much more obvious, given the fact that Korean women are notoriously slender creatures. Yet the entire time I have been in Seoul, I have seen literally one pregnant women. One. It’s as though all the Korean children were beamed down from the skies in reverse fashion of the predicted second coming of Christ (sorry, Harold Camping, better luck next time).

What’s more, Korean children are allowed to wander around like a gaggle of free range chickens. Unlike American children, Korean children are not strapped into strollers and carted through the city; rather, their parents let them walk, with their feet, like humans. As floods of people exit the subway at any given stop, one must always be careful to watch the ground lest there be a stray toddler underfoot. Additionally, Korean parents display more patience with their children than I have ever before seen. This may seem like a paltry and somewhat insignificant observation, but once you become aware it’s actually quite odd. In the United States, particularly in a busy city such as Chicago, I would be pressed to find a parent patiently walking their newly-mobile one-year-old step-by-step up the stairs of the subway exit. Rather, Americans have invented nifty tools such as ‘child leashes’ (charmingly referred to as “safety harnesses”) to prevent the young from getting a taste of freedom. Thus, American children are the medicated battery-cage counterparts to Korea’s free-roaming chicken children.


The DMZ: Come For The Scenic View of North Korea, Stay Because There’s Literally Active Landmines Everywhere

A few weeks ago, I took a trip up to visit the DMZ. The DMZ (“demilitarized zone”) marks the border between North and South Korea. By far, the highlight of the trip was the 8-minute film that was presented in the vistor’s center. Although our tour guide vehemently insisted beforehand that the film was “not propaganda because we’re not like the North Koreans”, I was amused to discover that she was entirely wrong. Among other things, the film claimed the DMZ to be a “sanctuary for deer and other wildlife”. A quick look around at the numerous yellow signs warning of undetonated landmines in the open fields proved the exact opposite. All in all, I would give the DMZ a solid 3/5. South Korea certainly has quite the racket going with these tours. There’s not much to do or see besides a brief opportunity to peek into North Korea from the safety of a ‘scenic’ observation point, but the novelty of the locale makes the trip worth it.

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