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The long version is that the bride, Georgina, was friends with Selly, the woman who picked us up at campus, and Selly used to work in UG\u2019s International Programming Offices, where USAC\u2019s current resident director Abigail is stationed. Selly petitioned Abigail on behalf of Georgina for Abigail to send some American students to act as a surrogate family for the groom. Otherwise, Ethan would have no family who could present the wedding gifts. Got it? Ethan -> Georgina -> Selly -> Abigail -> Anna -> Elly, Phil.<\/p>\n
Doesn\u2019t matter. On the Wednesday before Easter, Anna, Elly, and Phil were adopted family members for Ethan from Florida.<\/p>\n
Technicalities of the ceremony requirements aside, I ask you, dear reader, to imagine being in Ethan\u2019s position. How would you feel coming to Ghana for the first time to get married? Would you invite strangers to be in your wedding party? Would you ask a stranger to become your sister, knowing that you might never meet again?<\/p>\n The ceremony was lively and loud and beautiful. The bride, Georgina, was dressed in a two-piece dress woven of multicolored kente, with jewelry around her neck and adorning her hair, and she was holding a fan made of white feathers. She took my breath away, and I bet Ethan felt similarly. We were invited to sing, dance, shake the hands of Georgina\u2019s family, take photos with cousins and sisters, invited to a feast fit for royalty. And the event wasn\u2019t in a banquet center or a huge garden \u2013 it was in Georgina\u2019s family home.<\/p>\n Now, can you put yourself in this position? Your daughter is getting married to an American man whose ways of life are vastly different from your own. He isn\u2019t familiar in the Akan marriage tradition, and yet he still wants to participate in one. What does it take for you to open your home to him and his (albeit, fake) family? To offer them food, welcome them into your home, dance and sing with them, add photos with them to the wedding album that you will show your future grandchildren?<\/p>\n Phil, Elly, and I decided to leave the festivities just as the heat of the sun was becoming weak, around 4pm. I was full of fufu and jollof and sobolo with a huge smile on my face, and the three of us joked about the more bizarre aspects of the day as we waited by the house gate for Selly to come out.<\/p>\n She drove us to ISH and the drive back felt a lot longer than the drive there. As we left the car, I said y<\/em>\u025b<\/em>b<\/em>\u025b<\/em>hyia <\/em>\u2013 see you later. Literally, it means \u201cwe will meet again.\u201d<\/p>\n —————<\/p>\n Alone in my room, I sat in thought and wonder at the hospitality of everyone I\u2019d encountered that day. The whole day had felt surreal, but comfortable. As Selly got to know me in her car, I felt appreciated. When Ethan asked me to fill the role of his sister, I felt honored. When Georgina\u2019s family opened their doors to me, I felt accepted. I\u2019d suddenly felt at home with this family I didn\u2019t know and the family I\u2019d just become a part of. What new kind of hospitality was this? There were no presuppositions, no judgments, no uncomfortable gazes \u2013 they welcomed me as if they had always known me as an intimate friend. Even the language of the Akan is welcoming: everyone greets you with akwaaba<\/em> \u2013 you are welcome here; saying thank you, medaase<\/em>, literally means \u201cI lay at your feet;\u201d y<\/em>\u025b<\/em>b<\/em>\u025b<\/em>hyia<\/em> \u2013 we will meet again.<\/p>\n Can you put yourself in my position?<\/p>\n I navigate my small part of Accra with the language of laying yourself at a stranger\u2019s feet, ensuring them you will always meet again. I cram myself in the back of a trotro with a stranger pressing their arm up against me. Strangers ask me where I\u2019m from, asking me for my phone number so they can get to know me. Sometimes, men ask if I will marry them as I\u2019m waiting in line to get lunch.<\/p>\n What do you do when socialization requires a level of intimacy with strangers that you\u2019re not familiar with? When the friend of a friend of a friend asks you to pretend to be someone\u2019s sister? When suddenly your understanding of personal space is inconsequential?<\/p>\n I am endlessly grateful that I am able to be here in Accra, but I think I am more grateful to those I\u2019ve met along the way, whose attitudes of intimacy and hospitality have sometimes been challenging. I didn\u2019t come here to be comfortable, so I don\u2019t resist these challenges. Was Selly comfortable putting three American kids in her car to take them across town? Did Ethan get married in Ghana without his family present because it was more comfortable? Was it comfortable for Georgina and her family to open their home to American strangers? Maybe, maybe not. But what rises above insistence on personal boundaries and comfort is extending welcoming to strangers.<\/p>\n It might be hard for you to put yourself in my position. If it is, I challenge you to look more closely at Africans, at Ghanaians, at the city of Accra. They might be strangers to you, but they don’t bite. You are welcome here.<\/p>\n Y<\/em>\u025b<\/em>b<\/em>\u025b<\/em>hyia,<\/em><\/p>\n Anna<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" At the edge of campus on the Wednesday before Easter, Phil, Elly, and I climbed into an SUV in our Sunday best. We were on our way to the wedding of someone named Ethan from Florida \u2013 someone none of us knew. The driver of the SUV was a young woman named Selly. She wore … <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/blogs.luc.edu\/goglobal\/files\/2018\/04\/wedding-2-300x225.jpg\")
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