Reflection #2: The Refugee Befriending Program

As I stated in my first reflection, I am no novice to the refugee befriending program and process.  I have spent countless hours formulating and building a strong, pseudo family-like relationship with a Bhutanese refugee family for almost two years now. For a myriad of reasons, I have found my time working with refugees in the setting of a befriending program to be a blessing rather than “work” as some people may refer to it.   Taking this course in some ways is an added benefit.  I gained class credit for continuing to purse a deep passion of mine. In saying all of this, it must have come as a complete shock when I told my friends and family I still had a lot to learn when it comes to refugees.  I did not believe that this class would change anything about the way that I viewed refugees and our current political policies, and to that end I was correct.   All of those concepts and knowledge were gained and understood though basic logic, reasoning and personal viewpoints gained through independent study and old-fashioned experienced- based learning.  In regards to this class, I mainly hoped that I would gain the important knowledge regarding the resettlement process and the politics behind it.  I never anticipated or recognized that my views of this important form of service would be impacted and altered. But of course, they were, and I shall be reflecting upon this change through this analysis of my continued work with befriending refugees and my impact upon them.

The befriending program has an immense deal of positive qualities. Mary Pipher puts it best by stating, “Refugees come from a fire into a fire” (Pipher, 2002).  These individuals are coming from situations far worse than what the average American can even conceive.  Even more, they enter an environment so vastly contrasting to their own that it creates a new collection of problems of their own merit.   Solving these problems on one’s own would be a huge task for most people, but even more so for those who have been living in complete dependency for so long. America is individualistic, monochromic and Universalist, which is far different from what their lives before.  Being capable of making the very slightest positive change or impact on these individuals’ lives is a true blessing.  Speaking from experience, I’ve noticed a difference in my refugee family over the past two years.  Their English has improved incredibly, the father is employed and they seem to have a better understanding of American culture.  They want to learn about my culture just as much as I want to understand theirs.  It is such a beautiful partnership.  On Diwali, I made them cookies and came over for a celebration, and on Thanksgiving they made me fresh roti for my family.  They have come to understand that during Lent, I don’t eat meat, and I’ve become accustomed to them casually chopping up a goat on the kitchen floor.  When my partner and I enter their home, we create a wonderful mixture of cultures that blends to create one American-Bhutanese family.  I really appreciate that the befriending programs bridges a gap between tragedy, fear and discouragement to a place of support and relative comfort.  Through this program, I can be that bridge between cultures for them.

Being an individual who chose Psychology and Theology as her majors, it appears logical that I have a tendency to analyze everything when I begin to reflect upon my experiences.  Since beginning college, I have been taught to go further and overanalyze ideas and situations to an almost unhealthy degree, which is what I have been doing lately regarding the befriending programs and my personal involvement in them.  In classes where I’m taught that skepticism is necessary and nothing can be proven for certain, I wondered how truthfully impactful my service has been to refugees.  The article by Behnia states that not much is known about the exact implication of the befriending program, but while it does provide emotional support to refugees, finding committed volunteers and measuring the effects that they have on refugees is difficult (Behnia, 2008).    In reading this, along with my own skepticism, I have come to question whether the program actually helps refugees in the long run, or is it just putting a bandage on a large-scale problem.  As the article addresses, if volunteers are ineffectively helping, or not doing their intended service, than what good will the program do?  In class we discussed the idea that you are only supposed to help as much as you need to and no more.  I can infer that there are a large amount of volunteers who promote dependency through their service, and as expected, the refugees will go along with and encourage this behavior because it is easier and less strenuous for the short term. While it would be easier to give my family the answers to questions on homework or ELL worksheets, I have to think of the long term and the impact my service will have on the betterment and ease of their future lives in American society. Volunteers must constantly keep in mind that one day, we might not be there to give them the answers. However, promoting autonomy is essential in fully immersing into the American lifestyle.  Volunteers aren’t needed to put a bandage on a large problem, but instead be the cheerleaders and scaffolds that refugees need in order to not only thrive, but also flourish. I feel that the essential word to keep in mind while volunteering is “friend.”  What appears to be implied by all sources is that refugees need friends from their new place of residence.  Friends help, support, teach and love, but they also know their limits and want to see the best for those they care about.  As Benhia implies, some volunteers neglect the friend aspect, and some, I would imagine, take it too far.

This is where problems come in with the refugee-befriending program.  It is not the program in and of itself that is flawed, but I have come to recognize through lecture and the articles, that the problems stem from the volunteers in and of themselves.  As with all programs, if not implemented correctly, it is doomed to create incomplete or “flawed” results.  This frustrates me immensely as it is something I wish there was a single, simple and clear answer to combat it.   Thankfully, frustration can produce action and change.  I continue to ask myself how I will use the information I have been taught and gained through experience. What is my knowledge of refuges going to help if I’m not actively working to stop the problem of refugees in the world?  As a society we cannot passively serve others or learn about a problem, because in that case, nothing is going to change. We must approach the befriending program with the idea in mind that we are serving to make a difference in these individuals’ lives and becoming their friend.

So does the befriending actually work?  I suppose so.  It is important work overall, but as with all programs, it has its flaws. The program makes me increasingly aware that there are millions of people in far worse conditions then they are here in America.  I can’t help them all, and that infuriates me.  I learn so much from this class, and it seems so overwhelming to think that while I am helping individuals, those 1% of resettled refugees, what about the other 99% that will forever be scarred by war, violence and statelessness?  Those people that will never receive the medical and psychological care they deserve and require. It inspires and motivates me that I can make a difference in even a few of these people’s lives.  The befriending program has provided me with many days of great joy, and to that end, I will work to educate people further on how to properly work to make the lives of newly resettled refugees simpler in the long-term.

Behnia, B. (2008). An exploratory study of befriending programs with refuges. Journal of Immigrant and Refugee Studies,5(3),1-19.

Pipher, M. (2002). The middle of everywhere: helping refugees enter the american community.Orlando, Florida: Harcourt, Inc.

As a Catholic Christian, I am called to love and serve others as Jesus did, and to treat all of His creatures with dignity and respect. Knowing this, it comes as no shock when I say that service is and has always been a huge part of my life.  I have spent most of my life thus far helping others in numerous ways, but the most impactful service I’ve done has been working with refugees.  Refugees have endured so many horrific hardships and trials but yet, have some of the most beautiful, positive and happy spirits that I’ve ever come across.  To be short, my time working with refugees has changed my view on the world, my possible vocation, and most importantly my life. It seems odd for me to write a “pre-service” reflection paper about working with refugees, mainly because this isn’t my first (or my last) time doing this type of service. I’ve come to the decision that I’m am writing this about my initial expectations and interactions with my refugee family, whom I met a little over a year ago and the attitudes I have about working with a new family.  Before I talk about this, I feel that I must share why I am even in this class and writing a paper on my passion for helping refugees.

As a young girl, I wanted to reach outside the figurative walls of my suburban town and understand people and the problems that plague their everyday lives. I had this deep passion for serving others and working for change, but as an eleven year old, I had a hard time finding an outlet. I dreamed of doing missions work in Africa or Asia when I got older and yearned for a way to reach out and address the issues I felt so strongly about. It came as no surprise that as soon as I entered my high school, I helped form and join multiple social justice groups, most involving refugees to some extent. It seemed like the logical next step to work directly with refugees, instead of just for or in support of them as I had been doing all through high school. So while looking for colleges with a dedication for service, I found Loyola Refugee Outreach and was sold. I had no idea that newly resettled refugees were only an hour away from my hometown, and less than ten minutes from my new school.   I could not wait to dive into this newfound world of working one on one with a refugee family.  I felt that my previous experience and knowledge had prepared me perfectly for this.

Little did I know however, that there is a massive distinction between working for refugees and working with refugees.  I learned very quickly that when you are working for someone, you are only giving of yourself, but if you are working with someone, it is a give and take process.   I will never forget the first words from my instructor at training, “Let me be the first to say that you are really brave for being here.” Talk about a wake up call.  I was no longer working with Sudanese refugees who had been in the United States for years and had adjusted to American culture. This was the real deal.  It was like I was going on a mission trip in my own backyard, and that both terrified and excited me. I wondered whether I would be just a little too awkward for this family who had endured such turmoil already. Nevertheless, a month after my training, I was emailed an address and a day after that, lost in Rogers Park with a girl I had met ten minutes prior in search of my Nepali family.

Upon (finally) entering my family’s home, I was immediately taken out of my world, and brought into theirs. I knew enough to greet them with “Namaste” and they greeted us with “Hello”, but besides that, the language barrier was very noticeable.  As an English speaking American, I’ve very heavily relied upon most people being able to communicate with me within seconds of being with these people I realized that for most of my life, I’ve really taken communication for granted. Since I did have some prior experience working with refugees, I knew to bring along a sheet with a few Nepalese words and phrases, hoping that it would help make the experience less awkward.  I have never before gotten so many adults to laugh so easily as I did while trying to speak Nepali. I felt like a stand up comedian.  While the adults caught their breath, I found the kids and as soon as I mentioned the word Pokemon, I had eight new best friends crawling up me as if I were a tree. During that first few visits, I felt what could be described as a mild form of culture shock.  I was not used to their norms, beliefs or customs.  I realized that if I felt this way after spending four hours a week in their home, they must be so uncomfortable and scared.  It was then that I realized how profound it was to be working with newly resettled refugees.  I was living out my call to service and at the same time receiving so much in return.

I feel that when I visit my family, I am getting more than I am giving.  Being a part of their family has brought me so much joy, knowledge, and passion.  With each visit I learned a lot about myself. I learned that being awkward has its advantages. That when you say that your favorite American food is a hamburger, that you should be prepared to deal with the consequences of telling children that you eat their god.  Most importantly learned that I have loved my service working with refugees so far.  They have made me a better person and have deepened my faith as a Christian and citizen of this world.  I remember the question, “How can we as Americans be so blind to the suffering, even when it’s in own community?” echoing in my mind as I left their house that first day, and I have used that as a driving point as I work to educate others of the plight of refugees.

As I embark upon the next step in my journey of helping refugees, I can honestly say that I am ecstatic.  The idea of helping another family thrills me.  I look forward to the awkward first interaction where I am make a fool of myself trying to speak their native language.  I can’t wait to make their adjustment to life in Chicago smoother. I’m most looking forward to becoming friends, and eventually family, with more people who are so full of life, lessons and beauty.  This work is my passion, and learning more about these people and their struggles so that I can better serve them is a true blessing.  I cannot wait to see what this next step in service brings.

#1: Beginning of Semester

I am a lucky person. I am a United States citizen, who for my entire life has been lucky enough to possess a home; southeastern Wisconsin is my home, my place of refuge. The same cannot be said for those individuals who roam the country, endlessly tired, searching for their own home, and their own place of refuge. Who are these weary travelers? They are refugees: men, women, children, entire families and friends who, unbeknownst to many, live all around us in our cities, towns and neighborhoods. According to the United Nations High Commission for Refugees, there are approximately 16 million refugees in the world today, an all time high, and an astounding number of people who lack the ability to safely say that they too possess a home.

For me, this is simply the beginning of an extraordinary 16-week journey that I have embarked upon.  Prior to last week, refugees were possibly the farthest thought in my mind.  Much like a Chicago police cruiser flying down Sheridan road: they were a momentary vision, a fleeting thought. In the four years that I have lived, studied and socialized, in the Rogers Park and Chicago area, never once did I hear that Rogers Park possesses a community heavily defined by its refugee population. This population is not simply comprised of families from Mexico, Canada, or South America. The refugees in Rogers Park are families, friends, relatives, neighbors, human beings, from around the world. It is amazing to me that in a few short weeks I will be blessed with the opportunity to work with a refugee family. To demonstrate the “American way of life,” and to give them the peace-of-mind and understanding that they no longer have to travel tirelessly in search of an abstract: a true home. I am looking forward to this experience, not only because it will be eye opening, but because it will be a challenge, physically and emotionally. In the days, weeks, and months to come, it is my hope that I will be able to take a small portion of my American spirit, and present it to my refugee family as a welcome mat into their new home and new life. I hope to demonstrate that life can be and will be so much better, with each new day bringing a whole host of new opportunities and experiences. More importantly, I hope to transform the family into individuals who look ahead instead of over their shoulders.

Truly, I do not know what to expect with regard to this experience. I am excited, yet there is the ever present twinge of apprehension. I imagine that the first few encounters will be somewhat of a shock. I anticipate the impending awkwardness, but hope that I have the strength to embrace it simply as a byproduct of this amazing experience. By the end of this 16-week, structured journey, I hope to possess the necessary skills and rapport with the family, not only to call them my friends, but to be able to embark upon a completely new and boundless adventure as we continue our friendship together.

At this point, my desire is that this semester will reveal personal characteristic growth and development. I look forward to the future opportunities to reflect upon my shared experiences with the family, and to see how those experiences have altered my individual personality and character traits. As the common saying goes, “change is good.” Perhaps my refugee family has already embraced this mentality, realizing that their new lives are a blessing, something to be embraced, not hidden away from view. Perhaps I will be the one who learns the most from this new opportunity. Perhaps I will be the one with a new place to call home.

#2: Middle of Semester

From Fire into Fire

“And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time.”

-Libba Bray

            If one were to ask me to depict the most remarkable aspect of my refugee experience thus far, it would be challenging to pinpoint one single event or interaction fitting the description of “remarkable.” Nearly half-way through my first glimpse into the lives lead by our nation’s refugee population, the most remarkable aspect of my journey has been the fact that amidst outstanding chaos, angst, and uncertainty lies the most rewarding experience that I have ever been apart of. Working with and befriending a refugee family began as a fleeting thought, but now that thought has blossomed into a new and beautiful reality. My refugee family is bursting with optimism; a second chance at life in the United States of America has instilled upon each of them new hopes and dreams. In just a few hours of interaction and time spent together I have seen the impact that American freedom has had on my family: they gleefully exclaim “America good! America people good! America good!” At this point in their journey as refugees they finally have a concrete belief to hold onto and trust; America is a land where everyone has a dream.

America is the land of opportunity. For refugees, it is a utopia full of the greatest gifts that life has to offer. That being said, my study of refugees and the processes behind gaining entrance to the United States has yielded alarming results. This is best illustrated by Mary Pipher’s novel entitled, “The Middle of Everywhere;” America is a land that offers so much to hopeful refugee families, but it is not until they set foot onto American soil that reality sets in; ultimately, they have “come from a fire into a fire.” Refugees require our support. There is a limited amount of continued assistance that volunteer agencies such as the Immigrant and Refugee Community Organization (IRCO) and the International Rescue Committee (IRC) can provide. Typically, these agencies focus on resettlement services such as arranging for food, housing, clothing, employment, counseling, medical care and other immediate needs during the first 90 days after arrival. After this initial period of time, additional services are provided to pre-approved individuals but the majority of refugees are in a still relatively unfamiliar environment with unanswered questions, seemingly impossible language barriers, and an American dream that can quickly be replaced by an overwhelming nightmare.

To combat the effects of this transition period many volunteer organizations are turning toward Befriending Programs for refugees. Befriending programs are a form of support system in which people without adequate emotional and material resources are matched with volunteers who act as a friend and offer support and friendship for a determined period of time (Behnia, 2008). Working with my refugee family for these first few weeks has evolved from a required weekly meeting of complete strangers, to a reciprocal companionship, a type of “befriending program” in which we are both learning from and helping each other. Looking back at my initial predictions and expectations towards this experience, I can honestly say that I did not expect the relationship that I would develop with my new refugee family to grow as quickly as it has. The sheer magnitude of generosity, caring, and compassion demonstrated thus far has been overwhelming. From the beginning I was tentative with regards to the uncertainty surrounding refugees and befriending programs. Lacking any previous experience with refugees, my only resource for information on what to expect from the first few visits came in the form of Mary Pipher’s novel. I became increasingly anxious as I read her descriptions of the potential awkwardness involved in refugee interactions: mispronunciations of names, accidently engaging in offensive behavior, and the language barrier. In retrospect I believe that my anxiety was rooted in the fear of being unable to assist my family: how would I communicate with them if they did not know English? What if I accidentally offended them? Could I really make a difference in what I could only imagine was a life-changing event? The moment I met my family, all my fears vanished; I was in the presence of four complete strangers yet I felt safe, secure, happy, and at-home. Not only did that moment alter the way in which I viewed the refugee experience, but it also changed my perspective regarding Pipher’s novel: her message is not one of perpetual fear towards encountering refugees; rather, she challenges her readers to embrace the uncertainty surrounding those situations because that is how change happens and a unique difference is made.

Though my family possesses an enormous amount of optimism and gratitude toward their current situation as new refugees in America, I know that they still have much to overcome. Their current emotional and mental state is characteristic of the “honeymoon phase” of the resettlement process: they have been in the United States for a little over two months, continue to receive financial assistance, and as previously mentioned, America is “good” to them. I find myself worrying about the parent’s apparent lack of urgency towards obtaining employment; however, I also understand the difficulties faced by refugees trying to secure a job with little-to-no proficiency in the English language. Additionally, I try to remind myself that they have only been in the United States for two months: there is still time to get settled and become employed before the government assistance ends. For me, it is an emotional rollercoaster because I wish my family to have the best possible resettling experience by maintaining low levels of frustration, helplessness, and discouragement. Taking that into account, I believe that a major difference has already been made in their lives due to befriending. This period in a refugee’s journey is marked by increased vulnerability to a false sense of security, the darker side of the American way of life—scams targeting refugee families, uncooperative and greedy landlords, exploitation of foreign employees by business owners, etc.—and the overwhelming nature of having to reinvent their identity as an American citizen. Having a volunteer by their side to help guide them towards logical, safe, and beneficial decisions is one of the best ways to begin the acclimation process for refugees. That being said, befriending is not without its limitations. Despite its important contributions to refugees’ adjustment to a new society, very little is known about the long-standing benefits of befriending programs (Behnia, 2008). Furthermore, befriending is only useful as a preliminary support system; meaning, that in order to be successful in American society refugees must be capable of assessing new situations, processing information, and making their own informed decisions. Befriending programs are excellent temporary solutions to the difficulties of resettlement; however, they should not become permanent crutches for refugees to lean on.

Overall, my family has voiced their appreciation for the help that I have been able to provide, and I think that my presence acts as a secondary form of reassurance that they are on their way towards a safer and happier life. I wish to see my family excel in American society. I understand that they have many challenges and obstacles yet to overcome, but I am confident in their determination to procure the best possible outcome of their new situation. I look forward to the coming months and the opportunity to watch my family grow together as American citizens. Realistically, we are now on this journey together, and it is my job to take their hands and lead them home.

#3: Final Reflection

Creating a New Home

            If I had been asked at the beginning of the semester to provide a definition for “a refugee,” it would have been nearly impossible for me to do so. At that point in time, the concept of refugees was perhaps the farthest thought in my mind, which tragically, is the case for large percentage of individuals living in the United States of America. When one considers refugees in that context, the problem of not knowing what a refugee is, where they come from, and how they got here, seems miniscule. After all, there are other individuals living in this nation who get paid to ask those types of questions and figure out what to do with the thousands of refugees who travel to the United States on an annual basis, right? Maybe. With that said, the turning point for me and the way in which I chose to think about refugee people, came when I realized that hundreds of refugee families live in my own backyard, Rogers Park, the place where I have attended school for the last four years. From that point on, I was hooked. I immediately wanted to learn more about these people from all different parts of the world, who, unbeknownst to me, ride the same buses, walk the same sidewalks, and entertain similar goals and dreams as I do.

Midway through the semester I finally had a concrete definition of who a refugee actually is: A refugee is someone who has been forced to flee his or her country because of persecution, war, or violence. A refugee has a well-founded fear of persecution for reasons of race, religion, nationality, political opinion or membership in a particular social group. Most likely, they cannot return home or are afraid to do so. War and ethnic, tribal and religious violence are leading causes of refugees fleeing their countries. More importantly, I began to learn about the entire process of becoming a refugee: a journey often highlight by extreme stories of survival, fear, uncertainty, confusion, and even a little bit of luck. It was also at this point during the semester that I began to immerse myself in the practice of befriending with my refugee family. The weekly visits passed by way too quickly, and my partner and I always left wishing that we could stay for just another hour, or two…or three. I began to formulate my own [simple] definition of what refugees really are: refugees are some of the finest and most unique human beings that anyone could imagine spending time with. Working with refugees over the last four months has transformed me into a more humble individual. Additionally, working with refugees has been a remarkable experience because it is the only time in my life that I have ever been in the presence of human beings who cast their egos aside, which, I must say, has been incredibly refreshing.

Looking back on this semester and the experiences I’ve shared with my classmates and refugee family, it is astonishing how much I have grown as a person, not only in my understanding of refugees and the process of becoming one, but also in my appreciation of who they are as human beings. Moreover, this semester has taught me how to fully appreciate the unique gifts, talents, and cultural experiences that refugees bring to the Rogers Park and Chicago areas. The beginning of my experience was overshadowed by my own personal doubts and misconceptions regarding refugees in the United States. I anticipated a completely different interaction marked by confusion, frustration, and an overall lack of communication. Similarly, I expected that my refugee family would be completely helpless in their new American home; thus, my first few visits were incredibly nerve-racking because I expected the worst. Ultimately, my expectations proved to be entirely untrue. My family spoke [some] English, they were optimistic, and immediately made me feel as though I was part of their family.

Refuge in the United States ultimately requires adaption to a new society that presents a variety of options and constraints, and that has its own expectations about newcomers. Moreover, refugees are expected to live up to American societal standards: it is imperative for them to learn the basics of life in the United States. Without those basic skills, I believe that the chance for a successful life is nearly impossible. Overall, I have spent an incredible amount of time immersed in the United States refugee resettlement process this semester. From in-class lectures, to organized service activities, to the weekly visits with my family, I have seen both the good, the bad, as well as, the ugly, when it comes to refugee resettlement. As David Haines illustrates in his book entitled “Safe Haven,” the practice of refugee resettlement in the United States relies heavily upon the inner workings of the volunteer resettlement agencies (VOLAGS). The volunteer organizations provide refugees with immediate assistance ranging from airport pick-up upon arrival to the United States, to initial health screenings and ESL classes. Additionally, they provide the initial financial foundation for refugees once they are settled in their new American homes. With that said, many refugees still find themselves locked into a desperate situation: families struggle to pay rent, find adequate money for food, learn basic English, and obtain employment. Haines suggests that employment and learning the English language are the two most important achievements for refugees once they arrive the United States. Despite the fact that VOLAGS supposedly assist refugee families with these two tasks, many refugees are left to fend for themselves in terms of finding ESL classes and scheduling job interviews. For example, the father of my refugee family finally became bored with sitting at home waiting for his case work to help him prepare a resume, so he began walking around the Rogers Park area in search of any “Help Wanted” signs. To combat this issue I would suggest that VOLAGS attempt “out-source” refugee employment needs to other, separate organizations. With hundreds of cases being taken each month, it is easy for the VOLAGS to become overwhelmed, which makes it even easier for individuals to get lost in the system. With a separate organization helping out with employment, VOLAGS could potentially pass refugee families on for employment needs once the basic living and financial foundation has been solidified. Currently, I think that the most valuable assistance to VOLAGS is the process of befriending. Befriending acts as a middleman for refugees at times when VOLAGS are overwhelmed, or refugee families have a quick question or urgent need. More importantly, befriending allows refugees to build long-lasting friendships with American people; refugees feel more comfortable knowing that they have someone who understands the American culture and way of life.

In the years ahead, I hope to be able to look back upon this experience as one that changed who I am as a person. I have already learned so much about the refugee resettlement process and more importantly, I have met many incredibly unique and talented individuals from around the world. It is experiences such as this that excite me and fuel my desire to travel the world; I wish to meet new people, experience different cultures and hear new stories. Equally important is the fact that this experience has opened my eyes to the world that exists outside of America’s borders. Lucky for me, that world is traveling here to the United States. With that in mind, we all posses the necessary qualities to assist refugee families in their new American homes, but it is up to each and every one of us to take that leap outside of our comfort zone and extend our helping-hands to lead them home.

Working with refugees is an idea I have been thinking about for quite some time now. The origin of determination to become a physician stemmed from the deep desire to help those in real need. My ideal job would have me traveling to impoverished areas of the world that truly lack resources and really need medical aid. I find that helping the downtrodden is the greatest source of pleasure for me. There is something incredibly amazing about knowing that you went out of your way to reach out and relieve anxiety in some type of way; this is my reason for taking this class. The reading by Mary Pipher, in my opinion, served as a very good introduction into what it is like to work with refugee families and how rewarding it is to be there for them.

In the book I appreciated how the author starts off with a disclaimer, explaining how she has no intentions of offending any groups of refugees mentioned in the book. She conveys a very respectful tone, which I believe is essential in writing about such delicate subjects. The fact that the stories are told through the eyes of a typical American woman living in a very normal, typical American town is quite effective in conveying her points. It seems like the perfect setting into which refugees can come and make a huge, positive impact on the lives of people. The author speaks in a very humble tone, which I can very much appreciate, and glorifies neither Americans nor refugees as the better group of people. In fact, she describes Americans as “spoiled children in a world of hurting people” (31). Yet she also claims that she does not wish to “idealize refugees” (31) because there are all types of people in every ethnic group. However she does describe refugees as people who “come from a fire into a fire” (32). Using this type of language is very effective in describing the refugee experience within a culture like that in contemporary America. Growing up in an immigrant family, I can somewhat relate to the refugee struggle to relate and blend into mainstream American society. It is made especially difficult by certain attitudes and ideologies held by the majority of Americans, who as Pipher put, “are abysmally ignorant about the rest of the world” (31) and many times do not even care to know about it. Living in a society like this make the refugee experience even harder then it already is. However there are always those who genuinely care and who make very positive impacts on the lives of these struggling people, such as the Miss Pipher.

In talking about the Iraqi sisters, Pipher states that, “All of these women had spent their beautiful youth locked in a hut in Quetta. Now they were out of step with their own people as well as with Americans” (44). This statement was quite effective in soliciting an emotional response from me, as it forced me to imagine what it would be like for me to be stuck in the middle of every society I am presented with, and not be able to fully relate to any of them. The statement also helped me to realize how incredibly important keeping strong family ties between refugee families must be, because when the world fails you, you always have your family to fall back on. In addition, the author quoted a man who said, “ ‘Optimism is true moral courage’ “ (32); this statement struck a chord in me, as it allowed me to widen my admiration for refugees, because according to the author most of them keep an optimistic view of life despite the incredible amount of adversity they experience. Reflecting on their life outlooks led me to reflect on my own, and ask myself what the author claims most Americans usually ask themselves when presented with a story on extreme adversity, “ ‘What would I do in that situation?’ “(32). I am positive that working with families with such strong and optimistic people will push me to be much more grateful for the high-quality life I live, and to place a higher value on the things that really matter in life.

In anticipation for working with refugee families, I will take into account the author’s description of her reasons for wanting to see the refugee family consistently and vise versa; she’s said that “They needed the advice and support and I needed their joy at seeing me and their curiosity about the world” (42). I think this symbiotic relationship is a beautiful thing. It serves to give me hope for humanity as a whole, and it has encouraged me to join the circle of people who help each other with only good will for each other.

Paper 1

When I first became interested in Anthropology 301, I was somewhat unsure about taking the course. It was going to be my final semester at Loyola, and did I really have time for a course I don’t need for my major? Would I have the time to spend three hours each week with a family, when I would be so busy with studying, working, and applying for nursing jobs for after graduation? However, the information presented at an event to make hygiene kits moved me enough that I decided to enroll in the course.
Even as I walked to the first class, I was still unsure if I had made the right choice. But as soon as we started talking about refugees, I knew I was going to love this life-changing experience. I am so excited to meet my refugee family and help them settle into their new home and neighborhood.
My first experience that really inspired and motivated me was when I traveled to Honduras this past August. Our group from Global Brigades spent one week with some of the most underprivileged and happiest people I have ever met. We spent time improving their home infrastructure by building an eco-stove, latrine, shower, and water storage unit, as well as putting concrete floors in their home. When I came back to the United States, I was reminded how unfair life truly is. I had just bonded with people who were truly appreciative for the simplest things, and I had to return to a country where so many people live lives of excess and yet are still rude and ungrateful. I realize that this is very narrow-minded of me to categorize people in this way, but that is how I truly felt when I returned to Chicago.
That being said, I began looking for ways to help not only those who are less fortunate than me, but also those who truly appreciate life. I have never in my life met a refugee, but I know that when I do, my heart will be touched. From the stories we discussed in class and those I have read about, I know each refugee honestly appreciates being alive. So many people in this world take things for granted, and I am eager to work with people who are thankful for what they have.
I agree with Mary Pipher when she said that refugees have helped her “see my country with fresh clear eyes.” I can understand how people outside of America view this country, and why they view Americans as greedy, lazy, gluttonous, and ungrateful. We are given so many opportunities, and many people do not appreciate what they have. However, there are plenty of generous and helpful human beings that want to give back to those less fortunate, and I am glad we have the resources to do that in America.
My experience in Honduras completely changed my view of the world and my goals in life, and I’m positive that my time with the refugee family will do the same. I previously knew that I wanted to work in pediatrics for my entire career, but I am not sure about that anymore. I have been exploring opportunities to work in global health because I feel that I should help people who need my help the most. I hope that the time I spend with the refugee family will open my eyes to many more opportunities to help others. I am looking forward to meeting my refugee family, whom I have not yet been paired with. I hope I am able to make a positive impact on the entire family because I know this experience will impact me greatly. I am excited for us to learn from each other during this semester, and cannot wait to get started.

Paper 2

The first time I met my refugee family, we were all a little nervous. However, the family welcomed us with open arms and two cups of tea. My partner and I helped the children with their homework, and we met the older members of the family. By the end of the first hour we were already more comfortable with each other, even though the communication between us was somewhat of a struggle. Behnarr Behnia notes that “the complexities of the cultural differences between refugees and volunteers as well as language barriers were reported to cause misunderstanding and to hinder relationship building” (Behnia 2008). After spending some time with my refugee family, I am sure that we will be able to overcome any such barriers and hopefully have a lifelong bond with each other.
After the second week of befriending with my family, it was already a lot more relaxed for everyone involved. We had the opportunity to meet the mother of the family, who had been asleep the first night we met her children. Even though we have only been able to help the kids with homework up to this point, it is still very rewarding. With ten children in the family, they have a lot of schoolwork. As Mary Pipher puts it, “it is not surprising that traumatized kids who don’t speak much English have trouble learning. What is surprising is given their circumstances how much and how quickly most kids learn” (Pipher 2002). It is really gratifying to explain a concept that one child didn’t understand during class, and to watch them begin to comprehend it.
As we get to know the family members more, they reveal more about their lives. I am a little nervous that if they reveal very personal information, I will not be able to comfort them about their past. Behnia recognizes that “volunteers’ lack of understanding of exile and its impact on refugees’ well-being negatively influenced their work. Due to past life experiences some refugees have very complex and demanding needs that could overwhelm befrienders” (Behnia 2008). While I am not concerned about being overwhelmed, I am making sure to keep an open mind to whatever may come up. I don’t want my lack of understanding of exile to interfere with the positive relationship we are building.
I know that my refugee family has endured unbelievable events, as many refugees do. Sarah Steimel notes that “in addition to threats and narrow escapes, the human interest stories repeatedly describe refugees as suffering violence, torture or physical abuse for their political, ethnic, or religious positions in their home country” (Steimel 2010). Having a support system is beneficial for anyone, but especially for refugees due to their previous experiences. Befriending programs offer substantial emotional and social support to newcomers. It is comforting and helpful for the refugees to have people be there for them, even if it is only to talk.
One of the main goals of befriending is to help integrate refugees into the new culture they are brought into. Through this class we have learned that befriending programs offer much-needed support to refugees. There are many challenges to resettlement, and befrienders are supposed to ease the transition. In fact, “research indicates that the presence of supportive resources such as family member, friends, ethnic community, and adequate formal services can assist refugees in dealing with resettlement-related challenges” (Behnia 2008). Befrienders provide guidance with job searches, financial management, landlord and tenant relations, and expansion of one’s social network. They also help improve language and communication skills, improve refugees’ abilities to access community resources, increase confidence in daily activities, reduce feelings of isolation and emotional distress, and much more (Behnia 2008). I am so thankful that I am able to participate in a program that has such a tremendous impact on everyone involved.
As I anticipated, spending time with refugees is changing my views of the world. I am now looking into possible career options that involve this wonderful, diverse population. One thing in class that really influenced me was watching Lost Boys of Sudan. This movie opened my eyes to social difficulties that newcomers face. For example, I did not realize how significantly they could be affected by inaccurate racial profiling. When Peter and Santino come to Texas, they have to face being categorized by just their skin color. I agree with Laura DeLuca’s statement that “refugees are a diverse group not easily placed in categories” (DeLuca 2008). There are so many newcomers from diverse cultural backgrounds that come to the United States every day. Just as any other human being, refugees should not be categorized.
I hope that someday soon the policies of the United Nations will change to accept more refugees into various countries. It is disappointing that only ten countries have formal refugee resettlement programs: “Australia, Canada, Denmark, Finland, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Sweden, Switzerland and the United States” (Steimel 2010). While I think it is amazing what we are already doing for refugees, I believe more could be done. For example, I don’t think refugees should have to wait an average of ten years in a refugee camp. The UN should be doing more to try and speed up the entire process.
For my refugee family, the majority of what we have been able to do so far is help them with school work. Next week we plan on staying at their home longer than the normal three hours because we really want to help the family with other aspects of befriending as well. Even if we can only start with teaching the family English, it would still be very beneficial especially for those who are not currently in school. Overall, I think the befriending program is very significant for these newcomers. Whether it is helping a refugee write a resume or just helping a child with homework, every encounter is important and appreciated by everyone involved.

Paper 3

Before this class, I had no experience with refugees. This semester has opened my eyes to the struggles that so many people go through just to come to a country they know nothing about. I definitely had some misconceptions about refugees before taking this course. I am thankful that I was able to learn more about the refugee population and become close with a local refugee family.
There were no specific misconceptions I had about refugees before I took this class, I just did not know much about them. I have learned the struggles they encounter and the many barriers they face on their journey to a new country. I have also discovered that they are very resilient, hard-working, optimistic, and appreciative people. I agree with David Haines when he says that “the disadvantages that refugees face affect the course of their longer-term adjustment to the United States, making their frequent successes more impressive and their difficulties more understandable” (Haines 2010). I am so proud of the members of my refugee family for working the jobs that they do, even though I’m sure they would be in higher positions and in better occupations if they were not facing as much adversity.
In my opinion, one of the main obstacles refugees face when they come to the United States is a language barrier. Research has demonstrated that “the ability to speak English was closely correlated to economic success, including obtaining jobs, the salary and wage levels of those jobs, and the overall economic situation of refugee households” (Haines 2010). Unfortunately many refugees experience a downward drift when they arrive in the U.S. and have to start over at the bottom of society. I think if the U.S. focused more on teaching refugees English, then they would be able to be more productive members of our society.
It would be great if volunteer agencies could better assist refugees with English language learning. The language barrier makes everything more difficult for refugees. In fact, even “refugees themselves perceived English as a crucial skill” (Haines 2010). Understanding English and being able to communicate would help refugees adapt to their new country. They could obtain a better education, meet more people in the community, and find a better job.
Another issue that refugees face when they come to the United States is that they are already in debt as soon as they step off the plane. They owe back the money for their flight tickets, and they are urged to find jobs as soon as possible to pack back these funds. Because they are pressured to pay back their loans so soon, they are forced to accept employment that they may be over-qualified and under-paid for. Haines says it best when he states: “there is an even more fundamental problem: the conceptual inadequacy of employment as a program measure at all. Why is immediate employment so crucial? Why not have people go to school so they can get better jobs later on?” (Haines 2010). If refugees were allowed to begin or continue their education and improve their English before having to go to work, they would be able to attain higher paying positions and contribute more to society.
In addition to problems with language barriers, education, and occupations, refugees struggle to maintain their identity. They have fled their country of origin due to persecution, yet they still have ties to the culture. However, once refugees enter the United States they are also being pressured by the culture here. Haines states that “refugees operate conceptually in the spatial and temporal interstice between the countries that forced their departure (and challenged their very identity) and a United States that seeks to impose its own identity categories” (Haines 2010). On top of everything else they are dealing with, refugees need to decide if they want to maintain their current identity or adapt it to U.S. culture.
From my experiences, I have discovered that there could be much improvement with refugee resettlement in the United States. Refugees must overcome the issues of learning English, education, employment, and their identity. If volunteer agencies could assist them more with the English language, I believe that would allow refugees to improve in the other problematic areas.

From what I had learned about the refugee experience in class and from the readings, I realized that I would be playing a crucial role in somebody’s life, as an ambassador for the customs, values, and language of a country they were thrown into as a result of forces probably outside of their control. Upon my first reflection I had yet to meet with my refugee family. In my mind, I was picturing an experience similar to Mary Pipher’s, where I would become a close friend and an important part of their transitional period here in the US. I wanted to help the family in an indispensable way. However as the situation has played out in my time as a refugee family volunteer, my partner and I have realized that good things come gradually. Of course I knew that upon meeting us, the family would have many reservations and maybe be a bit afraid and timid; all of these expectations I had about the first meeting were met, and to a high degree. In my first reflection, which I wrote before meeting my refugee family, I thought about the source of these expectations. The clash between the expectations I had and the reality of my situation proved to be quite startling. Firstly I did not even realize that my family spoke no English to begin with; and just as I heard said in class, this proved to be the largest disadvantage the family had to begin with. I learned that the 4 young children had not even started school during my first 2 visits, which made me believe my partner and I had been assigned to the family at a great time. The difficulties presented with teaching a family of 6 who did not know one word of English are tremendous. During the first few meetings, my partner and I had only been able to get across to them the words for objects that we could find in the room we all congregated in. Progressively we brought some flash cards, and a whiteboard to show them what the words looked like once written down. To my great surprise, almost the whole family picked up the words very quickly, and retained them until the next meeting. Another element of surprise came from seeing how extremely polite the entire family was in regards to addressing and listening to my partner and I. It was not until the fourth meeting we had this past weekend that the family seemed to loosen up and accept our regular presence into their lives. One would think to see the family a bit more down, seeing that they are completely alone in this huge country, surrounded by people speaking words they do not know, but this family is a very cheerful one. We ran into one of the family’s case workers during our third visit, who informed us that the agency had not heard any complaints from this family, unlike many of the agency’s other refugee families. Although he could not speak their language, he said he came to check up on them every once in a while, since he had not heard from them in a while. This made me reflect on my personal character, in a way I had never actually done. In my first reflection I put myself in the shoes of a refugee and concluded that life would be extremely difficult and it might take a negative toll on my mental and emotional health. Seeing this family keep their spirits up despite undergoing so much turbulence is incredibly inspirational. This is one of the ways in which befriending a refugee family has proven not only to benefit the refugees, but the befriender herself, in this case.

I found it interesting that all of the duties that the befriending article stated should be carried out by the befriender’s organization such as following up with the befriender, providing education on refugees and how to deal with situations, and clearly outlining the tasks to be done and regularly reviewing the befriender’s tasks are apparently, in our case, replaced by this one class. I think it is amazing how one class one day a week could provide so much valuable information and apply it directly to real world situations, in this case working with a real refugee family. When I tell my friends and family about the class, they ask in amazement, “You get to work with REAL refugees?!” One criticism for the agencies that I have however, is that in my opinion the agencies should be giving a bit more active attention to families who did not speak a word of English upon arriving to the US. It is possible to teach these individuals another language, but it is extremely difficult to get any simple conceptual lessons in without having at least a translator. In my experience, last time I met with the family, I had the idea of bringing my laptop to their apartment. Seeing that my partner had a whiteboard with him, we coordinated to link their native language, being Burmese, to English. This link is essential; one cannot simply rely on pointing to intimate objects to say they have taught enough English to give a Refugee family the sufficient push to succeed. Seeing that we had no translator, I pulled up an online workbook, with very useful phrases translated from Burmese to English, and asked one of the older children to help me teach. I had her read the Burmese version of the phrase, and then on the whiteboard I would write the English translation, and repeat. This helped feel more comfortable with participating more, and there was suddenly a more informal environment created, which they seemed to prefer. During a break from one of our lessons, one of the children ran to the kitchen and brought our some grapes and a drink for us for the first time. I began to see the great progress we were making, they seemed to really appreciate us being there, and appreciated the more casual atmosphere that was beginning to build between us all. Because it took my partner and I four visits to begin to see the family open up in a more intimate manner, I concluded that this family must come from a culture where trust is earned slowly, but once earned, it is kept and respected. During that fourth visit, the kids even began approaching me and playing with my laptop and asking me questions about my name using small words we had taught them and many gestures. It is through these gradual changes in the dynamics of my relationship with the family that I can see how much they yearn for new friends with knowledge about this new and daunting land. Thinking back to how scared and intimidated the family seemed at first, I feel a great satisfaction in knowing that we are making steady, yet effective progress in teaching them the language of their new country, and simultaneously making real friends.

In previous reflections concerning refugees, I had much less knowledge and personal experience than I do now. Going on visits to a refugee household every week has really changed the way I think about refugees and their experience. When we first met the family, none of them spoke one word of English, and communication proved quite difficult. However now when my partner and I go for our weekly visits, they greet us with a “Hello!” and a huge smile. Although they are not at all fluent yet, their vocabulary has been extended significantly, and their level of comfort with us has also improved. It was understood since the beginning, by my partner and I, that people from Myanmar have very distinct cultural expectations than do Americans. Despite this cultural barrier, my partner and I have done things to crawl out of our own comfort zones in order to make them feel more comfortable, and even though it is difficult to do this sometimes, it has helped me become a more open person. Opening up to refugees to help them in turn open up to us has actually had a big impact on my personality and on my expectations for people with distinct cultural mores. One has to realize that not everybody will be able to or even want to assimilate into mainstream American culture, and that is alright. After all, we are a nation that has evolved out of the combination of a million different customs from all over the world. Working with a refugee family for a continuous amount of time has provided a very unique connection to them; at first, the members of this family seemed very distant and different from me, but after meeting and getting to know them a bit more, I stopped thinking of them as solely members of a completely different experience than mine, and began to relate to them as individuals with the same needs and aspirations as me. In fact, I’ve seen qualities in our family that have elicited a strong sense of respect for them and the incredible strength they must possess in order to make it as far as they have. These are people who deserve just as much, if not more help than people who are already citizens of this country. We were born here with rights that we believe we are naturally entitled to, when refugees all over the world are fighting every day with all of their strength in order to possess the same rights we take for granted.

When exposed to such different ways of thinking and behavioral norms, one must keep in mind that respect and courtesy should always be practiced. This applies to when visiting different countries, but especially when dealing with people as vulnerable as refugees. Upon meeting our families, there was a lot of respectful hand gestures and signs of respect for the mother and the father of the family; now that level of respect is still maintained, but our families have grown to respect us as their teachers of a tool which is crucial to their success in their new country.

So far, I have only seen one member of our refugee family’s  assigned VOLAG interact with them on one occasion. In my honest opinion, I believe that increased volunteer-agency interactions would better serve the refugees in so many ways. Firstly, translators could be provided to each volunteer at least during the first few sessions with the families. There are ways around having translators with us for every meeting, but with families who do not speak any English, their services would greatly aid the effectiveness of our mission and their understanding of what we are trying to teach them.

Just as there are countless Americans who have goodwill towards helping refugees who arrive in the US, there are many people who either are apathetic or have an aversion towards them. At times, the US government could be included in the latter category. As Haines pointed out in his book, Safe Haven? A History of Refugees in America, US policies on refugee resettlement have not always met even the most basic needs of those arriving on our shores. Instead of allocating an incredibly amount of money for the expansion of military/defense programs, the government needs to reevaluate its refugee programs if those people looking for protection are to obtain a better quality of life than they had before. In addition to this, people against a higher ceiling for refugees and immigrants should, in my opinion, modify their negative views of people in such groups. The American people should understand that we have an incredible amount of freedom and comfort compared to many other places in the world, and instead of taking that for granted and excluding others from enjoying the same privileges, we, both on an individual and political level, should develop a more welcoming sense of inclusion for all people looking for a better quality of life.

Working in such close proximity to people who have been through so much has made me much more grateful for the privileged life I lead as an American citizen, and it has developed and strengthened my desire to promote social justice for people in similar situations as refugees, where they are at the mercy of people whose intentions are not always good. No matter what country we originated from, every single person should have the right to a peaceful life free from a fear of being persecuted for unjust reasons.

Reflection 3
Prior to this class I knew little about refugees and the process they take to enter the United States. I never thought about refugees and if I did, it was often in a victimized way. I definitely did not consider that the neighborhood I live in was populated with many refugee families. This class has not only opened my eyes to refugees, but also has changed the way I think about people and things everyday.
My idea of a refugee was someone victimized during warfare so they had to leave their homes. This was a very simplified and naïve definition of a refugee. It was surprising to learn the involved definition and the complicated, often long, process of refugees entering the United States. Even after learning more about refugees, my view of them still slightly remained the same. I saw them almost as completely helpless. Even though refugees do need assistance to better assimilate, they are still independent people capable of the same things we are. Working with my family has changed my view. My family is very hardworking and eager to learn. Often, I would belittle the amount of things they knew. It was difficult to gauge what they actually already understood but just had trouble with the English, and the things they really were not aware of.
It’s easy to just assume refugees are not educated because they cannot communicate it in English. However, there are many refugees that were doctors, engineers, and other professions before they had to leave their homes. When they come to the United States though, they will most likely not be able to continue their work due to language barriers and accreditation conflicts. This may lead to the refugee being forced to take a low-skill entry-level position with little opportunities to move up in a career. In David Haines book, Safe Haven? : A History of Refugees in America, he discusses this issue (Haines 13). Both the mother and father of my refugee family have jobs. The mother, who is pregnant, works at the airport cleaning. The father worked at a restaurant, but recently just left his family in Chicago in hopes of finding a job in Iowa. I was really surprised that he would sacrifice seeing his family everyday in hopes of finding a better job. This really stressed how important employment and providing for his family was to him.
I was also unaware of how difficult it was to be considered a refugee and gain access to the United States. There are many requirements, and checkpoints with many different departments that the family must pass before getting approval. I don’t think many people are aware of the entire process and just assume any refugee can come to the United States. I think if more people were aware of this process, they would view refugees in a different way. There aren’t many opportunities for people to learn about refugees unless they go looking for it. If people were more aware of refugees, I think there would be more of an effort to push for an improvement in the assistance from United States provides.
The budget allotted for refugee resettlement is about 0.02% of the total United States spending budget. This is not much to assist all the refugees that enter the United States. Refugees are expected to become self-sufficient within three months. This isn’t much time for volunteer agencies to help the families. If the overall budget was increased, then more time and money could be used to prepare refugees for living in the United States. With a longer period of assistance, refugees could take more time to learn English and better adjust to the new culture. This would allow them to be more experienced and qualified to get a better job, which allows them to have a better chance of being self-sufficient in the long run.
Overall this experience has been very eye opening. I have changed the way I view people and have learned to be more open with them. When a family you know nothing about welcomes you into their home and treats you with such care and respect, you start to realize how closed off you can be. I have started to change the way I approach things and have become more welcoming to things outside my comfort zone. It has been a great experience and I hope to learn more from it.

Reflection 2
Working with my family has exceeded any expectations I had before starting. Originally I thought we would be seen more as just teachers or helpers. By the second visit however, I felt we were becoming more than that. I didn’t expect to be welcomed so quickly. Working with them every week, sharing meals, talking, and playing with the kids has made me realize more of a friendship is being formed. These experiences have allowed me to better understand the readings and discussion in class as well.
During the first visit I was nervous to meet my family. I didn’t know what they would think of me or how much they expected of me. We asked what they wanted us to focus on with them and they said to help them practice their English. In my mind this defined our relationship as more of an educational one. For the next week we had a lesson plan ready and reviewed names of common household items and rooms. In my mind I had built up how much we should go over. I did not realize the simplest things were what they really needed. The phrase “less is more” really seems to be helpful when reviewing English with them. The lessons were so simple I almost felt like I wasn’t helping them but each time they were so thankful and happy to learn.
I felt I was becoming more of a friend to the family just after the second visit. We were greeted with smiles and the girls were so excited we had returned. After the lesson, we were invited to stay for dinner. During dinner we talked more about our families and how things were different for them. It was more of a friendly conversation than teaching. Since then, we have had dinner with them a few times and brought pizza the most recent visit. We joke around and play with the girls. One day they asked us to take their family picture. They also wanted one with us so they could put it on their wall. This really meant a lot and showed we were more than just their teachers.
The family shared with us that their relatives were going to be coming from the camp in Tanzania next month. They were very excited and we talked about having a little celebration when they do come. We were also told that they are expecting a third child in about three or four months. By sharing these things with us, I think it means they trust us. We are people they want to include in their lives. I am so excited for a baby to come. We talked about how they think it’s going to be another girl even though they want to have a boy. We did ask if she had seen a doctor to make sure she was getting proper care. I was not sure how involved we should be with this but Pat had told me that just asking was enough. Even though I thought about it, I realized it was not my place to actually make any appointments. Communication between Pat and us was important for this situation so that we did not do anything we were not supposed to.
Every visit I am excited to get there and sad to leave. The girls love when we play with them after going over English. We sing and dance, color, and take lots of pictures. I’ve learned that no matter where a child is from, it only takes them about 5 minutes to figure out how to work a phone. The girls, three and five, do the same thing my four year old sister does. They are obsessed with taking pictures of everything and everyone and then looking at them over and over again. I think the hardest part of leaving is saying bye to the girls. Each week they want us to stay longer and cry sometimes times as we leave. Even my own sister doesn’t cry when I leave for school and won’t see her for months. This makes me realize we are very important to them.
We made a commitment to this family and I know that I want to be apart of their lives as long as I can. The Behnia essay, “An Exploratory Study of Befriending Programs with Refugees: The Perspective of Volunteer Organizations” discussed the importance of retention of volunteers. I understand how the consistency of a volunteer is one of the most important aspects of working with refugee families. I know I don’t want to stop seeing them once the class is over. This has been one of the most eye-opening volunteer experiences I have had. I have never felt so helpful and wanted from any other experience. Behnia says, “In befriending programs, volunteers offer emotional, informational, and instrumental support…” (Behnia 3). I can see how I am already starting to offer those things. We are providing the emotional support when we just talk to them. By helping them practice English and teach them things like how to make a grocery list, we are being informative and instrumental. We have been asked about jobs and talk about school. With other experiences I feel that I was not helping with all of those things at once. To play such an important role in the family’s life is something really special to me.
When reading Mary Pipher’s book, The Middle of Everywhere: Helping Refugees Enter the American Community, I felt worried I would not be able to be as helpful as she was to all of those people. However, I noticed it was the little things she did with the families that made a huge difference sometimes. I can definitely relate to this. We painted nails with the girls one day and this seemed like one of the most exciting things to them. They were running around showing everyone their nails over and over again. We gave a Homes and Garden magazine to the family to use for pictures of common household things. They greatly appreciated this and I can tell they used it to practice. When we took the family’s picture it meant a lot to them. From what I have seen, they do not have any special family belongings like pictures. I remember in the Pipher book that was one of the first things she did with one of the families. Even though it may not seem like much, these things make them happy and grateful for our visits.
Every week I love this experience more than I did the week before. Learning about refugee stories in class and the terrible things most go through makes my family that much more important to me. Although I have not heard their story, I can imagine it would not be the easiest thing to just let strangers into their lives. However, they are some of the most welcoming and warm-hearted people I know. We learn a lot from them as well. They teach us things about where they are from and how different America is for them. I’m always thinking about all the things I want to do with them and the places I want to take them. I’m glad I get to be apart of their new experiences as a family.

Reflection 1
The past year and a half that I have been at Loyola, service has become an increasingly important aspect in my life. I really started making more of a commitment when I joined Loyola4Chicago last spring along with some independent volunteering. I found that volunteering would become a part of my week that I always looked forward to. Now that I can get credit for it, I am really excited for this experience and how I can help impact a family’s life for the better. After the first class and doing some of the reading, I am looking forward to being a person that these people can learn to trust and accept as a friend. This class will give me a chance to challenge my limits and diversify my experiences.
Through Loyola4Chicago we would have reflections through the semester and it made me realize the real significance of my service. It was more than just donating my time; I was building relationships. I would find that the residents at Misericordia and the kids I tutored would be genuinely excited about our visits and greet me with hugs and smiles. I think I will find that it will not be any different with the refugees. I know it may be more difficult with the colliding cultures and language differences, but I am willing to work at it. Through my experiences at Misericordia, I have learned there are more ways to communicate than just talking. I have worked with deaf residents and some that do not have the ability to speak so I am familiar with the “awkward” silence. I think I will be able to further improve my communication skills by working with the refugee family. Being a more reserved person, this is something I want to challenge myself with. Speaking in front of larger groups is definitely one of my biggest weaknesses. I become too self-conscious about what others might be thinking about what I am saying. With kids, I do not have trouble making a fool out of myself if it helps them understand something, but I need to learn to do this in any situation. I need to continue stepping outside of my comfort zone so that I can do more for others and myself.
Opportunities like this class are experiences I want to take full advantage of while attending Loyola. It’s more than just building a resume or getting credits to graduate. I feel like one person really can make a difference. And if there is an entire community at Loyola willing to try, then the possibilities for change increases significantly. This last semester with L4C I tried to branch out what services I could. At work, I tried to get L4C to coordinate an activity to raise money and awareness for the Bannakaroli Brothers and their schools in Uganda. Loyola will actually pay for some of the Brothers to come here and earn their degrees to further improve the education in Uganda when they return. (http://luc.edu/jesuit/brothers/about.shtml). Unfortunately, the idea did not take off with the committee so now I am trying to still work something out but without involving L4C. Likewise, I tried to get L4C involved with the Loyola Refugee Outreach winter drive. Although some things were collected, which is great, it was not as much as I hoped an organization of over 200 hundred could do. I’m always thinking of different things I can do, but never know how to get started with them. I’m guessing others in the class might have similar situations. I think with the support and experience from this class, we will all be able to benefit greatly in expanding the ways we can help others.

Where do we start?

The beginning of any new class, relationship, trip, employment, or experience has always stirred feelings of nervous excitement. Anticipation and curiosity about the new experiences are often heightened as I learn more about the class or person or activity. In this context, the first Monday night Refugee Resettlement class did just that. Both the nervousness and excitement that I was feeling with regards to this class grew as Dr. A discussed his own experiences and the refugee experience in general. I will take the opportunity before meeting my family to reflect on this nervous excitement, my anticipations for this semester, and how I believe this class and the chance to befriend a refugee family will enhance my own experiences as I digest and resettle into life after studying abroad.

The nervous excitement with which I anticipate meeting my family stems from genuine interest and enthusiasm for the opportunity coupled with the unknown. In this situation, there are many unknowns; my family’s experiences, attitudes towards resettlement, level of acceptance of a stranger (myself) into their lives, and potential communication or cultural barriers are all unknown to me. These unknowns elicit strong curiosities, but if I am honest with myself, are also the source of nervousness and fear. I am not afraid to leave the comfort and coziness of the known, but I am nervous. Instead, I think I am afraid that there will be barriers my family and I will not be able to overcome or that my family will not be receptive of my partner and I stepping into their lives. Overall, the fear is insignificant compared to the excitement. The same unknowns that are resulting in nervousness are also sources of challenge and excitement.
I anticipate that the interactions with the family will initially be challenging but will grow to become immensely rewarding experiences. I suspect that both parties will benefit from our partnership, but that perhaps I will benefit in ways I cannot currently imagine. I expect that the first few meetings may be awkward as we try to understand each other’s personalities and perspectives and figure out the nature of our relationships. I also anticipate that I will want to practice Nepali a lot, and it might be challenging to remind myself that English also needs to be practiced. Eventually, I hope we will find a balance of Nepali and English, grow comfortable in each other’s presence, and learn to trust and depend on each other.
I believe that the more I learn about the refugees’ experiences, perspectives, and beliefs, the better I will be able to comprehend my own experiences, perspectives, and beliefs. I think I am still “digesting” my study abroad experiences, and am, in a way, resettling myself. Although I am not under the illusion that my resettlement is comparable to the refugees’, I think that this collaboration will affect me differently than it would if I didn’t feel like I was resettling into life here. I hope that we will be able to help each other through the processes that accompany resettlement.
For each source of anxiety or fear, there are multiple sources of excitement and curiosity. I believe Refugee Resettlement and the partnership with my family will ultimately develop my understanding of others and myself. I think that as a class, we will have so many experiences to share and digest with each other, that it will be near impossible for us to finish the semester unaffected.

Where are we now?

In Behnam Behnia’s 2007 article about befriending programs, “An Exploratory Study of Befriending Programs with Refugees: The Perspective of Volunteer Organizations”, Behnia highlights the multifaceted role of the befriender in their interactions with refugees. Befrienders are able to offer emotional, mental, educational, and social support as well as friendship and conversation to refugees. In return, befrienders often receive unquantifiable benefits and insights through their relationships with refugees. In the context of a month long relationship with the Lama family and slightly longer Refugee Resettlement classroom experience, I would like to reflect on my own experiences as a befriender. What aspects of our interactions are similar to Mary Pipher’s relationship depicted in The Middle of Everywhere: Helping Refugees Enter the American Community? How does the role I am currently playing compare to the one I anticipated prior to meeting the Lama family? And, a month into our relationship, where are we now?
At first, the many roles and responsibilities of the befriender appeared immense yet intricate; Behnia’s lists of the many forms of support befrienders offer and the aspects that make programs successful or not, the cross-cultural considerations we discussed in class, and Pipher’s refugee stories are overwhelming when taken into consideration simultaneously. After spending a month with the Lama family, I have decided that, while overwhelming at times, being a befriender can be boiled down to simply being a friend. That seems implicit in the name, but after reading discourse on befriending programs and learning about the intense process refugees endure while becoming officially documented and recognized, interviewed, background checked, transported, and resettled, it’s easy to assume nothing about refugees is simple. But as Mary Pipher illustrated, befriending can be as simple as smiling, being present, listening, and doing what you can with what you have. Like Pipher, I have learned that refugees appreciate these small things; often their requests are not huge demands, although they are certainly in positions to make large demands. As I practice the alphabet with 7 year olds and 47 year olds and teach Hari how to retrieve his voicemails, I realize that I am exactly where I ought to be.
I anticipated that I would highly enjoy the role of a befriender, but I had no idea the extent to which I would benefit from our relationship. I was initially fearful that Nathan and I would struggle to “fill up” three hours. Ha. Three hours pass easily and I get the feeling that we aren’t the “entertainers” I thought we were expected to be. Rather, the Lama family entertains and caters to us. The exchange of knowledge and compassion is certainly mutual. This is entirely opposite of what I had anticipated. While my list is considerably shorter than Mary Pipher’s, the many small things the Lamas and I are teaching each other surprise me. Pipher fills a few pages with little, and some not so little, things she has taught refugees throughout her experiences as a befriender. I first was doubtful that I would have much to teach my family and thought Pipher’s list to be somewhat exaggerated. After discussing libraries, the internet, the alphabet, Valentine’s Day, Abraham Lincoln, pioneers, techno music, oxygen tanks, fingerprints, and megabuses, I have realized I possess a lot more information than I realized. I also realized there are many things about which I know surprisingly little; when I am attentive, the Lamas have much to teach me.
So, where are we now? Well, I believe it is hard to accurately gauge the extent to which having a befriender is affecting the Lamas after one month. I think that, for the most part, the Lamas appreciate Nathan and myself. It seems that many aspects of our relationship are positive; homework help, interview practice, job opportunities, and stomachs to feed are the “services” we are able to provide to the Lamas. At this stage, my ability to converse in Nepali with them seems positive, but I can see how it may generate dependence on Nepali and reluctance to speak in English in the future. However, I think that through Nepali, they have placed more trust and confidence in me. I view their ability to trust and confide in someone outside of the Bhutanese community as a positive step in adjusting to Chicago. Our ability to trust, laugh, and sit in silence with each other reflects what I interpret to be a beneficial relationship. Recently, the Lamas inquired as to who paid me for the time I spend with them; they were very surprised to find that I spent time with them because I wanted to, not because of a financial incentive. They immediately thanked me. I think this answers the question, “where are we?” We are thankful for each other.
Thus far, I have learned that befriending is complex when one makes it complex, simple when it is viewed as the role of being a friend. Discourse and analysis of befriending programs may help show which befriending approaches are more comprehensive and sustainable, but it is important that there will be no one approach that works equally well in all situations. Relationships with refugees, like all relationships, are dynamic, a point that I believe Mary Pipher articulates well. Upon accepting the dynamism inherent in the interactions of a befriender, I was able to acknowledge that my attitude towards this relationship has changed. Likewise, what is benefitting the Lamas now may change, and Nathan and I will need to adjust. We will eventually move beyond Valentine’s Day and the alphabet and on to who knows what. At this stage, where we are seems to be exactly where we need to be.

Where do we go?

In just a little over three months, my understanding of what it means to be a refugee in the context of a refugee resettlement program within the United States has changed tremendously. My perception of refugees has developed since early January when I was first introduced to the Lamas. My interactions with the family, refugee resettlement workers, and fellow befrienders, enhanced by resettlement literature such as David Haine’s Safe Haven, have allowed me to consider ways in which resettlement procedures might be altered. Based on my experiences, I offer a comparison between the goals of those who dictate resettlement procedures and those who are themselves being resettled. Analysis of the corresponding differences contributes to discussions of the efficacy of resettlement legislation and VolAgs, suggestions for future development, and at least a partial response to the question “where do we go from here?”
My initial perceptions cast refugees in a simple, victimized light. Until my interactions with and study of refugees, I tended to lump refugees into a single “victim” category, characterized by shared traumatic experiences, loss of home, lack of English, and confronted with the immense of challenge of sorting out and surviving in American culture. In many ways, refugee resettlement policies are decided and written from the same perspective. Diversity among refugees is ignored; “successful” resettlement, defined by English acquisition and economic self-sufficiency in the context of resettlement policy goals, does not encompass the multitude of skills and experiences refugees posses. As Haines points out, and my own experiences have taught me, each refugee case is unique and dynamic, and the emphasis on successful resettlement dictated by English learning and economic self-sufficiency negates the complexity of each story and should be questioned.
I concluded my second reflection paper by focusing on the dynamism of my family and the thought that the nature of our relationship as well as what is most beneficial for the Lamas will change. After discussions with my classmates, I have learned that each of our families face different challenges, possess different skills, and are at different stages in their resettlement process. Some bring years of professional experience, others were not legally able to work in their refugee camp. Some have high levels of English proficiency, others have never been to school and do not know written forms of their native languages, much less English. Some have wide networks of family members and fellow countrymen, people who share common ethnic and cultural backgrounds and have already established a transitional community in the United States. Still others are the first to be resettled from their population and have access to no such network for advice, support, or companionship. Adding to the complexity, each refugee responds to resettlement in their own way and adapts at their own pace. Thus, lumping refugees into a single category and establishing the same goals for all inevitably isolates many and inherently sets others up for failure. Current resettlement policy is written with a “one size fits all” perception that I believe is negligent and ineffective.
VolAgs are contractually obligated to fulfill duties specified by resettlement policies. Their designated duties are surprisingly minimal and the funding they receive to perform said duties is extremely limited. Not only are VolAgs confronted with financial limitations, they also are faced with the reality that the services they are obligated to provide for each refugee are less than comprehensive. Additionally, the obligatory services are based off the assumption that refugees comprise a single, homogenous category with similar needs and challenges. I believe that for truly successful resettlement, policies and VolAgs must recognize that there are multiple manifestations of success within refugee resettlement. Policies must be written with the knowledge that each refugee case is distinct and dynamic, what refugees need in their first month differs from what they need in their fifth. VolAgs too must recognize the need for specialized plans for each refugee and take into consideration the diversity among refugee populations and within families. While many VolAgs are already aware of the complexity of resettlement and the need to provide additional services beyond the contracts, further improvements could be made with increased attention towards differences and the acknowledgement that the goals of English acquisition and rapid economic self-sufficiency should be neither the primary nor only goals for all refugees.
Refugees have diverse backgrounds, practices, skills, and needs and their stories are inherently complex. Therefore, resettlement policies and VolAgs must incorporate multiple strategies and approaches for resettlement. I have learned that the challenges the Lamas faced upon arrival are different than the challenges they currently face, four months later; the services that are most beneficial for them have also changed. Resettlement policy could be improved significantly if the dynamism of refugees as individuals were used as the basis for understanding and structuring resettlement. To provide a simplified answer, I believe that wherever we go from here, it is essential that refugees are approached and acknowledged as individuals. From there, there is no single path or improvement, rather multiple and diverse strategies for resettlement.

I find it powerful that America is referred to as a “safe haven” for many refugees around the world.  It’s often depicted as a land of opportunities that has its arms wide open for those that are seeking refuge. However, there are many faults in the refugee resettlement program that are not exactly easy to extract at face value but are increasingly being exposed.  In Haines’ book, “Safe Haven”, he describes the statistics on refugees, immigration and policies alongside American institutions and attitudes towards the conflict.  Haines addresses these issues blatantly stating that ambiguities in our system and relationships with these refugees leads to “conflicting humanitarian and self motivations” (xii).

Over the course of the semester, we have actively volunteered with refugee families in the community and begun to analyze the refugee resettlement and immigration system of America.  Partaking in both aspects of this course supports our understanding of policies as we directly work with families whom they affect.  Like Haines, non-profit organizations such as Catholic Charities and JRS (Jesuit Refugee Services) which are prevalent around the world understand that there are two sides to their line of work.  With many volunteers and a large dedicated staff, many families from different countries are resettled into their new and foreign homes.  However, these organizations are faced with limitations which do not fully aid their desired support.  For instance, the stipend they are given to resettle their families is tight which restricts them on the amount of help they can offer their families whether this be in terms of education or general assistance needed when moving into an unfamiliar place.  In addition, the frequent language barrier between volunteers/caseworkers and the refugees places another obstacle in the way.  This alone puts a few bumps in the relocation process.
Given that, I believe that there are a couple areas that the US can help to further aid refugee resettlement.  Although this may only scratch the surface, one of the biggest flaws of the system is the time allotted for hands on assistance (mainly by caseworkers and mostly due to small stipends).  These organizations are given money to resettle families within a certain time period, this includes the purchasing of necessities, traveling and housing.  In addition, the refugees themselves are expected to be fully independent and capable within their community after a short span of a few months.  Through these policies, it can be said that there have been some misconceptions and misunderstandings about refugees. To begin, a majority of Americans may feel that they alter the economy with the worse with “poor skills” or “language barriers”.  I believe that these generalizations are rather brash and reflect misunderstanding.  Many refugees that have been relocated to America for example have had careers as lawyers, engineers and others in their home countries.  However, the restrictions and qualifications of many countries do not align completely, leaving these immigrants out of their element.  Assumptions are then made and tensions are further fueled.  On the other hand, these refugees can also be seen as a positive source of diversity to communities.  With a struggling economy, large groups of immigrants are capable of boosting the economy by utilizing unique skills or satisfying their unique tastes!  Not only do their personal preferrences boost these communities in need, they add diversity and a new burst of culture to their new homes.  This alone is a great way to help educate others foreign to their homelands or traditions/cultures.  I personally believe that it is important for more diversity such as this for our generations and the ones to follow.  Hopefully then, we will be able to shrink the language (as well as other cultural) barriers and expand on new ties.  In regards to Volags, resettlement/immigration efforts can definitely be improved if these families were given more time and guidance.  It is vague but through hands on volunteering, it is impossible to ignore the fact that these refugees are eager to learn, especially generous people and are just trying to settle into their new homes.  The best way to go about this and improve the system is to educate and reach out!

Paper 1

“The Enlightenment of an Ignorant Fool”

In the beginning of Mary Pipher’s The Middle of Everywhere: Helping Refugees Enter the American Community, Pipher describes her childhood home as a secluded town, where she dreamed of exploring the world around her. With that description, Pipher connects the readers through their “secluded” surroundings, where one is focused on the dream of getting out of the hometown and exploring the outside world. When I was younger, I often dreamed of leaving my “secluded” hometown and exploring the vastness of the world, and when I became a bit older, I did move from the secluded town of a few thousand to a city of a few million. Yet, when I moved, I became aware of the many different groups that migrated to the United States, and the types of problems that these people were escaping from. In most situations, I do not give a single afterthought as to how the people accumulate to American life. Most of the time, I usually believe that they will be fine in America because in America if one works hard enough, one can usually adapt well enough into American society. However, due to Pipher’s readings, I now realize that I was completely ignorant of the plight of the refugee (and the amount of cultural problems that they deal) and that my ignorance greatly hampered my ability to understand the problems of a refugee.

In America, most people are not forced to leave their homes due to persecution, and they do not have to deal with a completely new social construct. Many Americans do not grow up with the constant threat of starvation and war; instead, most Americans grow up with the ideals of opportunity and freedom. Therefore, many Americans are accustomed to a completely different system when compared to a refugee’s idea of society. In Pipher’s second chapter, she introduces the readers to two Iraqi sisters (Shireen and Meena), who came from a family of ten children (25). Originally, their family was in the upper social class of Iraq, but then Saddam Hussein came into power and everything changed for their family. Essentially, through their extremely long journey, these sisters experienced several different societies, in which they were treated as high-class women to the lowest members of society (i.e., the transition from Iraqi upper class to the refugee status in the Iranian camp). Eventually, their family comes to America, and the move is another social shock because the girls are no longer subjected to the will of men, and they are allowed some type of social freedom, which was denied to them for quite some time. From all of the experiences that Pipher highlights, I simply do not think I would have survived the ordeal that the sister went through. I cannot imagine the fear of the night where someone would try and steal all of the possession, nor can I imagine the subjection to a male society where a woman does not have a voice. Even further on into the book, Pipher illustrates the type of depression that is experienced by many of the refugees, and the pain experienced by some of those people is just unreal.

Even though America is the “land of the free and home of the brave,” America cannot take away the pain that is experienced by many refugees. Throughout the book, those painful stories remind the audience that while refugees are often overlooked, their pain affects them daily. Many refugees often have a hard time accumulating to a new world because they are often confronted with problems of changing cultures. Upon arrival, Pipher argues that refugees are slammed with problems that can be very difficult for them to handle on their own. Through the story of Linh, Pipher illustrates the struggle and the problems that she faced once she got to America. While Linh’s story does deal the pressures of accumulating to the American culture, it also deals with the added pressure of her family. Her family came to America for the sole purpose of her education, and they expect her to do well enough so that she may support them. I do not think I would have a problem accumulating to the culture, but what I could not handle is the pressure from her family. Her family is constantly reminding her of their sacrifice, and through that pressure, Linh succumbs to depression. The interesting feature of her story is the fact that a teenage girl has the weight of the world on her shoulders, and the only person really helping her through this mess is Pipher. The one aspect I do not understand in this story is the issue of her family, and why they are putting that amount of pressure on a teenage girl.

In conclusion, the plight of the refugee is more than just the social and economic issues, but rather the refugees must also overcome emotional issues as well. In both of the stories, the young women had to deal with family issues that often impacted their lives, and all of the girls had to support their families in some way. Ultimately, the refugee’s journey is one that is not alone, but rather it is depended on a lot of people.

Final Reflection

The experience of working with refugees has been wonderfully meaningful. Not many people are knowledgeable about refugees, let alone have the opportunity to assist in their transition to life in the United States. After going through this course and gaining a great deal of knowledge about the process refugees go through and the struggles they face, I can now see that I have had some misconceptions about refugees. These misconceptions are incredibly prevalent in the US because of the lack of understanding. In addition to this there are also improvements that the US could make in order to better refugee resettlement.
One of the misconceptions I had about refugees was the notion of them only existed in modern times. This is not at all the case, and realizing that has allowed to me further understand the history of refugees in the US and the world. I had always thought that refugees only existed because of recent wars and conflicts, for some reason I never realized that basically for as long as there has been human conflict there have been refugees. They may not have been labeled, “refugees”, but they certainly met all of the criteria. Such as, the Native Americans forcibly removed from their lands in 1830 through the Indian Removal Act. Even before this there were instances of refugees both aided and created by governments. Another instance in which I never realized the people involved were considered refugees was during the Holocaust. In Safe Haven by David Haines, he discusses the voyage of the St. Luis in which German Jews fleeing Nazi regime were denied access into the United States and other countries (Haines 2). This is an excellent example of time in which not only were people seeking refuge but they were discriminated against because of it. The truth is that there have always been people seeking refuge due to horrific circumstances. If better practices had been put in place during WWII, or prior, maybe things would be different now and refugees would more widely accepted.
The idea that all refugees were destitute their entire lives in their native countries, was a misunderstanding I had. However, one of the first things we learned in class was that the opposite of this was actually true. It is very common for refugees to have been a part the middle and upper class, some even holding advanced degrees such in law or medicine. Learning made me aware of another struggle refugees go through, which is being able to come to terms with the fact that their professional life may never be the same again. Instead of being a lawyer they may have to work as a janitor because of inability to transfer credentials or language skills. I can’t imagine the extra stress this puts on a person.
This goes along with another misconception, that I did not personally have, but I have heard numerous. This is that refugees are dirty and lazy. Visiting my family has reassured my belief that this couldn’t be further from the truth. As discussed in class this notion comes from differences in cultures that are misunderstood. In addition to the misunderstanding, the idea that refugees are competition for Americans also perpetuates these negative stereotypes. Haines lists economic competition and conflict over limited resources as sources for negative perceptions of refugees (Haines 58). I think that this may be something Volags could help to change. By spreading awareness about refugees, and everything that title entails, it t could lead to a better understanding and a decrease in misconceptions and negative stereotypes. I know that Volags already do more than they are budgeted for but the outcome of a decrease in ignorance could be incredibly beneficial in the long run.
There are also some other improvements that Volags could make to possibly aid in bettering the refugee resettlement program. One is allowing for more all-inclusive help. The federal guidelines state that a requirement of Volags is to help refugees to access a Social Security card and public assistance. But Marie Jochum, MSW at Catholic Charities said that all that means is that they need to tell them where it is. If they were required to have someone physically go with them, this would greatly help with the anxiety and fears felt by refugees. I know that the goal is self-sustainability in just a few weeks but maybe taking smaller steps toward it would have a better outcome.
Another improvement would be to help refugees find ESL classes that truly fit their schedule and lifestyle. Once again one of the requirements is just to assist in enrollment in ESL classes. Once again, it is possible that requiring an in-depth consultation to determine the best time and place for these classes may lead to better language skills. This is just one of the problems Haines suggest with the refugee program because the English competence program as a goal has an unknown ultimate economic effect (Haines 163). Maybe a reason for this is due to the ineffectiveness of ESL programs and a lack of knowledge of others that exist. This was actually a problem in my partner and I’s family in that the mom was only able to attend a less than half of her class each meeting due to scheduling conflict. Also she was having a difficult time because the teacher was new every week and sometimes gave incredibly difficult work. She now found another program that is better suited for her. However, had she had help in finding a more appropriate program from the start she could have significantly better English skills.
A way for Volags to aid with problems like these would be to have a requirement of an increased number of home visits. This would be difficult because funding is so limited already but if there was a way for them to allow for this I think it could alleviate many of the fears and misunderstandings that the refugees struggle with. This could even prevent future problems from occurring because they would have constant support of their Volag.
At the forefront of refugee resettlement, Volags have the power to increase public awareness and assist in refugees’ transition to life in America. Volags do a lot of great things but there is also a lot they could change. In addition to the possible changes Volags could make are the misconceptions that are prevalent in our society. As a student of Anthropology I am even guilty of having misconceptions about refugees. However, I have gained an extensive amount of knowledge about refugees and feel that my misconceptions are gone. When I think about the small amount I knew before this class I can’t help but understand the reasons for such negative stereotypes, and that is lack of knowledge.

Befriending

An essential aspect of refugee resettlement is befriending work. Typically befriending includes volunteers who act as a friend and offer support and friendship for a period of time. Along with this befrienders help to prevent society from rejecting refugees and facilitate their integration into society (Behnia 4). Without someone befriending them it would most likely be much more difficult for refugees to feel comfortable in the US. In my experience so far in this class befriending seems to play a very important role in the family’s transition to life in the US. However, with befriending work comes some limitations.
One of aspects of befriending that is most important and most likely to have issues arise with it is helping the family to learn English. This is essential for them to be able to obtain a job, communicate with others, and generally be successful in the US. As my partner and I were preparing to leave after our first visit with the family the mother asked us, through her somewhat English speaking son, if we would her teach English. Her two older sons and husband speak English fairly well but she does not. They explained to us that the ESL classes the mom was enrolled in had a different instructor each time and it wasn’t helping her very much. A strong and supportive family dynamic was apparent even during this first visit, as much all the family members wanted to learn English for themselves, and wanted their family members to learn as well. Mary Pipher brings up the importance of a strong family structure amongst refugees with her “A bundle of sticks cannot be broken” demonstration (Pipher 229). If they not have each other for support they will have a much more difficult time having a successful transition. Working with a family that has a supportive nature has been of great assistance in our befriending work. Since the sons and husband speak English we are able to look to them if the mom doesn’t understand what we are saying. If they had a more individual centered dynamic we might not have them to help us make teaching the mom English as beneficial to her as possible.
It would be of great assistance to speak Persian but unfortunately neither my partner nor I do. With this language barrier comes some apprehension on my part because it has been difficult. This topic is discussed in Behman Behnia’s article, An Exploratory Study of Befriending Programs with Refugees. A section focuses on volunteers and it states that the differences between volunteers and refugees could discourage refugees from continuing their befriending work (Behnia 6). I can see how this is possible as it can be frustrating at times when a miscommunication occurs, and I am not sure how to explain something in a better way. In the case of this particular family I am lucky because they do have a basic understanding of English and are able to help their mother as well.
In addition to the language limitations came some definite hesitations for me especially on my first visit. Behnia brings up these same hesitations. “With regard to volunteer work with refugees it is reported that ‘it is quite common for volunteers to feel anxiety about what to expect, how to react, whether they are really able to help, etc.’”( Behnia 5). These were all feelings I had prior to the first meeting. I think they can hinder befriending work in that they make you second guess almost everything you say and do. After visiting them four times those hesitations are significantly lessened. I feel like this allows our interactions to have a greater impact on both me and the family. Of course there is still the fear of offending them or saying something that triggers a traumatic memory. This is also discussed in Behnia’s article. He shares the story of a refugee that became distraught after seeing a car seat in her volunteer’s car because she had lost her child (Behnia 12). While this is an extreme example I do think it is important to be relatively careful with the types of questions we ask the family. It would be awful to say something that negatively impacts them, and in turn negatively impacts the befriending work. I have noticed that after a few visits the family is becoming more comfortable with us. The last time we were there the middle son explained more to us about where the family had lived in the past and that they had to flee Iran due to persecution. It seems like since we help him with his homework he knows that we are there to support him, this shows the importance of befriending. He knows that he can rely on us to help him with homework and this in turn makes him feel more comfortable sharing personal stories.
I had expected that more would come out about their past sooner than the fourth visit but it is interesting to see that there is a trust that is being built between us. Being reliable on the times we arrive plays a part in this as the past few times we’ve gone the mom has been excited and ready to practice English. This has surpassed my expectations because her English has improved significantly over the past month. She was even enthusiastic about getting a library card so she could read more. The other members of the family have cards already so I think by asking her if she would like to get one, it helped to further reinforce that we are there to help her transition, as well as the rest of the family. It is difficult to not feel some concern for family since this is their third month in the US and the father has still not found a job. As discussed in class refugees typically only receive four months of financial support from their agencies. However, the family seems rather relaxed and hopeful that he will find a job soon.
Surprisingly, it has already become apparent that befriending work is of great importance in a refugee’s transition to the US. Despite its great importance there are some inevitable limitations. However, it is necessary for volunteers to work through those limitations as best they can in order to make befriending meaningful for refugees. The impact befriending has is seen in The Middle of Everywhere by Mary Pipher and An Exploratory Study of Befriending Programs with Refugees by Behnam Behnia, as well as my own experiences with an Afghani refugee family. In witnessing befriending work first hand I look forward to seeing the impact it has on the family’s transition to life in the US and how I am impacted by it.

Refugee Resettlement Reflection 1

In beginning this course I am really not sure what to expect. It seems as though it will be a very interesting and beneficial experience. I think that this course will help me to learn a lot in that we will discuss issues related to refugee resettlement and get to have first hand experiences with a family that is currently experiencing those situations and issues. In addition, we will be discussing our experiences in class which is also something I am looking forward to, because we will get to see how refugees from different places transition in their own ways and the different topics that come up in each family. However, I am definitely nervous about meeting the family for the first time for a few different reasons.
Being a refugee must be an incredibly difficult and traumatic experience for many different reasons and this is one of the reasons I am a bit nervous. The fact that I know I will not be familiar with the language they speak is the main thing that brings about some hesitation. I can see how this could become frustrating for both us and the family. Also, I think that this language barrier is probably one of the main struggles and causes of problems for them in coming to the US. In the prelude of Mary Pipher’s book, The Middle of Everywhere, she discusses an instance in which a man was misunderstood and put on a train to Texas instead of pointed in the right direction of a street located in New York City. I’m sure that things like this happen very often to refugees and that is both scary and confusing. I’m nervous about not being able to understand what someone says or answering them in a way that that they can’t understand. However, I think along with this comes being able to help them avoid situations like the one described in Pipher’s book. This can be accomplished not only through helping them learn English but also in helping them to become accustomed to American culture. From the first class it seems like helping them to learn English fairly often so it is quite possible that we will be helping them to avoid confusing situations.
Another fear is misunderstanding someone or saying something that is taken offensively. There is a part of Pipher’s book in which she describes a cab driver who was a school administrator in Nigeria but fled the country (Pipher 8). I think that keeping in mind that refugees come from all different backgrounds is crucial. This is also another aspect that can play a part in their adjustment to being in this country. For example if someone was a nurse in their country once they arrive here they most likely will not be able to be nurse because of the language barrier and their lack of credentials. Remembering that someone might be going through a situation like this is really essential in that it could have a great impact on their emotional state as well as their ability to adjust. I think if someone is struggling greatly with their new life here, this cause is important to keep in mind, in that it could be playing a larger role than the person realizes. While we personally may not be able to help them through this, if we are able to identify it we would be able to let others, who are able to help them, know.
Despite my concerns, I am very much looking forward to meeting the family I will be visiting and working with each week. I think that this class has the potential to be one of the most impacting classes the Anthropology major has to offer. We are able to meet people from cultures we most likely would never come in contact with and help them in their transition to life in the US. Also, I think it will be informative to learn about the problems refugees face prior to visiting them in the hopes of being prepared to help them if they share something with us. I think that being able to discuss our experiences in class will be of great help in gaining the most we possibly can from this class.

Reflection 1: Let’s Begin

I was privileged to be born in a country free from civil war, religious oppression, and where I have the freedom to make my own decisions.  I don’t wake up in the morning worried that I won’t be able to have food or that I am being chased, and I don’t go to bed at night afraid that I won’t wake up in the morning.  I have little in common with the 649,500 refugees who live in America and the Caribbean, currently (Refugees).  They come from around the world, places I have seen pictures of, heard stories of, but can’t possibly understand.  The trials they have left behind are unfathomable to my North American brain.  In all of this difference and lack of commonality, I find myself at a cross roads with a small piece of this large group.  We are here, in Chicago.  I moved here 17 months ago, they just arrived.  Both new to this culture, though mine is largely similar and theirs vastly different, we are able to converge at this point.

Loyola University Chicago is in Rogers Park, the most diverse neighborhood in Chicago, IL.  A place where I can see the world by walking down the street.  I can walk two blocks to eat Ethiopian food.  Or I can walk four more blocks and feast at a Pakistani restaurant.  I see women dressed with head coverings buying groceries next to meet at the local market.  The culture that this school is placed in is rich, it is full of people with stories, histories, and dreams.  However, I don’t know these people.  Trapped in the ‘Loyola Bubble’, there is a divide.  And as an excuse, I stay inside this few block radius, with my middle class peers, safe from something?

The summer before I started my time at Loyola, I worked at a summer day camp in Shakopee, MN.  A suburb of the Twin Cities, Shakopee has a large population of first generation Mexican-Americans.  The camp I worked at catered to this population.  I rode the bus every day to pick up the kids from three trailer parks where their parents would meet me, asking me questions in their native tongue, Spanish.  Thrown into this mix, I found myself feeling as though I were the outsider.  I didn’t understand the culture, I struggled to communicate, and at times the food was unrecognizable (and fire-hot).  Living in this community I learned that this is how the kids and families felt most days.  They were living in a foreign land, where most things were out of their ordinary.  The oldest child in the family had the responsibility of being the liaison: speaking the new language, communicating the ideas of the culture, connecting the family to their new home.  I got to color in coloring books and play soccer with these kids, they let me into their world for a brief period of time – but are still on my heart today.

My second semester at Loyola, I was blessed with the opportunity to work with students at Centro Romero, a “community-based organization that serves the refugee immigrant population on the northeast side of Chicago”.  I was in a group with Loyola4Chicago that worked with citizenship students, helping them to learn about the country that we live in.  I celebrated with them as one-by-one they earned their citizenship, Sergio was my first student, he passed.

During my second finals week at Loyola I, with a group of my peers, welcomed a Nepalese family to this country.  We gathered together furniture, dishes and cleaning supplies, moved in their house and smiled as they walked into the door.  The day that we moved them in was a bit of a blur to me: it involved frantic carrying of items and a sudden introduction to a family that didn’t speak my native language.  And as I stood trying to show the family the home in which they would be living, all I could do was think about how their lives had been leading to this moment and now they would transition entirely.  I had moved before, I knew what it was like to live in a new place.

These paragraphs may seem disjointed, but they together form my desire, my yearning, to learn more about this segment of the population with which I have had little contact.  Now living in this country where life-threatening situations are no longer at hand, a whole new basket of trials and hurdles stands in the way.  I believe in America, and that it is a land where people can think individual thoughts, where they can learn and grow, dream and succeed.  This is the land of opportunity, that’s how I am blessed to be at this University and why I am able to say that God is the one who put this drive inside my heart.  I can’t wait to learn more, to get to know my neighbors and to simply show love to people who have been shown very little.

Reflection 2: Learning from the Family

            Behnam Behnia in his article, An Exploratory Study of Befriending Programs with Refugees, discusses the complicated process of finding people who are interested in befriending and building community with these newly arrived members of society, refugees. Organizations go through quite a process to find persons willing to welcome in refugees, help them to learn about our culture and all that entails. This opportunity is a heavy responsibility, as it involves a family’s hope to succeed in this new environment. Behnia is convinced that it takes a community of support to be successful in this new country (p. 2), and at times that may involve the family and friends of the refugee family. However it also may involve an outside resource that can help the family become more acclimated with the city, people and environment that the family finds itself in.

As I have come to know the family, I am more convinced of the practical need of an outside resource the longer I spend. During my most recent visit with the family, the two youngest children had just gotten back from the Emergency Room because they had felt under the weather and their mother did not know what else to do. The Emergency Room of course gave the mother, Noaisha, discharge papers for the two children, which included a few prescriptions for medication. As I entered the apartment that evening I was handed the entire stack of papers, seeing that Noaisha did not know what to do with any of them, and helped her to understand that the papers were for medications, which she proceeded to go to the pharmacy and purchase. In this way, I was very much able to see my practical assistance, just as when I help the kids with homework and teach them words such as ‘scary’ and ‘sound’. The family is still new to the country, and learning the basic essentials for daily life, I can hope to aid them as they endeavor to learn this new way of life and thinking.

DeLuca talked about a new kind of befriender in her article, the humanitarian who seeks to have a spirit of generosity and love, rather than obligation. As I further my time with my family I begin to realize that my heart is growing for them and it is not simply a school assignment any more, but that I look forward to the times which I can spend with them. When I spent time with the family this past weekend, they shared a meal with me, pouring out their hearts and inviting me to get to know them better. However, over this meal of extreme spice and delicious fruit, we struggled to keep conversation alive, making it all the more apparent to me that this family is still new to the country and still very much in need of my assistance. I don’t feel pity for the family as much as I simply feel compassion. I love to laugh with the family, when Shokur broke out into his Gangnam Style dance, I laughed along with his mother and sister. I love to have girl-bonding time with Nur Laila, when she gave me henna and did my make up. I love to help the family learn this language that I claim as my own, teaching Nur Laila her vocabulary lessons, she and talk about princesses and she shows me a tiara that her sister gave her in Malaysia before leaving. I believe that these situations are not only opening my eyes to this family and their culture, but is also greatly benefiting them. While we interact, they are able to work on their English skills and learn what it means to be around people that have grown up differently than they have. They have begun to feel comfortable around ‘different people’. As an expectation I assumed that the family would be closed off to the idea of growing in a new culture, especially the parents who have been portrayed to me as people who stay in their houses and don’t want to get to know the new culture. This has not been my case. I have been able to watch as the mother strives to learn more and more about the US, Chicago, and mainly Rogers Park. She consistently goes to night classes and studies in a notebook every single word she can get her hands on, lists of vocabulary. As she feeds us, she asks the word for sauce and bowl.

I can however see some limitations within the program of befriending. For instance, I know that when I ask Nur Laila where her math homework is and she responds with a, yes, I am forced to recognize that most of our conversations are still entirely limited. That when I try to describe words to her, or explain a story that was assigned as homework, I must act it out: pointing to the sky outside to relate the word for cloud, jumping up and down to express the idea of bounce. I struggle to be able to talk about anything other than these simple lessons with the family, because such little English can be spoken that conversations about their feelings and experiences are impossible.

Despite the struggle in communication, though, I maintain hope. Every time that I see my family their English has gotten better. I am encouraged in the way that each individual is so focused on the same goal of learning the language and succeeding in their daily lives of school and work. I find that I am able to assist them along in this journey: through the explanation of medical prescriptions, through the words of encouragement, through simply being a new face that represents this new country that can be joyful and happy in the midst of daily struggle and many obstacles. I can see it on the faces of the family as my partner and I enter the room that our arrival has long been awaited and that there are many questions and laughs that await us. I cannot wait to continue to explore what it means to be in this family’s lives and to grow with them. I have learned that being a befriender fuels and feeds me, and I love the knowledge and understanding that I gain through each experience with the family.

Reflection 3: What I Have Learned

            In the three months that I have spent with the family, I have learned a great deal not only about their immediate family but also about the greater system of refugee resettlement in the United States. David W. Haines writes about many of the different perspectives of this system in his book, Safe Haven? A History of Refugees in America. His discussion dives through many of the different pools of the system, and creates a wonderful layout in which I may discuss my experiences.

Haines begins by discussing the relationship between America and refugees, as it has existed in the past. Though this does not cross my experiences with the family as much, it does touch on the knowledge I gained through class discussions and events put on by my peers. The US in the past has not done the best job of taking care of the people that it admits into the country. Chapters one and six both touch on this subject. The US enters so many people for a variety of reasons, some of which entirely selfish, and then creates standards for the people who have entered that are nearly unattainable. The government says that in 90 days a family should be self sufficient, however I have watched my personal family who has now been here for over four months (at least 120 days) and the parents do not even have the basic English skills they would need in order to succeed in the this culture. The mother in my family is going to full time English classes starting today for the first time, and I am unsure as to why it has taken her this long to get into them. Today I taught her the words spoon and far, along with almost 30 others.

This is where I will turn in my paper to the experiences of the refugees upon arrival, covered by Haines in chapter two. When they first arrive, families are given the bare minimum for survival. Barely even enough money to feed the family, let alone for things such as clothing or health needs. They are thrust into the society, left to the responsibility of Volags. Volags have guidelines, which are sub-sustaining for the families at best. However Volags go above and beyond, I have had the honor of working with Catholic Charities who continue to do more for their families than is required. I also believe in the vital importance of the befriender, which is me. I don’t mean to sound conceited, I have seen first hand how the befriender can save a family hundreds of dollars from a scandal; how she can teach a family the language, walking them through each word step-by-step. Volags also tend to stay with the family, especially with their work in job placement, past the expected time. However, they are entirely underfunded and see that they cannot help families in the ways that they should be able to, due to lack of funding. How frustrating for these hardworking people to watch similarly hardworking people fail to succeed because of our government’s lack of heart. I believe that Volags allow us to see this population as more than just a cause or a spreadsheet of numbers. Volags humanize this group, and are important for that reason.

Haines spends an entire chapter unpacking the lack of call to action that the media induces when writing about the refugee population. The media shows them as a sympathy case, however it does not excite the population into action. Refugees have become a story to read about, and I have to say that the family that I work with is not a story- they are people to be interacted with. I came into this semester being open to learn, but having no understanding of the people I wanted to learn from. I misunderstood what it meant to be a befriender, more than anything the family simply wanted someone to help them learn how to survive in America on a practical level, someone who would walk with them in their first few months. The basic-ness of this friendship may seem frivolous to some, but when a person enters a new culture, with no knowledge of cultural norms or the language and without any friends, the prospect of achieving in this foreign land seems overwhelming.

Volags truly are the heart and bloodline that feeds the refugee population to succeed where they are. The US should put more money into this part of their process, so that all of those they desire to welcome into the country might be able to succeed. I am so grateful that I have had the last three months to be able to grow with my family, having the opportunity to learn from them and also aid them in their journey. It has truly been a privilege.

Works Cited

“About: Mission.” Centro Romero. N.p., 2012. Web. 21 Jan. 2013.

Haines, David W. Safe Haven?: A History of Refugees in America. Sterling, VA: Kumarian, 2010. Print.

“Refugees: A Fact Sheet.” Immigration Policy Center. N.p., n.d. Web. 21 Jan. 2013.

“Pre-Service Reflection”

Loyola University requires its students to take a civic engagement course. This is a course that is quite different than the average lecture based class that depends on three exam scores. The goal of a civic engagement course is to make students think outside of the classroom. After graduation, students are going to enter the real world. A world without the shelter of a dorm room, a professor to answer to, or a syllabus to schedule their time by. This type of course is implemented into Loyola’s CORE requirements because it forces students to apply knowledge that may not correspond to their major and to have new experiences with the world around them.
Thankfully Loyola offers Refugee Resettlement because it seems like the perfect way not to fulfill the civic engagement requirement, but to be able to mature and grow an understanding of the people in the areas surrounding this establishment. Attending college is a privilege many americans have the opportunity to experience, while just outside its borders are families who haven’t been given the opportunity to even be in any school until recently. It is wonderful that the United States takes responsibility for more than a handful of refugees, but it is a shame that they do not follow through on their new residents. Being relocated from their home and into an unknown place is all the refugees know. In America, however, they are not able to communicate effectively to those around them and they are not able to be functioning beings with society. They need assistance every step of the way. A simple guide would help them in the more ways than one. It is great that this course allows us to do just that.
As I learned in class, these families want to have a feeling of belonging. They want to be accepted in their new society, which hopefully they will call their home. The refugees want to know the american lifestyle and we, as students and american citizens, have the ability to teach them. I do not have experience in working with refugee families, but I am aware that interacting with them will require dedication and patience. Showing them the “basics” of the american way will be a little difficult because what we think of as the norm we may think is the norm to everyone in the world. We will have to think carefully and respectfully to figure out the most effective way to cooperate with our assigned families. Adapting to how they learn and their old lifestyle will be helpful in communicating with them.
I also believe that teaching them our ways will teach ourselves about our own habits. The families will indirectly teach us and have us question ourselves about the way we live our life. Sometimes it takes an outside party for you to notice a bad habit or a negative train of thought. I feel that helping these families will equally help me learn about myself. From this, both parties involved will mature into better beings. I hope their lifestyle will be integrated in my daily life. It will be interesting to find out their priorities and how they go about their daily activities.
The families we will be paired up with are going to be a huge impact on our lives. I have high expectations for teaching them and learning with them. It is hard to believe the difference we have the ability to make with just being ourselves. It might take time to warm up with our new friends, but hopefully we will be considered family as we spend more days together.




Unchartered Ground
Walking through unknown territory on a street I frequently passed, Devon Ave, it was amazing how little I knew of this area. Down the main street there are numerous Middle Eastern restaurants, shops, and ethnic grocery stores. Devon pedestrians walk as they please regardless of oncoming vehicles. Buses and cars inhabit the streets and intersections sometimes ignoring traffic laws. The side streets branching off this multicultural busy street are the people who make up Devon’s multi-culture. The family has three boys: Kahim, age 11, Abbas, age 6, and Iraq, age 1. At the first introduction, they welcomed us in their home with open arms. 
  The fact that the family will most likely not speak English well, if at all, was a concern. How would I be of any help to them if I cannot communicate effectively, after all “language is connected to both good judgment and to forming relationships” (Pipher 76). On the way to the Al Khafaji residence, I kept on thinking of how we would speak to each other. Language, however, does not have to be verbal. The first hello and welcome was a warm gesture. As the conversation became more complex with the simple “what is your name,” Kahim defaults to saying “no speak English”. He would not stray away from the fact that they did not speak much English, so the use of hand signs and a lot of smiling came in handy. It was a challenge to try to speak the most basic words of the English language and to speak with incorrect grammar to help them understand what I was trying to tell them. It is evident that the language difference can be very difficult for some befrienders to get accustom to because it can “cause misunderstanding and hinder relationship building” (Behnia 12). Constantly trying to find new ways to communicate with the family is exhausting. There are only so many objects one can point to in order to complete a sentence. Sometimes turning to a translator app is the only option. Not only is the language a barrier, but the culture is very different from American culture. Having to think about my actions around the family and if it was appropriate was a constant effort. In Muslim culture, women are limited to many expressions. I did not want to offend the mother with how I interacted with her children and with her. Their sense of time is also one aspect that they need to assimilate to. They did not answer their door when I showed up for our second meeting. It is clear why some befrienders would get frustrated with this. Befrienders are volunteers sacrificing their own time to help someone in need, while the refugees unintentionally go on with their own schedule without the thought of missing their meeting. It is important not to take actions like these personally because most countries do not hold time as preciously as Americans do. 
 Part of the refugee resettlement process is to prove that one is in fact a refugee. They must show that they live in a “well founded fear of being persecuted for reasons of race, religion, nationality, membership in a particular social group, or political opinion” (Steimel 1). It is understood that it is protocol and the agency cannot take anyone’s word for it that they are in fact a refugee, but it is a very difficult time for the refugee to revisit their past. Their past includes their time in the refugee camp and also their story of how they were forced out of their home. The family is from Baghdad, Iraq and the mother blatantly told me that her country is not peaceful. She made sound effects of jets and bombs implying that their home was in constant unrest. Her hands shook in the air to show that life was rocky. It was not possible to fully describe their life in Iraq to entail all of its emotional instability and struggle with comfort, but it was clear to see that the Iraqi family is happy to be here in Chicago. She refers to her new home as Chicago and not America as I expected. Since the United States appeals to a majority of the world’s population as an ideal place to live, it was expected that the mother would call her new home America. She was surprised that her new home of Chicago catered to their culture. Devon is the perfect area for Iraqi refugees to live. It is not warm year round, but at least it has cultured grocery stores, restaurants, and shops. The mother wears a dress that covers the top of her head all the way to her feet with only her face showing. If she needed a new wardrobe and did not live in this area, it would be very difficult to find a new dress that fit within her culture’s rules. Along with living in this area, its residents are used to seeing women dressed in that sort of clothing. In the movie Lost Boys of Sudan, one of the refugees claimed to be a different kind of black than the African Americans living in America. He did not associate or find comfort with the African Americans because he found that they too look at him differently. The lost boy refugee was constantly being judged and did not find relief with anybody. The family lives among many people of their culture. They all may not be refugees, but it will be easier for them to assimilate to America. Kahim already speaks of his friends in school.  
 The family has only been in America a couple months now, but they are certainly on the right track and still have a positive attitude. It is saddening seeing the shocked look in the boys’ eyes as my partner and I leave the residence, but heartening at the same time knowing that they have already accepted us into their life. It is still early in the befriending process and more difficult meetings with more complex questions about American culture are afoot. Until then, teaching them as many English words as possible seems to be the current agenda.

Land of Opportunity
Refugees are seen as an insufficient, helpless group of people. This is the impression given after seeing any type of refugee propaganda. Presentations given in the classroom about their lives, movies documenting their journeys and struggles, and statistical data all contribute to making refugees look like they cannot survive in America without government assistance. While all of this is true for the most part, not all refugees are helpless people. Refugee propaganda is set up this way to effectively gather awareness and support from various organization to continue and increase support for this group of people who have experienced things the average person could not even believe.
David Haines emphasizes his belief that America is the land of refuge. This philosophy is one-hundred percent true. It was one of the main reasons why the British founded their new homes here and why the majority of immigrants left their country. The difference between early immigrants and refugees is that the founding immigrants chose to come here and funded their own ways. Both groups left their homes to seek refuge. Refugees are willing to go anywhere that is better than their current housing. They have been through internal war fare and scarring experiences that they deserve to have a better life. America is an ideal place for their dreams to come true because they have heard so many American glory stories. People would not continue to go to a country if so many of them failed to better their life. There has to be a reason why there continues to be such a large immigrant population. The United States take refugees from all different types of backgrounds. At first, there was a fear that they were going to favor certain regions more than others. For example, when refugees were first being accepted in America, only 3,000 of the 100,000 refugees were Africans1. Now africans constitute a major part of those coming into America along with refugees from Burma, Nepal, and Iraq. Refugees range anywhere from the Middle East to the Soviet Union to Asia. The refugee resettlement program proudly accepts people of any religion, race, and country.
 Refugees receive their newly assigned homes and are ecstatic to finally establish a real home. When they get to America that feeling subsides. They go into a culture shock because everything is completely different. Other immigrants have an easier time assimilating to American culture because they have had previous American experiences and have families already here. Refugees do not know anybody or even the language. It is difficult to design an effective program to help assimilate all refugees. A program that works for one group of refugees will not necessarily be as effective for another. There are too many diverse groups of refugees to design an effective program for each. Volags have some volunteers that speak the language and make it a little easier on the refugees to feel welcome, but those are scarce. Most volunteers are English-speakers, so the cross-cultural communication is difficult. The refugees do not understand American culture and Americans do not understand the refugee’s culture. This also brings up the rate at which refugees move on and appreciate their new homes. Americans feel like refugees are not getting the message to move on to their future. They see the refugees as being ungrateful for what was given to them and are not taking advantage or appreciating their new opportunities. The issue is that Americans do not know how difficult their times have been. Refugees feel like Americans do not understand that their past is inhibiting them from living their future. They are stuck in between their past and their future.
The Volags need to be more public and extreme if they want to continue to be successful. It seems that religious charities dominate the field of refugee resettlement volunteer agencies, like the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops and the Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Chicago2. One reason why not as much funds are being put into the organizations is because they are religion-affiliated. Most religious charities need to look into private companies and organization to donate money for their cause. The government usually allocates smaller portions of funds to religious based services than public organizations. Yes, they have made refugee related departments in the federal government to manage refugee affairs, but since some believe the country must take care of its own people before others they do not put a lot of focus in this aspect of immigration. The government needs to remember what America is founded on, by refugees. It would be ideal to provide more financial security to the new refugees for longer than a few months, but that would take a great deal out of taxes. It would also make them more dependent and feel like they do not need to look for jobs that quickly. It is, however, agreed that the money they are currently receiving per head, $1,1003, would be difficult for the average American.
Americans are important to refugees, but refugees are also important to us. They serve as clear witnesses to what America is and what it can be in the future. America is founded on immigrants seeking refuge. Some refugees do well and some have a little more difficulty. They believe that they can achieve a safe haven in America, but they cannot escape their experiences that left them with their scars. The Volags put all of their effort into making it easier for refugees to consider America their new home and to ensure them that they are safe here. There is only so much the Volags can do without proper support. These organization create moving videos and movies of the unique journeys refugees went through and continue to live in order to gain more support from other organizations to fund their programs. Their major goal is to be on the agenda in Congress to allocate more funds from the budget to refugee resettlement.

Bibliography
Behnia, Benham (2008) An Exploratory Study of Befriending Programs with Refugees: The Perspective of Volunteer Organizations. Journal of Immigrant & Refugee Studies 5(3): 1-19.
Jochum, Marie. Refugee Resettlement. Powerpoint
Haines, David. Safe Haven?: A History of Refugees in America. Sterling, VA: Kumarian, 2010. Print.

Pipher, Mary (2002) The middle of Everywhere: Helping Refugees Enter the American Community. New York: Harcourt.
Steimel, Sarah (2010) Refugees as People: The Portrayal of Refugees in American Human Interest Stories. Journal of Refugee Studies 23: 219-237.

From January 2013 through April 2013 (and beyond), students in Anth 301: Refugee Resettlement (Spring semester 2013) were engaged in befriending work with refugees resettled in Chicago. The endeavored to meet with families at least once a week for 3 hours. They also conducted service and research resulting in ESL classes for refugees, community garden opportunities, health care material donations, job fair and job development support, fundraising for the Bhutanese Community Association of Illinois and the Darfur Dream Team, and an awareness raising event with the Jesuit Refugee Service/USA. I am proud of the work these students did and the many thing they learned through experience and collaborative work. Our efforts over the past 4.5 years have now resulted in more than 6,000 community service hours and in-kind donations valued at more than $150,000. More importantly, we have become a valued and respected supporter of refugees in Chicago and around the world.