As of more than half way through the class, I have learned a lot more than I had expected and my outlook on the entire refugee program has entirely changed. Through this class I no longer see these people as just ‘refugees’ but as human beings that have become distressed by situations that none other than themselves can comprehend. These people are trapped in circumstances that are unparalleled and impossible to recover from without the help of those willing to place themselves in their shoes and attempt to imagine the adversities of their lives. I have to learn and realize these things through the experiences and lessons I have learned in the refugee class. Although I have yet much to learn, through visiting a family and hearing the stories of my classmates, my eyes are beginning to open to the secret lives that refugees must endure and I am learning to better relate to them and see them as human beings in need.
I did not begin to meet with families until later than my classmates due to complications in finding my mentor, however in a way this helped me pay attention to what my classmates’ had to say about their visits and their experiences. I had the chance to hear how students were able to build up relationships with their families and how they overcame the awkwardness of the first visit. I also heard how students were able relate to their families and create an environment in which their family would accept them as a close friend. I heard how students took their families on trips downtown and the different activities they did with them. I feel that this was almost to my advantage because I had the chance to hear the mistakes and good things my classmates did and I started imagining things I should and shouldn’t do with my family when it was my chance. I got an idea of possible things I could do to relate myself with my family and got a grasp on how I would spend the hours that I would have at their home. At that point I did not know the age of people I would be spending time with and so I was making mental notes on how individuals of different ages should be treated and along with those learning gender roles. I didn’t even know the nationality of the family I would be visiting and so I was paying close attention to invisible rules that were in place for each type of people. The types of families ranged from just arrived to relatively older and more accustomed families. What I had heard about the latter was that there was a much lesser communication barrier and that these families had more or less settled and weren’t in dire circumstances or still in the initial shock. This proved to be advantageous to me because I was assigned a Nepalese family that had been here for a few years and have 3 younger children.
Upon being assigned a Nepalese family, I was both nervous and excited. I didn’t know exactly what to expect but I knew I would somewhat be able to relate with them on account of me being Indian and being familiar with the foods, culture, and somewhat knowledgeable about the religions that I knew would overlap. I knew that this wasn’t nearly all that I needed to connect with the family but I knew that this would be a great place to start. When my mentor and I visited there was only the grandmother home, who didn’t talk much, and the oldest daughter and the youngest son who were on spring break. My mentor spent most of her time helping the kids with their homework and so she was most fond of them and was most comfortable with talking to them. We talked to the boy who was in middle school and he amusingly seemed to be interested in only wrestling and asking random questions. The older girl made us some delicious tea, something I was very fond of because my mom commonly made it at home, and then sat and talked with us. The entire family thought I was Nepalese because I looked like it and my name seemed to be common among Nepal people. I didn’t get to meet the parents and I didn’t ask about them because my mentor didn’t know too much about them and their circumstances. Upon time to leave, we thanked the family for having us over and allowing us to spend time with them. I found welcome to be very warm and pleasant.
Meeting a refugee family was something I looked forward and had many different views about. I was both excited and nervous for the occasion and didn’t know at all what to expect until after I was assigned a family. Even then there were many surprises still yet to come and I was looking forward to the visit. I feel that I was more prepared than others when it came to hearing stories of visits and I feel it was beneficial to me to hear of other people’s experiences before I had my own. I look forward to my next visits in the upcoming weeks can’t wait to become more personal with the family. I can feel myself opening my eyes to those in need around me and what it truly means to have a compassionate heart towards others that needs help.