My experience started when we first visited our refugee family. My family is from Nepal. We first met the mom, the sister-in-law, and the kids. The mom has 3 daughters, one in 3rd grade, 7th grade, and 9th grade and she also has a son in 1st grade. The eldest daughter was very mature; she would help her mom in the kitchen and help clean the house. The daughter in 7th grade liked to hang out with her friends because we would see them go upstairs and blast music and laugh. The mom takes ESL classes and is looking for a job. The sister-in-law’s English was good; she was our translator and our way to communicate with the family. The family was very welcoming. The mom made us chai tea and gave us sweets. At first the sister-in-law was a bit confused why we were there but then after explaining they were grateful that we were there to help them. The two young kids were very excited, they wanted to play games, watch movies, and help them with their homework. The youngest daughter is very smart, and knows English pretty well. The boy was very smart too and he understood most of his homework. The daughter who was in 7th grade had very difficult time with her English and her homework. Every time we go visit them, there are always guests over or we would meet some of their extended family. By the end of our volunteering experience we ended up meeting their grandparents, and their aunt & uncle, also some of their close friends. We ended up meeting the dad on our last visit. He didn’t say much but he did have a strong, firm handshake. We took the kids to Loyola Park and they met up with some of their friends. They really like taking pictures. So we would take turns taking pictures of everyone.
For me this experience opened up my eyes to issues that I haven’t been aware about. If I haven’t taken this class and learned about the hardships that refugees face in America I wouldn’t have become aware of this problem. I learned that I shouldn’t only be aware of issues that are told on the news but also be aware of small issues that aren’t broadcasted on the news. I can become more aware by researching and learning about the problems going on in different countries. These experiences aren’t affecting me in a bad way but it is affecting me in a good way because these experiences are helping me grow as a person. I am becoming aware of issues around the world and I am very interested in learning about social justice. After meeting my refugee family I feel very confident that I will get a lot from this experience. I understand the hardships refugees go through first hand rather than just learning it in class and from these hardships we will learn to do something about it. I want to help make people aware of the refugee situation and I want people to do something about it. Already in class, we have spread awareness by doing a fundraiser for the Darfur Dream Team and having evening events where some of the Lost Boys came to talk about their refugee experience. Some other approaches we can take to raise awareness are to make Loyola students to become aware of this issue by organizing events, having fundraising dinners, or having more classes about the topic of social justice. We need people to take action and it all starts from students learning about in a classroom and then telling their friends and family about these issues. One question that has been pondering in my head for a while is why does the U.S. accept refugees if we can’t provide enough resources for them? Because watching the different documentaries in class, it is clear that refugees aren’t getting enough help from the social services and are struggling to live in the U.S. As someone who is aware of this situation, I plan on visiting my family again next year to check up on them and see how everyone is improving with their English and how the kids are doing in school. I don’t want them to feel like I was their friend and then left them, especially to the kids because they enjoyed our company. I have learned a lot from this class and about social justice. I plan on continuing to work for future services and social justice projects around campus and to continue my engagement with my refugee family.

When I first met our refugee family, the family was very welcoming and they greatly appreciated our help. We mostly worked with the young kids and helped them with their homework. Sometimes we would help the mom and the eldest daughter with their English. I think helping the children and coming to visit them every week made a difference in their lives because they had American friends who can teach them English and help them with homework. I feel like we made a difference helping the mom with her English because we were helping her study for the driver’s test and at the end she felt really confident that she would pass the test. This made me happy because I helped someone study and understand something that is new to them.
During my time at Loyola, I can improve my actions by attending meetings for the refugee outreach club and continue volunteering with refugee families. I plan on visiting my family again next year to check up on them and see how everyone is improving with their English and how the kids are doing in school. Some actions that I am already doing with this new knowledge is telling my friends and family about my experiences and making them aware of the issues refugee go through back in their home country and in the U.S. I really enjoyed working with my refugee family and this inspired me to further continue working with refugees and other social justice projects.

Juan Robles

UNIV 190-003: Understanding Service and Social Justice:

The Refugee Experience in America

Third Reflection

Spring 2012

According to the United Nations, there are about 15 million individuals that are currently recognized as refugees. This fact alone is surprising, because this figure does not even account for the other individuals in the world such as Internally Displaced People (IDP) who are living in danger zones, but are not protected or given refugee status by any big form of government power. I strongly believe that my current viewpoint of refugees have changed dramatically from the beginning of the semester. I believe that I have become more open-minded of what refugees experience and I have learned to treat them not as awkward outsiders, but as well respected individuals. From working with my refugee family to watching documentaries or visiting cultural museums, each of these components have provided me with a stronger foundation of what it means to be a refugee.

I am very fortunate to being provided with the opportunity to work with a refugee family. They have provided me with a much clearer insight on what it means to be a foreigner and I admire them for their consistent effort they put forth in their daily lives. For instance, I have worked with a Bhutanese family who were originally from Bhutan, but due to societal and governmental issues were forced to make their journey from Nepal to America. It takes tremendous courage to leave one’s home and just pure determination and dedication to make a new life in a foreign place. The grandmother, despite being very old is still determined to learn English, and that alone is very amazing. I have worked with her in numerous occasions as she has struggled to phonetically sound out basic words. Although she has taken English for over three years, she will not detour from this challenge.  She has taught me that you should never give up on any challenge in life and that it is called a challenge for a reason.

From being involved with this family, I have seen the kids become more vocal and the parents become more aware of the American culture.  For instance, the family’s youngest daughter is very timid, but as our visits became more frequent, Mona and I have realized that this young girl has become more comfortable in expressing her opinions and thoughts to us. In fact, her journal writing is slowly starting to improve. Furthermore, the young boy has also become more comfortable around us and is not shy to ask us if we would like to play a game of Temple Run with him. I have also noticed that the mother has now started to now regard us as not only just “afterschool tutors” but as family friends. We are in the point of the relationship where the family and us can share stories about our heritage, our past, and our prospects for the future.

During class, we have watched an interesting documentary called Well Founded Fear. This film informed us about what refugees experience when applying for asylum in America and the life-changing decisions that the asylum officers must make. For example, one case mentioned in the documentary was about a Chinese poet who was tortured in China for his written masterpieces. The Chinese man was forced bye the Communist government to discontinue his work, but because he did not comply with the Chinese law he was abused mentally and physically. The reason the case was hard for the asylum officer was because the officer had to react to every case in a cynical way and needed evidence in order to support the claim. This film allowed me to draw conclusions that although many innocent individuals are abused, alienated, or exiled, concrete evidence is the only key to freedom. This harsh reality made me realize that many refugees may need to recollect past events that they may not wish to relive.

From reading Mary Pipher’s The Middle of Everywhere, I have been given another perspective of not only how refugees assimilate into the American culture and the challenges they face, but an insight of how one lady has learned from her refugee experience. For instance, Mary Pipher stated an experience she had about cultural differences when confronted by two refugees, she states, “Hamid and Saif were so upset by the topic of how American women are treated that they were shouting…I reflected how the two cultures have mirror-image beliefs about each other”(Pipher, 213). It was interesting to see the comparison of the two cultures and how each culture thought the other was flawed. I came to a realization that there are numerous culture differences among various countries and that it must be very confusing when refugees come to America. Many refugees are very unfamiliar with American traditions and sometimes they may be forced indirectly to join in such activities that they truly do not wish to participate it in or fully do not understand.

Before coming to Cambodian American Heritage Museum, I had some prior knowledge about the Khmer Rouge massacre and the death of over 2 million Cambodians. I am actually a tutor for the children’s program at the Cambodian Association of Illinois and most of the students that I tutor are actually children of survivors that lived through the Khmer Rouge period. From viewing the exhibit, I have learned personal stories about how the Cambodian people were poorly treated and the high level of suffering that they have faced. In addition, I was also able to learn about the Cambodian culture and language. This experience has provided me with a much bigger insight on how frightening a war can actually be and its results. In addition, I have learned about how refugees are determined and will take any chance to secure their safety, even if the odds are not in their favor.

Overall, I believe that every class component including the novels read, movies seen, and personal accounts made by refugees and other individuals, has made my learning experience more even more significant. For instance, towards the end of Mary Pipher’s novel, she states a deep message that made me think more clearly about human rights. She states, “Human Rights should be universal, cultural traditions are not set in stone…..My own deepest beliefs is that the purpose of human life is to grow and become all we can be in order to use those gifts for the betterment of other people” (Pipher, 338). From my understanding of her message, I believe that no matter which culture one practices or nation they live in, everyone should be entitled to various freedoms and live in peace. My interaction with refugees each week has made me even more blessed about my freedoms and has challenged me to help make a significant change to the way freedom is expressed in the world. From this class, I have been provided with a deeper understanding of what it means to be a refugee and will apply what I have learned in this class to my future plans in working in the medical field. One day, I hope to help spread health awareness to every nation across the Americas.

Juan Robles

UNIV 190-003: Understanding Service and Social Justice:

The Refugee Experience in America

Spring 2012

This past semester in my UNIV 190 class, I was given the opportunity to work with a refugee family and to learn more about what it means to be a refugee. Through this course, I was provided with the tools needed to learn more about the issues refugees face, such as resettlement and culture shock. From my weekly interactions with the refugee family, I was given the opportunity to learn more about their culture, their dreams, and their concerns. I, along with my partner and peer mentor, all were able to help tutor the kids in this family as well as teach the adults how to read and write.            I strongly believe that from visiting this family on a weekly basis we were able to give the family a sense of relief. The family appreciated our visits and our help. Our impact on the community was that we were able to help our refugee family become even more acquainted with their neighbors and resources in their environment.

From my experience with working with refugees, I believe that I did a pretty good job of helping the family assimilate at a much easier pace into the American culture. However, some ideas that I wish I had done differently would include taking the family out more. I have realized that most of the family visits were in the refugee home and I believe that if we were in public places, such as the zoo, downtown Chicago etc., the family would feel more comfortable getting around Chicago. Through this rare experience, I wish to continue participating in social justice projects. An idea that I have been thinking about recently is health awareness. I am currently working with the American Cancer Society and from volunteering at numerous events; I have noticed that many minorities do not know about Cancer. I would like to use the skills that I have gained from this unique cultural and global awareness experience and implement these tools into raising Cancer awareness to many communities in Chicago.

Tala Said

UNIV 190-003: Understanding Service and Social Justice” The Refugee Experience in America

Spring 2012

Action Plan
My experience in service learning this semester had an impact in my life; it allowed me to discover myself in an unbelievable way where I never knew I had that much devotion and passion for this family.  And I felt the thankfulness in return.  It really made me feel good about myself in how much I can do to change a family’s life.  It is really therapeutic.  And I do not do much; I sit down with the family, teach the mother some English and also play with the children.  In return, I learn more about them, their experiences in life, and more about the culture they come from.  This itself expanded my knowledge to a degree where I can have an intellectual conversation about it.

What I can do to improve my actions in the future regarding service and social justice is to become more patient and to not try to rush into things too quickly in order for the refugees not to be overwhelmed and that would have a negative result.  Ignatian pedagogy will definitely help me become a better person towards myself and towards anyone; the ideology behind care for self, others and community highlights the impact an individual can do to improve his/herself, the people around that individual and when combined, it would improve the community.  As a student in a Jesuit School, I believe that these must be implemented in every action for anything.

Tala Said

UNIV 190

UNIV Reflection Paper #3

Professor Daniel Amick

April 20^th 2012

UNIV Reflection Paper 3

As soon as I stepped into the house of my refugee family with my peer mentor- Becca, I felt as if a strong current of electricity has rushed into my body.  I was very excited to meet my family and help them with their transition to America.  “The first time was always the most awkward time” is in my head; going and coming.  I was pretty nervous since I’ve learned from my UNIV class that they sometimes are not friendly and open especially during the first time.  I looked around me to find a little girl excitedly welcoming us.  She knew who we were, and automatically got her book and yelled “help me with my homework!”.  As soon as she said that, the ice was broken.  We sat down as the Chai was being served.  The mother of the kids comes up to me and quietly asks some help with her homework.  I excitedly began teaching her, and she was very responsive.  Never have I seen such dedicated people; this really proved that despite the fact of their past, they still have hope in them to create a new chapter in their lives.  Time has flown and we had to leave the household.  As we were leaving, we decided to plan another meeting.

I began to recall the events and what I saw, I figured that they are pretty fortunate for what they have; they have a very modern TV, modern phones, and a modern laptop.  They are pretty much well off regarding those basic needs.  I still felt that they needed help with their English and whatnot.

On my second meeting, the children and mother were very happy upon our arrival.  We sat down and helped the children and mother with homework.  In addition to that, instead of just having a one-way linear relationship, it was a two-way relationship since they learned from us and we learned from them.  They told us more about themselves and they also taught us Nepali dancing.  This is basically what Becca and I do; teach them, and then play with them

For me, an experience means to go into a road you have never explored before that will eventually have a great outcome, whether it was good or bad.  And this path is totally new to me and I can safely call this an experience; I have learned more about the Bhutanese and Nepali culture, more about the situation that happened, and also, more about the people.  Such an experience showed me that I could make a change; it does not necessarily have to be something major.  I now know that I can make a difference to this family, and this makes me feel good about myself.  And from this, I discovered all this devotion and passion in me that needs to be delivered to people who deserve it.

The idea of service shows the unity of the community, and that is one of the basic elements to create a better world.  From community service, I was able to see the other face of life; not the luxurious one we have, it’s the hardworking life that needs patience and dedication to receive something that can or cannot be satisfying.  Life is not an easy golden road that spurts goodies, it is an unpaved road, and it is your choice to choose the material- the choice of the materials should be wise.  The books that we had to read in class clearly highlights the previous statement I mentioned before

The challenges I had to face other than the language barrier is to forget my culture and beliefs and start to think using their culture, because sometimes, it can create an obstacle.  I am learning how to push aside my culture and put myself into their shoes.  Regardless, I am willing to challenge myself and learn different techniques that can make me become more successful in life.

Reflection Paper 2

At this point we have visited our family a few times. I really have to admit I am enjoying the experience even more than I thought I would. I am always looking forward to seeing them each Monday for our around two hour visits. I was rather nervous the first time we went to see them, and it was admittedly more than a little awkward sitting on their living room floor trying to communicate in pieces of English. I don’t want to say broken because I’m not sure how much was miscommunication and what was truly not understood.

The first day was interesting. We walked into their house to meet them. The family consists of four people; the mother (who is currently pregnant), the father, their seven year old son, and daughter who seems to be two. The first day I don’t think that they had any idea why we were there or who we were. For that reason our first visit was a short one. Now they seem to have warmed up to the fact that we are there.

The little boy, at least, seems to be quite fond of us. Every time we go, the first thing we do is ask if he has homework. If he does, we help with it. He is very good at math but, he does sometimes have issues with not reading the entirety of the question before answering it. Once you get him to do that though, he has no problem solving the actual problem. He reads very well also. We have been reading books with him and he does very well. We also play games once the homework is done; dots and hang-man seem to be fun for him.

I know I have been discussing mainly the eldest child but that is because he is the person in the family we have the most interaction with. Not to say that he is the only one we interact with. The younger child, the daughter, started interacting with us more in our two most recent visits. During our first few visits she seemed far more interested in the Scooby-Doo episodes playing from a DVD on the small white TV on a side table of the room by the couch. Recently she has begun to play with us more and more though; coloring and playing with markers and paper cut-outs we make. She’s such a cute little girl.

 It’s really great to be able to get to spend time with these kids; you really have to give them credit. Their lives must have been so hard in Burma, but they are so happy. I have never heard them complain about anything.

We have much less interaction with the parents. The father has only ever been there once while we were there, so I can’t really say much about him. I think the major reason for that is he works. The mother, while she is there every visit, doesn’t interact with us much. I’m not sure what her English level is, so I think that that might have a lot to do with it.

             It’s really great to be going to visit this family, I’m always happy to be going to see them and I’m always in a better mood when I leave. I feel badly though because I don’t know if I’m improving their lives or if they are just improving mine. I also have worries about helping with homework; this is because I don’t know how much help to give. By that I mean I don’t actually want to give him the answers but, I don’t want to not help him enough and just make him more confused. So that’s a concern.  I’m also concerned about teaching him a different method of solving a problem and confusing him.  I also have some concerns about the mother. From what I know, she speaks very little English and I don’t know how to improve her English without talking to her; however we never really talk. 

               From reading The Middle of Everywhere, I was actually more worried about potential problems than I seem to be having. For instance I was concerned about them wanting more help from me than I was capable of giving. Now I don’t know if it’s just that they aren’t real comfortable with us yet or that they have other people helping them but, they seem to want nothing more from me than to help their children with home work and maybe entertain them for a while.  This is a relief in some ways but I also, as mentioned before, fear that they are adding more to my life then I am to theirs. I feel I should be helping more but I don’t really know how to.

Part of why I feel that I should be helping more is because of all of the information we are learning about refugees. I mean they have been through so much. Thinking back on all the things I have learned about the lost boys in particular. Having read What Is The What and having some of them speak to our class, it’s hard to even imagine living through something like that. They have not only lived through it, they seem to have such upbeat attitudes about life. Having learned about refugees from several different places, I’m beginning to see that while every refugee’s story is unique, the experience of being a refugee has a similar theme throughout time and space. Be it refugees from the Ukraine, like the museum we visited in the start of the semester, or the lost boys of Sudan, it’s hard to imagine how it must feel to have people trying to wipe out your culture. It is astonishing, the resilience of these people; the fight that they have to not only survive but to bring their cultures with them. They are truly amazing people.

It makes you want to get involved and also reflect on your life and be grateful for the things you have, the safety of your home. That is one thing that I do have to disagree with Mary Pipher about.  I realize that after 9-11 a lot of people felt unsafe in America and also that it was the beginning of large discrimination against a whole population in this country but, I think as an average American citizen; who has lived here for most of my life, I have always felt safe here. I think 9-11 was a wakeup call and that it shattered the perception amongst Americans that the U.S. was impervious to attack.  I don’t really think it compares to a refugee experience though. I think that she over states this a bit in the beginning of her book.

I have come a long way in this class since the beginning of the semester. In my first reflection paper, I reflected on all the material I had learned about in class about the refugee experience. That was the only knowledge I had on refugees prior to meeting my family. Also, since my last reflection I have become much closer to my refugee family. It’s great to think about how much I have grown close to them in just a small amount of time.

When the semester began, I was looking forward to working with a refugee family and being significant in their lives and their transition to life in the United States, as well as them being significant to my life. The first half of the semester we read What is the What. By reading it, I was able to get a sense of what refugee’s went through before and after their transition to the states. Obviously not all refugees go through the same experiences as expressed in the book but it helped me understand that what they may have been through is something that I could not fully comprehend and be able to relate to them in that matter.

My refugee family has been in the United States for approximately two years now and they seem pretty well adapted to the life style here, at least the ones that work and go to school. The home of my family consists of the mother, the father and two teenage daughters. In another apartment under theirs, live the eldest daughter, her husband and their two children. When we first met them, we only met the women and the children; to this day we have not met the males in the family. I am still curious whether it is something cultural or perhaps they are more reserved and do not feel the need to meet us. Anyhow, Angie and I have connected really well with the two teenage daughters. Phalguna and her sister are nineteen and twenty-one, they go to college and work at a hotel downtown. We are able to relate to them the most because they are our age and also because they are more accustomed to the American lifestyle than the others in their family.

When we go to their home, usually we help the girls with their homework. It works out perfectly because Angie and I together are able to help them in all their class material. Usually while we are in the living room helping them, their mother sits and watches us, just observes with a smile on her face. Every time we go, she gives us refreshments and snacks. That was one of my fears before we began to visit our family that I would not want to have some of the things she fed us. However, their food is surprisingly good and we usually take them a desert when we go and they like to feed us what we take them as well. So far, being with the family has been extremely enjoyable and definitely a learning experience.

Now that we are reading Mary Pipher’s The middle of Everywhere, I can compare her experiences to ours. She is devoted to helping refugees transition to life in America and does a lot to help them. I also like to hear the stories from my fellow class mates about their experiences because although they are volunteering around the same amount as we are and around the same neighborhoods, their experiences are very different from ours or some very similar. No matter how varying our experiences are, we are all growing from this experience and we are all making a difference in other peoples’ lives

There is still a month left in this semester, and I hope to gain a lot more from this family still. We are planning to take them somewhere in the city, at least the girls, and experience real life with them. My goal by the end of the semester is to help them not be afraid of life in America. Although it is extremely different from their home country and probably extremely hard for them to feel completely comfortable, I believe they can succeed here and make a better future for their children and future generations.

Since the beginning of this course, I have learned quite a lot about what refugees go through and how they adapt to living in the United States. By reading What is the what, I have gained somewhat of an understanding of how difficult it is for a refugee to adapt to their new lives and how they overcome their past experiences. Through the lectures in class, I have learned what refugees go through to flee their country and find peace in another. The refugee experience is something I knew little about prior to taking this course. However, I was very excited about the service learning component of the class because I felt that I could make a difference in these peoples’ lives by directly working with them.

When I first heard that I would be paired up with a Bhutanese family, I was nervous because I have never met, even less been around anyone of that ethnicity or culture. I was even more nervous because I felt that I wound not be able to relate to them in any way and because of that they would not feel comfortable to open up to me. Right away all I could think about were the challenges I would face trying to connect to this family. I did not want to unknowingly do anything to disrespect the family or their morals in any way. In the past, I have worked with immigrant families by helped them transition to life in the United States. However, I feel that this will be different since there would be a language barrier and fewer resources to help them.

When our guest speakers came and talked to us about their experiences I felt a little more comfortable with the idea of working with a refugee family. They spoke about visiting them and how they connected with the family and activities they would do together. At that point it seemed more realistic to me about working with a family because they had expressed how they adapted and that it wasn’t difficult.

Last week Angie and I made arrangements with our mentor, Rob, to visit our family. On Thursday evening we headed over to their home. On the way over, my nerves about doing or saying the wrong thing resurfaced. Rob had mentioned how this family loved to feed him and that was the main thing I dreaded. I am a very picky eater and I feared that if I did not eat what they served me I would offend them on the first day. Once we arrived at their home, all my nerves went away. Their home was cozy and the family was kind and welcoming. Rob introduced us and explained to them that we would be visiting them as well from now on. This helped a lot and make everything that much more comfortable. I met the family and became acquainted with what we would be doing and who were the members we would be working more so with. Overall the time spent with the family on the first night was extremely comfortable and enjoyable.

I am looking forward to visiting our family weekly and getting to know them on a more personal level. I hope to learn about what they have been through or where they plan on going. My goal is to be as helpful as I can be to the family. Even though they have been here for about two years already, I want to help them stabilize their life here in the United States and help the younger ones be successful to the most of their ability.

Reed Leopold

Dr. Amick

I have experienced much since my last reflection paper. I have gotten my family and started to become friends with them. Blood, the youngest in our family, took the longest to open up and talk to us. It took some time but he eventually did and I learned that he likes to sing and dance. He is very open when you ask him about the Congo or what he used to do there in his free time. It was interesting what he had to say about his home. Blood took the longest to open up but the older brothers opened up right away. It was nice because there really was not any tension or any awkward moments. Mac, one of the oldest of the five, was the friendliest out of all of them but they were all friendly. Mac just got a job too. It was good to hear that he had landed a job.  I really like my family. They are very friendly and funny. It makes it easier with jokes and to relate since they are all men. The only issue that we encounter sometimes is that it is hard to contact them and the language barrier. However, their English has improved greatly since our first meeting. The bond between me and my family is strengthening every time we meet and converse. When we took some of our refugee family downtown it was a great bonding experience. We learned a lot aboutour family and the struggles that they have faced in coming to America. It was a great bonding and learning experience.

I have thoroughly enjoyed Mary Pipher’s book, “The Middle of Everywhere.” I like how it talks about other refugees and the problems that they have faced. It shocked me from her book that the woman did not know what sex was or anything along those lines because their mother’s had died or when the teacher had given them pencils as a going away present and the kids went crazy and loved them. I also found it interesting the adolescence is the hardest age to adapt because at school the kids would make fun of them for not being Americanized but at home the parents would get mad at them for being too Americanized. It’s weird to think that those kids are in between a rock and a hard place.  I cannot even imagine and really do not want to know what it is like to be in a situation like that. From reading this book, I have related to some of the situations. I know that I and my refugee family are going to get together and play soccer. I feel that the refugees are scared but that they are also lonely and would just like a companion or friend to just hang out with and talk about life. There are only so many things you can talk about with your family and that is why people have friends to not only have fun with but talk to as well.

In these few months, I have grown more compassionate towards the refugees because before I did not know anything and I really did not bother to look into it. This class and my family have greatly opened my eyes to the seriousness of the situations in the world today and the few people that even bother to help. I hope in this last month of class that I learn more. I also hope to continue my friendship with my family even after this class has long and passed.

Reflection Paper #2
Before meeting my family, I was nervous but yet extremely excited. The refugee family that I am working with consists of three generations, 13 people total. The family escaped from Africa to live safely here in America just two weeks ago. They currently share 3 apartments within the same apartment complex. The first time I visited the family, I was shocked to see how open and welcoming they were. The grandmother, 7 daughters and sons, and 5 grandkids were thrilled to see us. I have been blessed with an amazing refugee family that is so open to my partner and I helping.
After learning the difficulties that refugees have to face, I became very eager to help. However, I doubted my ability to make a difference. As a white, teenage girl with absolutely no cultural diversity, I did not think that I would be able to support the family emotionally, mentally, or financially. Luckily, I was quick to be proven wrong. The family accepted me with open arms. They were appreciative of every effort that I made to try and connect with the family. Every time I went to visit the family, we brought some type of gift for the family. It was difficult to find a happy medium between bringing too much and not brining enough. We tried to limit our gifts to the mere essentials. However, of all of the material objects that we brought, they were most appreciative of the pictures. We took pictures of their family, printed them, and then brought them at our next visit. Also, my experience working with refugees has taught me the value of community support. My family was grateful for the things we brought but was most exited about the company. With the family knowing not a single person in America, it really made a difference to the family that we were reaching out to help. You could tell that the family felt loved by our support and eager to share their excitement with us. I have only meet my family twice, but if time permits, I would definitely consider to continue working with my family next year. Addition to the necessities that we bring, I find it most beneficial to bring my knowledge and experiences. It is through knowledge that they will continue to grow and be able to support themselves. I want to enable them to contribute to society and support themselves. Although they need support right now, I believe they can and will come to a point where they no longer require community support and are able to give back to incoming refugees. Although I cannot bring much, I bring what I can and that seems to be more than enough.
Coming into the refugee experience, I doubted my ability to help my family, but I also was blind to foresee how my refugee family could help me. As a family clearly needing support in all aspects of life, I focused all my preparation on how I could help them. I was not ready for how much they would change my outlook on life in just two short visits. My family inspired me with their positivity and desire to learn. In america, they have absorbed every experience and made the best of their situation. Out of 13 people, they only had one blanket to share. But of course, the family focused on the positives and only told us they had one blanket when we asked. The family did not focus on what they do not have, but what they do have. Culturally speaking, I am very appreciative for my blessings and try not to take anything for granted. However, outside of our culture, I see how much room I still have to grow. I am blessed for my house, my many opportunities, my family, and my quality of friends. However, seeing someone with no friends and no home, makes me not only appreciate the quality, but the mere existence. I could not imagine going to a thrift store and not having enough money to buy $2 shoes. But yet, the family makes the best of their situation and always keeps a smile on his or her face no matter what. I realize how much I have learned my family but also understand that I still have much to absorb.
I have learned a tremendous amount about my refugee experience thus far, but reading “The Middle of Everywhere: Helping Refugees Enter the American Community,” by Mary Pipher, has also greatly shaped my outlook on life. In the novel, Pipher explains that kids have to miss school in order to be a translator for their parents and engage in adult activities. This makes me appreciate my childhood and realize how lucky I am to have the opportunity to seize education. My refugee family’s desire to learn made a huge impact. Learning numbers, the alphabet, american language, american culture, and american customs were of high priority to the family. Not only did they want to learn, but they enjoyed learning. Additionally, Pipher tapped into kids reactions to their traumatic experiences. Children will either become mute and not talk, or be overly excited and enthusiastic. Although I would like to remain optimistic, I must understand that part of the family’s happiness could be a coping mechanism for the events that took place back at home. I must prepare myself for when culture shock kicks in and they must deal with their problems here in America and come to terms with their problems from the past. All I can do is be there for emotional support and encourage the family along. I am trying to teach them everything that I can while they are still in the honeymoon phase. But even once that phase passes, I will not give up. I will continue to try and support my family by teaching them and by brining them necessities.
My refugee experience has been inspirational, moving, and extremely beneficial. It has opened my eyes to see how much of a difference I can make and how much I can benefit from helping out. I could write a novel on each member of the family, describing how much they have influenced me. However, due to the lack of space, I must end my reflection. Even though my reflection is ending on paper, I will continue to be influenced my family and my the novel.

Going into my first visit with the family, I had a mix of emotions. The first time we were scheduled to meet my partner and I could not make it. When that happened, I was really disappointed because I felt it was a bad start. We finally were able to reschedule the meeting and we met at out mentors’ apartment not too far away from campus. We met with the kids first, our mentor thought it would be a god idea to meet with them then meet with the parents when we took the kids home. There were four kids in the apartment but not all of them were the actual children of the family we were partnered up with only one of them. The other three children were either niece/nephew or friend. That first day we met the kids we played Rock Band and they loved playing with cellphones and the Internet. We later took them back to their home and met the parents and the grandmother.

We visit our family every Friday for about two to three hours. During that time we interact we mostly just hang out and interact with the kids and try to connect with the parents. At first, we make sure that the kids have finished their homework, if they have not we help them. If they are finished with homework we can all go to the park or simply play with them at their house. My partner and I learned how to play “rocks”. The kids taught us how to play the game rocks that they would play in Nepal. It was fun even though I was not so good at it. I am really competitive but it in this case I just tried to not be because the kids were pros. My partner and I went home and wanted to practice playing rocks so that next time we wouldn’t be so bad. We also try to interact more with the adults but that is more of a challenge.

The connection between the kids and myself is getting better every time. They are getting used to us and that we are good people with good intentions. We do different activities and learn different things about them each time we go over, which is nice. The kids are young, the ages range from first grade to sixth grade. They are so funny and that is refreshing because it makes things easier. The adults are the mom, dad, and the grandmother. The father is pretty quiet but always greets with a hi and a smile. The mother is a little more talkative and we connected with her on our last couple visits. She taught my mentors and partner how to braid hair in a fishtail braid. We told her than my parent had learned how to braid hair because of her she seemed happy. We talked about our families with her and that was the first time we heard her speak English. She feeds us half the time we go but sometimes I feel ad because it’s late and I do not want to eat or I have plans to go out but we manage. The grandmother doesn’t really talk to us, sometimes she seems kind of worried about my partner and I. Her facial expressions do not look so positive but I understand. I am a stranger and elders could be harder to deal with.

Our mentors are such great help. There are three other girls that go with us to visit the family and it is nice to have them around. They know the family better and it is an easier transition with them in the picture. One of the mentors is from the same place as the family and speaks the language fluently. The parents usually go for her to translate between us. At first, it was a little harder to make the connection with the kids because they were more accustomed to being with them and they were more comfortable with them than us. The connection was not forced immediately like it would have been it we didn’t have the mentors but I feel that was okay. The kids have their own pace to learn about us and they have become more comfortable with us pretty quickly. Having the mentors go with us also took away some of the awkwardness and weirdness that could have been present if we were alone with the family. The mentors give us insight on what is going on with the family so we are aware of what is going on instead of going in blind into the situation. With that insight, we know how to act according to the situation.  The mentors are very nice and very helpful.

In the book, Mary Pipher talks about her hometown in Nebraska. She says that she was only used to seeing people like her and was never exposed to different cultures or situations. I thought this was interesting. I thought how could a person be so unaware of what is going on but the times are different. The more I though about the more I realized how many people are like that, maybe on different levels but the same situation. For example, I attended a high school where the student body was 100% Hispanic. My community and the people I interacted with on a daily basis were for the most part Mexican/Hispanic/ Latino like myself. Not that I wasn’t aware of other cultures but I wasn’t completely exposed to them either; in a certain way I was like Mary Pipher in the story.

The story of her helping the refugees was great. It goes to show how amazing relationships could be with the refugee families. Refugees need more than just help from the person but also the friendship. This is a lesson for people helping out a refugee family because sometimes people forget that these are human beings in which we can be friends with; they just aren’t people that need our assistance. In the book, it also shows how diverse a family can be. Not all members have the same feels and they might all might be going through different phases in like the sisters she was helping.

ALIZEY AHMED

2^ND REFLECTION PAPER

UNIV 109

3/31/2012

Marry Pipher’s book, In The Middle of Everywhere, is focused on the United States, “The nation of immigrants”, focusing on the refugee population of the country. She opens the book with a poem that describes her life in Nebraska, where she grew up.  Also, how over the years it became so diverse, as the number of refugees and other people with different cultural backgrounds settled there.

Pipher, in her book, talks about a Kurdish family she has come to work with in Nebraska, a family of just women. The daughters, their mother, and her narrate their journey from Iraq to Iran to Pakistan and then their arrival to Nebraska. She talks about the challenges the family and other refugees face in the United States. It is the family’s first year and they have yet to experience the major American holidays such as Halloween and the Fourth of July.

The experiences of the refugees that Pipher talks about are common to all refugee families and the things and understanding they require to have relative success and a smooth transition in the United States. She explores the sources and outlets of help the refugees have available to turn to in time of need and the resources that are given to them to have the smoothest possible transition in the new country. She talks about how the information that is given to the refugees to help them is like a form of power and she talks about some of the things that she had taught them to do, such as how to use the revolving doors among many other things the refugees were not familiar with.

The things that Pipher has talked about in the first part of the book I feel are similar to the things my partner and I are experiencing with our family. Our family is from Nepal and have been in Chicago for three months. The family consists of the father and his two children, a teenage daughter and son who live in a two-bedroom apartment. We have visited the family four times now and every time we visit it seems like we have a new surprise awaiting us, it is either that the children have a lot of friends visiting, each time we see new faces or the family has a feats of fruit, juices and ‘chai’ tea awaiting us.

However, the third time we went for the visit, the children were not home and it was only the father who refused to let us in. He seems to be a rather distant character and is harder to communicate and connect with. Nonetheless he is a sweet man and I feel it is going to be rather hard for him to open to us.

Many of the other students who visit their families, know their families story, how they came to the United States, and their life in the refugee camps. However, I don’t feel that our family is open to discussing their past with us, as I feel they still see us just as temporary guest, they never ask us for help and merely treat us as guest. In all our visits we have only once helped the daughter, with her homework and the rest of the time we just end up playing games.

Even though playing the games with the children is fun and entertaining, I don’t feel that we are making much of a difference in their life or helping them like the other students do so with their family. I wish that they would open up to us and tell us their story, as I would really like to know about it.

The children don’t seem to have a mother and the family pictures they have on the wall don’t have a mother figure present in them. I am really curious about whether their mother is still in the refugee camp or what the situation was. However, I refrain from asking them about it, it seems like a sensitive topic that they might not want to discuss with ‘strangers’ and might find it offensive.

On our last visit we played a game with the family. The two children and their friends, two other Nepali boys, and I spoke Hindi. They were very curious about my background as they asked me questions of how it was to live away from home and be in Chicago for school. The boys asked us about college and how they would like to enroll in a college; some of them wanted to attend Loyola but said that it was too expensive.

In most of our visits, we usually only communicate with the children and their friends as the father is usually in the kitchen or just sitting around watching us play games as he doesn’t wish to take part. I feel that our visits are fun and not much of a service learning experience. I don’t feel we have helped the family in any way yet, like Mary Pipher has helped her refugee family use the revolving door among many other things. We also don’t know about the family’s income situation, whether the father or the son work to provide them with money. Therefore in our next visit we are planning to take the family out to the park for an outing, hopefully we make some progress there and hopefully the father will accompany us.

Zach Springer

UNIV 190

4/4/12

Over the past month and a half I have made many new discoveries. I received my Refugee family last month and I have been visiting them at every chance I can get. A typical visit with my fellow classmate Benjamin Gavin consists of a 30 minute taxi or CTA bus ride to our Refugees house, followed by a short walk up two flights of stairs and to the home of our Refugee family. Once inside we always ask politely if they would like us to take our shoes off, which the answer has been the same for every visit, “No, it is okay, thank you”. This proceeds to helping the two younger children with their Geometry homework or talking and sometimes watching football (soccer) games with the two children. When there is a lull in the conversation, the elder brother will usually excuse himself, then proceed to the kitchen to bring Benjamin and myself coffee and cookies. It was only on the last visit that Benjamin and I were able to meet the Mother, Father, and Grandmother. Who all speak very limited english. In two weeks Benjamin and I plan on taking the family to the Lincoln park zoo. When we proposed this idea the family was very excited.

Partnered with the classroom aspect, I feel that my experience in University 190 has stayed remotely the same since my last reflection paper. I know know the exact numbers of how many refugees there are in the world (more than 15 million), what the percentage of refugees are women and children (80%), how many years it usually takes to become a citizen of a new country (18 years), and many more facts about the life of a refugee. Although I now know these facts, I wish to continue into a study of what I can do as a student to have a viable impact on the world wide refugee outreach. Over the course of the semester I was put in charge of an event for the Lost Boys from Sudan. Although this event did not see much publicity or monetary donations, I feel that those who attended were greatly moved and persuaded to help refugees around the world. Furthermore I am currently working on another project for University 190 involving many more people. Also I have made contact with my high school informing them about the Darfur Dream Team in hope that knowledge will spread to those who are younger than I am.

In Mary Pipher’s book In the Middle of Everywhere , she discusses the cultural differences that refugees and what it is like to be a cultural broker for refugees. I feel that I can relate with her in a major way. My refugee experience has been relatively similar. Coming from the mid-west I can assimilate with many of her cultural ideas, and the ways in which she acts as a cultural broker. Mary Pipher also discusses the fact that at her local school the ESL students speak roughly 20 different languages. Again something I am familiar with as there were many different languages that were spoken at my high school as well. Furthermore I am practically fluent in Spanish and I am learning Italian so I can relate with refugees when it comes to new language acquisition.

What I hope to gain from the final month of this class is more knowledge about what I can personally do to change the injustices that refugees face on a daily basis, and also to learn more about the conflicts that made the refugees flee their home country. I believe that I have already put in a substantial amount of dedication to this class and will continue to do so until not only the end of this semester, but even after the semester ends. I hope to continue to do work with refugee families and identify the root causes of problems that they face.

Mary Pipher, in her book The Middle of Everywhere, talks about the rapid changes her town of Nebraska has been facing due to the large amounts of refugee resettlements.  She left Nebraska to travel the world and when she got older she went back and found everything much different. Her community was more diverse and she had to adjust to the new life style of the people there. Since she was considered high middle class with money they assigned her a family she could work with. The family consisted of a single mother her daughters.

The family that she got to work with was from Kurdish. The family travelled from Kurdish to Iraq to Iran to Pakistan and finally to Nebraska in the United States. Mary talks about her encounter with the family and how the daughters were so friendly and how they tended to laugh things off when in reality they were hurting. She talks about her journey with them, how she taught the girls how to drive, helped a girl get enrolled in community college, how she spent the fourth of July and Halloween with them and how amazed the family was.  She teaches them some English while they teach her their native language, they make dinner for her and they form a tight relationship.  She does all this because she feels a genuine connection with them, but also because she knows that they need help with their transition to a new life.

Mary Piper book discuss some issues that I know my refugee family has come across, unfortunately I was not there to help them and experience that wonderful feeling of getting to help out. However, I can connect with the fact that she formed a connection with the family. My family is from Napal and consists of four people: the mom, dad, grandma and their only child. Although they only have one daughter, there house is always full with children let it be there niece, or their friends children.

The first time my partner and I went to visit them we went to our mentors apartment to get to know the kids and form a friendship. I met the daughter, one of her cousins and two of her friends. When I met them it was not as awkward as I thought it would be. The kids were very outgoing and social. The kids attempted to play Rock Band and when they were struggling I would try to teach them, but they were having a hard time so I let them try their best and encourage them that they were doing good. Before, we took the kid’s home our mentor warned us that the family had bed bugs. I was concerned because I did not know if I was going to get a bad reaction if I were to get bitten. We went to take the kids home and that’s when I met the mom dad and grandma. The parents were extremely nice; they smiled at us and made us feel at ease, which in my opinion is hard to do because they are letting in a complete stranger in their home.

The following visits we meet the kids at the park and played with them for a while. We have a good connection with the kids because they, just like us, are open to get to know each other and become friends. The kids are very loving and I appreciate that they accept us. That same day we brought some food- milk, apples, oranges and bananas-for the family and when the mom seen the food she became so happy that my eyes became watery. I got emotional because I take these foods for granted and to see someone to ecstatic just made me want to give them more of my attention and love. The next visit we helped the kids with their homework, which is usually our routine when we go. For the first hour or two we help all five kids with their assignments and then talk or play games. While we are helping the kids with the homework the mom usually brings us tea. I do not like tea but I force myself to drink it so she won’t feel bad. The mom always has food waiting for us and before we leave we eat. The food is spicy and I do not eat spicy food because I get hear burn fast, but I drink lots of water so I can finish the food.

The mom and dad are very friendly and always greet us with a warm smile, however the grandma is the one who has an unpleasant look on her face when we are there.  I feel that she does not like me because she gives me weird looks that imply that. Knowing this, I try to make an effort to get to know her and talk to her. In one visit the grandma and the mom did a fish tail braid on one of my mentors and I was observing them. When I got back to the room I did the fish tail braid-for the very first time- on my roommate and I took pictures. When I went back to visit them I told the mom and grandma what I had done and they were both very happy for me. In this recent visit, my partner and I were talking to the mom about our family and she was talking to use about her family. At that moment, I felt like she trusted us enough to talk about her family and where they got resettled. I felt very happy because I knew that I had gained their trust.

I have a wonderful time meeting with my family that I feel like I am contributing and making a difference, even though we don’t help with major issues like other kids have done. I have a unique connection with every kid and I hope they feel that they have a connection with me too because I try to talk to them and be open. A moment that I felt strengthen my bond with the kids was when they taught us how to play rocks, a game the played while at the camps in Napal. The kids were very excited to show us how to play that, when I got back to my room I practiced so I can be better the next time we play and they can see how interested I am in this game.

I absolutely appreciate and care about my family and I’m happy that we have this connection, but none of this would have been possible if I didn’t have three other mentors. One mentor is from Napal so she translates things for us when we don’t understand each other. They have made things so much easier and more comfortable for us.

So far, Claire and I have met with our refugee family a few times, and everything has gone well. They are from the Congo and spent some time in a camp in Kenya before coming to the United States. We have spent the most time with Sarah, who is twenty-two years old. We also see her brother, Jim most of the time. They live together in an apartment right off the El. Their father lives in walking distance from the apartment, so they visit him frequently. They also have two little brothers who live with their father but come visit them at the apartment on the weekends. Overall, there have not been any big problems with our refugee family; we are lucky that we all get along. They are so grateful for our help, but I feel like we have not done much for them.

The first time we visited was good because we all got to know each other a little bit. Despite only being here for three months, both Sarah and Jim speak English very well. I struggle with understanding thick accents, but they both speak slowly and use simple sentence structures. Therefore, communication has not been a problem yet, and I doubt it will for the remainder of our visits. There are some awkward silences in our conversation, but our mentor, Julia, told us that her she has had some families where the conversations are much more silently awkward. I understand that this is normal, but I would like to eliminate them as much as possible. Jim once said, “Talk!” in a slightly joking/serious tone during a silence, so I assume he does not like them either. I thought that Julia was a little blunt when the first questions she asked them were their ages and if they had jobs or not, but sometimes that is the only way to get the information you need in order to know how to help the family. In my first reflection, I expressed much apprehension in conversation topics, but now I understand that you pick up what is okay to discuss and what is a touchy subject. So far, we have not found any subjects to avoid. However, I want to work on keeping conversation going since a large percentage of the time we spend together is chatting.

I realized the last visit that I need to avoid colloquialisms and slang, or confusing terms in general (Pipher 354). The three of us were talking with Jim about the sea, and I brought up mermaids because Claire liked them when she was younger. However, this brought on a slightly chaotic conversation because he did not know what a mermaid was. Then, after we explained what it was, he thought that they were real creatures. I am not sure if he ever understood what a mermaid is or that it is a fictitious creature. It was not even a relevant comment to make. In general, Claire does a much better job at conveying her thoughts with our refugee family than I do because she uses simpler words and explanations. I will try to do the same in our future visits.

One minor challenge we had during one visit was that Sarah got locked in the bathroom. This happens frequently, and Jim gets her out by jiggling a knife in between the door and the door frame. However, he was not there this particular time so we had to figure out how to do it. It was a stressful situation because Sarah was getting very distressed, and we did not know how to unlock the door. Eventually, Claire got the door unlocked. We went to the superintendent to address the door issue, and I personally thought that she was a little condescending until we explained that the lock was faulty. The superintendent assumed that Sarah was incompetent and did not understand how to lock and unlock the door. It was at this moment that I realized the importance of cultural brokers. Mary Pipher emphasized the importance of cultural brokers from pages 88 to 95. Sarah knew where the superintendent’s office was, so I am not sure if Sarah knew that she could go to the superintendent to get the door fixed. While it seems like such a simple thing, getting locked in the bathroom with no one around to free you would be a terrible experience. I am glad that we got the door fixed, but I hope that if there is a problem in the future (and there most likely will be), Sarah or Jim will go to the superintendent to try to get it solved.

Right now, Sarah has pneumonia, and she has had it for about two weeks. I do not know much about pneumonia, but I can tell that Claire is really worried about her. Claire is pre-med knows a lot about illness, so her worry is valid. Sarah told us that she went to the hospital and that the doctors there gave her medicine and instructed her to sleep a lot. But, she made us a Congolese meal while sick, which no doubt took a long time. I know that there is not much that we can do to help with this, other than remind her to sleep, drink water, and take her medicine religiously. Jim told us that she is not getting any better, so I hope that he is taking care of her. All that we can do is take it one visit at a time and help in any way that we can without stepping over the “help boundary.”

Right now, our biggest goal is to try to get Sarah and Jim jobs. Two visits ago, Julia, Claire, Sarah, and I went to the IC and created a resume for her. We also job hunted a little. For now, we think that the only job she can get is at a fast food restaurant or at a hotel, which she has some experience with. I cannot believe how appreciative she was when we left the IC. It seemed like she had a little bit of hope that things were going to turn around. We should probably explain that the job market is tough right now and that they should not expect to get jobs right away. I hope that that all comes together because I can tell that she is a hard worker. We also plan on helping Jim make a résumé. He is not always at the apartment when we visit, so I hope that we can fit that in with the remainder of our time.

At this point in the semester, visiting our refugee family has become an important part of my week. It is something I look forward to and the time flies during our visits. The Burmese family is composed of a mother, father, and five children including two girls in high school, a boy in fifth grade, one in third grade, and the smallest we call “Little Brother.” Although I know our peer mentor, my partner, and I are helping the family by being their befrienders, I feel a great sense of gratitude for the family and their acts of kindness toward us.
My first visit included only my peer mentor and me so I was introduced separately. I was so anxious not knowing what to expect, but the family was extremely nice. We sat in a circle and said our name and some facts about each of us. I found it interesting that one of the girls knew a Tagalog (Filipino) word that meant “older sister” and referred to me as such, “Ate,” pronounced as ah-teh. They also got my name quickly because they had a friend with the same name, which was a great icebreaker. It was surprising at how welcome I felt after a two-hour visit. I even stayed longer than planned since the mother needed help with the census since a representative was going to call to ask questions. This is an example of Mary Pipher’s explanation of how refugees must deal with many bureaucracies. After this other types of paperwork like answering questions about eyeglass prescription must be answered and can be very tedious. With some miscommunication, we find out that they already answered the questions over the phone even though we spent a while working on the questions. I spent most of my time helping the fifth grade boy with his science homework. Afraid of any language barrier and aware of our age difference I was wary about how I phrased explanations. I wanted to lead him to the right train of thought without giving away the answer easily. It is very helpful that my partner knows Thai and can communicate with the mother. Before this, I do not think our peer mentor and her previous partner were able to communicate with her as well since the children usually act as translators. The children are pretty fluent in English, but sometimes I talk to fast to them and forget to slow down and enunciate my words better.
One challenge being a befriender faces is the concept of time. “For newcomers from slow cultures time is a river that flows through their lives” (Pipher 73). An example of this is one time we were able to come on a weekday, but only my partner and I, and help one of the sisters go to CVS to get a money order to use for payment for driving school. After our journey to the store, we return to their home and help with some homework. We tell them we cannot stay as long as we usually do and give them the time we must go, which seems short not considering the time spent going to the store. The third grade girl calmly comments, “At least we get an hour with you.” She seemed very appreciative of this one hour we spent together. I felt a pang of guilt for having to go, but I could not give all my time because I still had a meeting to go to and homework to do. In this instance I remember about learning about the different concept of time for Americans. I do not want to be a slave to clock but I also want to teach the family about planning out your day effectively.
Another important point I have learned from my experience with refugees is we often take our housing necessities for granted. I appreciate the bed I sleep on and the room I share with only one other person. The desk I have to myself becomes more valuable to me after helping the children with homework. There is only carpet in the living room and no couches. There is a single table in the room that has the computer and other items on it. The kitchen is adjacent to this room and there is a dining table in the corner that does not fully seat the family (I know this because after spending an afternoon with the family, they invite us to eat with them but it is only us three befrienders who sit a the table with room for two kids in the spaces between us). The family never complains about the set up and I do not mind sitting on the floor doing homework or eating snacks. However, I think it would be better if they had a place with more than one bedroom since the kids are growing up and getting bigger, it’s difficult to be comfortable in a small bedroom to sleep. One of the kids said she sleeps very early since her dad gets up early to work. I admire the unity with the family demonstrated in their interaction with each other. They always have Burmese coffee for us and sometimes give us croissant rolls that deliciously go with the warm beverage. The mom or one of the kids gives us our cup with a huge smile on their face and I cannot help but smile as well. On my first visit I was touched that they gifted me a large container of instant mixes of cereal drink similar to the coffee. The new family I have befriended has quickly become my family away from home.
Another challenge is finding a consistent day to visit since it is difficult synchronizing free blocks in three schedules and making sure the family’s needs are met. Our visits seem to be timed well when we do go. They also go to church, which is a great community builder. All three of us have a busy schedule and the high school girls have activities to do like choir or tutoring. The youngest girl is always eager to have us over and expresses so much excitement when we say we are coming over soon. Helping the mother improve her English and be confident when she speaks is one of our personal goals. This is necessary for her to get a job and think about a brighter future, because recently she expressed how it is difficult not having great English after her being here as long as she has. Refugees need the encouragement and guidance to keep going. With our numerous visits, I have begun to get closer and started to know each family member a little better. Recently I talked to the father for the first time after several weeks of visit; it was a big difference from before when he did not acknowledge our presence when we came to visit. I just said thank you and he responded thank you back with a smile as I was leaving this previous Saturday by myself since I stayed to help with a long homework assignment. Times may be tough but this family shows optimism for a better future and needs to continuously be positively reinforced that “Yes, you can do it.”
In the beginning I was so focused on how I could help the refugee family in many aspects of life that I was not able to reflect on how they would change how I view everything. I am more aware of my surroundings and the life of an important group of people in the world’s society. I tell as many people as I can about this incredible opportunity of service and how they can help and spread awareness. Like our guest speakers have expressed, education is one of the most important steps in helping the refugee experience.

When we first met our refugee family, the family was very welcoming. The family gave us snacks and made us Chai tea. The family greatly appreciated our help. The family we are working with has two young kids and one older daughter. The young boy was in first grade and the young girl was in third grade while the eldest daughter was in eighth grade. Both of the young kids knew English pretty well and understood most of their homework. The eldest daughter spoke very little English and has a hard time understanding her homework. She didn’t like receiving help and would deny our help. She was the one who wanted to try her homework first and then ask for help when she really needed it. Because the daughter had a hard time understanding English we would work slowly with her and be patient. In Mary Pipher’s “The Middle Of Everywhere”, she wrote basic tips when working with people for whom English is a new language. She wrote to use short simple sentences and to speak slowly, which we did while we were helping the eldest daughter. Pipher also wrote to pause frequently to make sure they fully understand and to use hand gestures for them to better understand. When we were helping the mom study for her driver’s test, we would use hand gestures to help her memorize the street signs. For example, for a stop sign, we would put our hand up and she would understand that would mean to stop. So when she was studying the signs she would remember each hand gesture and then know what each sign means. During our visits we would help the kids and the mom with their homework and then afterwards we would play games with the kids. We played jacks and shoots and ladders with the kids and they really enjoyed it. Another time the mom showed us a Hindi film, which she tried to explain the song the actors were singing was about their love for each other. I could understand some Hindi so I got an idea of what the song was about. Our last visit we met the sister-in-law’s dad and the mom’s aunt. Both of them were very welcoming and the dad appreciated us for helping the kids with their English and homework. At the end of our visit the dad gave us hugs as well as the mom for helping them. We mention if they wanted to go to the zoo when it gets warmer and they were excited about it so we are trying to find a good day to go to the zoo. Julie might bring her other refugee family as well so both families can connect.
One challenge we are facing is the eldest daughter asked if we could bring easy reading books to help her with her English. We told her we will try to get her some books or worksheets that will help her with her English. Dr. Amick has provided us with some ELL resources on blackboard that might help with her English. Most of the documents he has provided include basic reading paragraphs from the easiest level to the hardest level of reading. He has also provided some ELL lesson plans which include basic words for them to learn like descriptive words, emotions, body parts, names of states, names of presidents, street maps, and CTA routes. There were also lessons on currency, holidays, and counting. We will print these lessons out and see if these will help her with her English.
Another challenge we are facing is time and availability of the family. We started off meeting the family at 2:00 pm on Sunday and we thought that the family agreed on this time but when we when were checking to make sure that we were coming at 2 the next Sunday they said Sunday’s don’t work for them and we should come on Monday at 2 pm. For us Monday’s are really busy because we have classes until 3:30. We made a time arrangement and visited them at 4. For us, weekdays are really busy because we have midterms, projects, papers, and meeting to attend to. Eventually Julie talked with the sister-in-law and found a good time that works for the family and us. We now meet the family on Sunday at 4:00 pm. When we were discussing this with the sister-in-law she was saying that we can drop by anytime during the weekdays but it was a little frustrating because she didn’t fully understand that we have other work to do and that we need an exact time to come there.
These experiences aren’t affecting me in a bad way but it is affecting me in a good way because I know this family wants our help and I know time is a problem for both of us but both of us are making this work. After meeting my refugee family I feel very confident that we will get a lot from this experience. I think we will understand the hardships refugees go through first hand rather than just learning it in class and I think from these hardships we will learn to do something about it. Dr. Amick wants us to get involved and make people aware to the refugee situation and I think by doing fundraisers and events we will get people’s interests and also speaking about our own experiences to family and friends will also gain attention and make people start talking about this issue. I really enjoy helping our refugee family and I am looking forward for our next visit. Everyday is a new experience with our refugee family.

Going into a house where people have gone through terrible experiences can be quite  difficult, you might never feel like you can relate to the person. It has been a little over two months since we started visiting a Bhutanese refugee family and luckily for us, our friendship has greatly expanded. This family has two daughters, one is eighteen and the other is twenty-one, so my partner, Camila Rochin, and I can relate with these girls quite a bit. Every Thursday evening that we go visit the family, we not only help them with their homework, but we spend quite a long time just catching up on weekly events and having personal talks with the girls as well. It is not just a friendly visit to see our refugee family, but it is a few hours to just relax, take time off from our busy lives at Loyola, and bond with my Bhutanese friends. Watching the smiles on their faces and their genuine gratitude for our help, makes it worthwhile to dedicate my time on enriching myself in the Bhutanese culture and revealing the true American culture to this family.

We have a large family to work with, but we mainly focus on the two daughters and sometimes their nephew. They both are currently enrolled in college, where they take math classes and are in ESL (English as a Second Language) classes. Despite their enrollment into ESL classes, their english is excellent for having learned it in America at the ages of about sixteen-eighteen. Though they can speak it well, writing can be tricky and some of their homework question get me confused because proper English and common English don’t always go hand-in-hand. Statistics and algebra are what these girls are enrolled in and it can sometimes get difficult for them to understand many of the concepts. Their diligence for education and determined work ethic are two admirable qualities these girls possess. Every week, before our tasty snack and our long life talks, we must get through I’d say 90% of their homework with no distractions. They have such a motivation to prosper and are extremely focused on having successful lives in America, that I have learned from them to really focus on the prize and focus on taking advantage of all my opportunities at Loyola since many people may not be so lucky as to have these opportunities available for them.

They have an eight year old nephew who we sometimes work with as well. Our main focus with him is to teach him how the American currency system works. We spend hours just going over what quantity the penny, nickel, dime and quarter represent and adding them together. The parents do not know how the currency system works here in America so it is really useful for the nephew to know. This can be a great responsibility because we are showing an eight year old the basics of money, but it is a general life lesson he must learn. As we are counting coins and adding quarters, I’ve noticed how the mother is actively listening and trying to understand as well. We are not their to make the family feel uncomfortable, so by showing the little nephew how to count money, we can indirectly be showing the whole family as well.

I remember going into this experience not knowing what to expect but the worst. I wasn’t sure of what language barrier there would be or if the family was going to be going through culture shock and I wouldn’t be able to help. I was fortunate enough to not only get an outstanding family that has been living here for about two years now, but I wasn’t completely lost on the subject either. Mary Pipher’s novel “The Middle of Everywhere,” has been a great read while going through this refugee experience. In the novel, Pipher describes her work with hundreds of refugees she’s come into contact with in her hometown of Lincoln, Nebraska. Pipher talks about the times she worked with an ESL teacher for young refugee children and their optimistic views on learning everyday despite their horrific past. The way Pipher depicts many of the scenes in the novel reminds me of my own experience with my Bhutanese family. I can always expect a smile from every one as they invite me in their home and as they thank me for my work on my way out. Seeing all the looks on all their faces makes this experience feel not like a volunteering opportunity, but like getting school credit for going to visit some close friends of mine ones a week.

My experience with the refugee family changed my views quite a lot. Before I started meeting them I was looking at the whole picture with more of a political view, in a larger form where I thought I had a place to make a difference or do something in a way that could make a permanent change. However, my interactions with the family proved me that instead, what they needed was close kinship and help with daily life. It is more about helping within the community, reaching out to ones with littlest things but from sincerity that really mattered and were appreciated.

When I first visited my refugee family, I was very surprised by their warm welcome and their willingness to approach me. The children were very social and out going. I almost felt as though it was them that were befriending me. Their positive attitudes made me wonder if they went through any hard times at all, at least for the three children I met that day. For the first two times I visited, everything was very smooth and effortless. They offered us food, drinks and they were very open minded. My role was very directed towards helping them with homework and tutoring them. We would stay there for three hours each day and just laugh, eat, relax and work. However, as I realized that the mother could speak Thai, she started to tell me how hard it was for her to find jobs and she also expressed that she needed help learning English as well. Every conversation we had was somewhat directed to her survival and her hard effort in feeding her family of five children, seven members including the parents. As mentioned multiple times via lecture and speeches by other visitors, the family as well, was going through harsh times of survival and I was very impressed by the children’s attitudes. They were always very well mannered, mature and independent. They all did their part to help out with the family and I thought maybe this is their way of survival and resilience.

One of the challenges that I observed the family was facing would be ability to express. This is more of an issue for the parents, because of they need jobs and the mother especially is having a hard time, to the point where she is considering moving to Thailand. She is attending an academy to improve her English however she feels that it is going slow. I believe that this applies to what Piper mentions in the book about the twelve traits refugees must have in order to succeed in America as a newcomer. I personally believe that the mother might need more ambition and initiative and encouragement to boost up her confidence and belief in herself to continue what she has been doing for the past three years. Instead of choosing to go back as the children have been successfully adapting and learning very fast. To address this problem, my partner and I try our best to help the mother with her English as well. I understand that conversing in Thai maybe easy for her, but I try to use English for any simple sentences and she is very happy to respond in English as well.

The children address to us what they need. For example, one of the older girls needed help to get a check from CVS and we were more than happy to accompany her, and younger children not only invite us to their school events but also visit Loyola to join track and field clinic offered by the athlete’s team. I strongly believe that the children are all off to the very good start and way into success here in America. Despite all the effort and hard time the parents are going through the children have positive mindset, good health, and they love meeting new people. So I try my best to encourage them to do their best in school and help in anyway possible. I am very thankful for the opportunity to meet the family and I honestly feel that I am learning so much more than I should be providing to my family. My whole definition of help and love has changed. I am very grateful for their acceptance of the little things I offer to them and I am very happy to be able to see joy in them.

The refugee experience is an arduous one that does not easily come to an end. Now having experience with getting to know a family of refugees, and having the opportunity to assist them in whatever way possible, my worldview has become more enlarged than I ever thought possible. I have been visiting a family of Iraqi refugees with my partner Zachary “The Bronco” Springer for the past few months. We have bonded with our family and have learned greatly from one another. In particular, we worked with the children of the family of five, consisting of two brothers each around the age of sixteen, a mother, a father, and a grandmother. I see now first hand, just how the kids appreciated my help, making me feel like my work is worthwhile. During my time volunteering, I’ve had the chance to explore a new culture, and exchange ideas with the family. In turn, my exposure to a foreign country has expanded my vision, making me a more well rounded individual as I got to discover more about the family’s refugee journey.
My partner and I have focused mainly on assisting the two kids, Asif and Yasser. They both take similar classes in a Chicago public high school, and both are in ESL (English as a Second Language) classes. Despite the fact that both kids are in ESL, their English is excellent. Granted, there are a few vocabulary words and semantics questions they sometimes ask us about, but they still excel in English. In terms of academia overall, they both seem to do pretty well in school, even though they often ask us for geometry help. They both enjoy soccer very much, however, they are unfortunately Barcelona fans. As a Real Madrid fan, we often exchange playful banter with each other, making fun of each other’s respected teams. We have only briefly met the parents and grandmother, since they always seem to be out. Although we have bonded with the family, there are still aspects of their refugee experience that remains a mystery.
Their journey began in Iraq, where the youngest son, Yasser, was born with a life threatening disease. As to what this disease is, we have yet to find out. Since Iraq has been war stricken, they were forced to move to Egypt, where they were able to have access to the hospitals needed to keep Yasser in good health. They remained in Egypt comfortably for five years, where they went to school and enjoyed the culture and beauty of Egypt. Unfortunately, they fell victim to the Arab Spring while in Egypt, which displaced them and they found their way to Chicago. It was Asif who told me this, and while he was telling me this, his eyes started to tear up, and it reminded me of just how traumatic the refugee experience must be. I didn’t want to ask him any future questions about his journey to America just yet, since it was clear to see that this is a very painful subject for him and his brother to talk about. It seems that it will take more family visits before Asif and Yasser are able to tell us more about their story. Recently, they told us how their dad has a back injury, and that makes it very hard for him to work. Clearly times are tough for the family, since the father seems to have a job, but he is slightly disabled. Not only that, but he was rejected in his attempt to receive disability benefits. The family’s circumstances remind me just how human refugees are.
The bond between my refugee family and myself is one that will hopefully be last a lifetime. It is very difficult for someone to open up about such a traumatic experience that would leave an entire family displaced. The fact that the two children even told us slightly about their journey to America makes me feel like we are gaining the trust, and I want no reason for them to distrust me. My partner and I do what we can to assist the family, however, they seem to have no problems adjusting into American society. The only thing that may be a concern is the English skills of the mother and father, although I am told the mother speaks English very well, but she is just to shy to speak it. The boys both seem to have promising futures, and both seem to want to get into to medicine, where they can go back to Iraq and assist in their home country. Their journey is one that shows that sheer determination and will power, along with the human spirit, can aid a human being in prevailing over any arduous task that they may face, and they do so with a smile in the end.