When I first heard about this project, I was instantly excited – I couldn’t believe that I could be a part of such an amazing opportunity like this where I could actually make a difference. As the reality settled in, however, so did the trepidation. How would I breech the language barrier? What would these people think of me? As we have been reading What is the What, I have come to realize that there are multiple facets to the stages refugees go through with respect to their relationship towards Americans.
For example, when Achak (Valentino) first arrived here, he was very grateful of all the help he was receiving, but at the same time he was very suspicious, or rather, just simply at a loss as to why these people would go out of their way (most times without compensation or pay) to help refugees. As we have continued reading this novel, it becomes apparent that relations between refugees and Americans can become very particular, and much more complex than they seem to need to be. For example, in Achak’s situation, when his friends (or even himself) were given luxuries by their American sponsors and others weren’t, it caused friction between the refugees.
All of these thoughts and more have been going around in my head as I remember that I have to be ever conscious of the different cultures and customs I will be interacting with on a personal level. In class we have learned about all the different people that interact with new refugees, and almost all of them are social workers or people that don’t really take the time to develop relationships with the family – they are a very impersonal presence that could be gone at any moment. It quickly becomes overwhelming to try and distinguish a boundary or a kind of distinct relationship while trying to communicate to our family that while we are there to help, we are not there to provide for them, but that we are there as potential friends. Especially when neither party speaks the same language, it is hard to communicate this while still coming off as being genuine about wanting to be of assistance to them.
At the same time, my peer mentor, Cody, said something to my partner Chelsea and I that was so true I was puzzled as to why I hadn’t seen it earlier. He said to “just remember that they’re people too.” Sure, this phrase sounds obvious enough, but it goes further than recognizing that we are all people. It sets a new mindset that basically says that you may not overcome all of the cultural and language barriers, but if you put yourself out there and are genuine, anyone will recognize the effort.
My partner Chelsea and I could not have been happier with our family. We knew that we wanted young children to help ease the tension, and as we both have experience with little kids (either through siblings, babysitting, or both), we felt it would be a good place to start. When we found out our family had two little girls (13 months and four years old), we couldn’t have been more excited. Our excitement just came naturally – these children weren’t any different than our siblings, than the girls we babysit. We began to brainstorm what we could do when we go to meet – we could bring coloring books and crayons, we could bake cookies, or bring magnetic letters for their fridge. Although we haven’t been able to meet with the family personally yet, Chelsea and I are very excited, if only a little nervous, to finally meet them.
Our peer mentor Cody demonstrated only too well what we have been discussing in class when he told us that the family may have been relocated to a different state, but that he wasn’t sure. It seems like such a strange concept to me. And not just in this situation – but for example, in my class there are many details, which are essential, but are just missing. This is the nature of refugee work we were told. Despite being told about this, it doesn’t make it any easier to accept. How can we not know where our family is? Well, going back to my trepidation, it’s not terribly difficult to see how refugees can sometimes fall between the cracks. Dealing and interacting with refugees requires effort and personal determination. The language barrier in itself is personally daunting – then throw in the fact that they know nothing of American culture, that they may have only just arrived from witnessing horrific events that no one should ever have to experience, and when you get right down to it, you realize that they just need a friend, or a guide. And that’s where we come in.
Being needed is a very persuasive motivator, in my opinion. This leads me to what I hope to get out of the experience. I hope to make a difference for someone, a real difference. Whether it be to solve a family crisis or to put a smile on their face for that day. I know now that whichever family Chelsea and I are placed with, I will be a little less nervous and much more willing to help them out – just as I would hope they would help me out if our positions were reversed.