Sorry there are two posts in a row from me! The last one was from a week ago and I apparently saved it as a draft and hadn’t actually published it.

It’s the last week of the semester and therefore the last week of our Refugee Resettlement class. My partners and I are all heading home for the summer, so we won’t be here to visit our family. I’m leaving Loyola to become part of an Americorps program back home in Minnesota called Minnesota Reading Corps, where I will be working in a school tutoring k-3 kids who are behind in reading. I’m really can’t wait!

But it was sad having to say goodbye to our family.We ended up going by at a different time than we normally do, so we were hoping they would be home. Some of them were there, but sadly not all of them. We brought them the community resource guide that our fellow classmates made and they seemed to appreciate that. Emily also brought them a box of sidewalk chalk that we were hoping to use outside with them… but it was barely 50 degrees out and cloudy, not the ideal weather. They were excited to go out and try it! We had to make sure they understood that it was for the sidewalk and not for inside though.

It was definitely difficult telling them we wouldn’t be coming by each week anymore. We hoped that they understood, and that it was great  spending time with them and helping them as much as we could. We’re hoping that someone from the ECAC will be able to go and visit them this summer!

I learned a lot things in this class and working with our family. First of all about the plight of refugees and how we can help. It’s definitely something I’m going to look into continuing to help with in the future. I also learned patience and humility when spending time with our family. It could be awkward, but ti was also fun and I hope it helped them as much as it helped us.

So my group member Emily brought red velvet cupcakes that she had made for our family this week. I never thought that I would ever meet someone that has NEVER had a cupcake, but these girls hadn’t! They didn’t know how to eat it or what to do with the wrapper, which just shows how wrapped up in Western culture and the culture of consumerism in the US. The older girls ate all of the frosting right away before even getting to the cake! And the younger girl actually bit right through all of it! It was also pretty difficult to explain why the cake was red even though it was chocolate.

We also helped with homework again, and Priya took care of the math homework this time thankfully. I helped the 6th grade girl with science homework, and it seems like she was really under prepared to complete it. It was all about the different parts of the earth’s core and she was supposed to have a reference sheet as a guide for the different terms but she didn’t. She couldn’t really explain why she didn’t have it, so either she was expected to do homework that she didn’t know anything about or she just left it at school… I have a feeling it was that the teacher didn’t really explain the homework or the terms, which is frustrating.

Our Disney movie of the week? Pocahontas. The girls loved it, they liked the animals and all the singing. However, I haven’t seen it since I was little…. and some of it was as I remembered, but other parts, like the song “Savages,” I totally didn’t remember. My partners and I were just gaping at the lyrics but the girls didn’t really notice. It was probably the wrong choice of movie, but so it goes.

Last week, I had time to go to Patel Brothers down Devon in order to get some of the puffed rice and jelapi that the G family loves and that I couldn’t seem to find anywhere else. I also grabbed a tube of mehndi paste for C and once Brian and I showed what we had brought, all of the little girls in the apartment quickly requested a mehndi tattoo. While I applied mehndi, Brian assisted J and S with their homework while the usual ten or so visitors came in and out of the G’s apartment. After things had settled down a bit, I inquired J about her health and learned that she had an upcoming doctor’s appointment for her chronic pain. I offered to bring her to the clinic and when I showed up a few days later to take her, J’s brother and one of her in-laws who also had a doctor’s appointment was also there to greet me. J’s brother explained both of the women’s situations to me and after learning that J has been struggling with her pain for SEVEN years and that the other woman was going to find out the results of a pregnancy test, I knew I was in for more than I had originally anticipated.

The women usually walk to the clinic from the Morse area to Thorndale but I had CTA passes ready so we could check in earlier. After seeing the women’s terrified expressions on the escalator, I gathered it was their first time using one and was quickly reminded how new everything must still feel to these women and how prolonged the adjustment period really is. Once we arrived at the clinic, the waiting room was already packed with people speaking all sorts of languages but I could definitely tell everything was just background noise to J and her relative who were anxiously awaiting their appointments. I tried to distract the women by helping me practice Nepali and asking them about their families and thankfully, a moment of comedic relief occurred when J kept telling me that her sister in Michigan was “pat-nan”. Possessing the hearing ability of a 90 year-old woman, I kept thinking that J was saying that her sister was “Batman” and thoroughly puzzled, I started flapping my arms like I had wings while saying, “bat????”. Another Nepali woman next to us clarified the situation by explaining that J was trying to say “pregnant” and we all had a good laugh about it. Once the doctor was ready to see all of us, he was incredibly kind and even greeted the women with, “Namaste” as he entered the room. After relaying all of the women’s information to the doctor, I learned that J was going to need a referral to get an MRI and that her relative was indeed pregnant. Although she already seemed to know, I still felt a little out of my element telling a woman I had just met, “yes baby” in Nepali and I can’t even imagine what it was like on her side of the situation.

After new appointments had been made, we all headed back to ama’s house where I was warmly greeted with a hug and all sorts of Nepali food. At one point I was asked, “Tapaili kasi mon parcha?” (Do you like goat?) and after saying that I had never tried it before, a bowl of kasi suddenly materialized before me. I feigned a smile while eating it but I have to say, it was a little dark and chewy for my liking. Once it was time for me to go, J walked me out and told me that I was a big help. Although I was very grateful for the kind words, sometimes I feel like I have been getting more out of this experience than the G family has. It has always been a great pleasure spending time with the G family in any capacity and I look forward to many more happy visits with them as long as I am in Chicago.

Finally we were able to meet with Carrie and I’s family for the first time in a couple weeks, and man did they fix up the place. They now had a tv bigger than mine! We spent the first thirty minutes or so watching figure skating and baseball. I realized that explaining the rules and concepts of baseball is actually really hard. We didn’t plan on going out to eat since it was around 1 on a Wednesday and figured they’d already eaten. The woman went into the kitchen about an hour within us being there and I knew what that went. She started whipping out veggies, noodles, and spices out of the fridge and started to get to work. I can’t tell you how good the smell of the food she was making was but I was out of this world. While she was cooking, we found out that the husband had made it out to Navy Pier and that he applied to restaurant. The one thing I noticed week in and week out was the motivation the man possessed in finding a job and providing for his wife and future family. Last time we visited he showed us certificates he received from his training done at one of the hotels downtown, and I could tell how proud he was of these. It seems that it would be easy to fall under the “honeymoon” spell and not feel like you had to work, but from the gitgo he was determined to find a job. The man’s sister arrived with a toddler that was around the age of two. The toddler began to cry and the husband’s wife went over to console the toddler. It was touching to see the kind of affection she had towards the toddler and it reminded me of when I watched and babysat my niece. The food she made was beyond delicious, and  I took seconds as always.

So Carrie and I decided that we’d meet them on the Thursday of Easter vacation since we didn’t have anything going on. We called the family all week making sure we wouldn’t have any miscommunication like we did last week. But when we arrived, they weren’t there. It was as if God did not want these people to experience the greatness and deliciousness of a cheeseburger. We left a note and received a call later saying that there was an emergency and that they were very sorry. We assured them that it was alright and that things out of our control do happen and that we understood. We planned to meet Sunday and promised we would go to a museum. Sunday rolled around and I realized that everything would be closed since it was Easter. Before I could call, the husband called me and said that he could not make it and again apologized every 5 seconds. I told him that it was alright and that we’d meet another time. Another week rolls around and guess what, I get sick on Saturday morning and call to tell him that we could not make it again. He too was also sick so it worked out to the best.

In planning our visit, we talked to our family about how much we should go to the museum and how we should introduce them to some real, American food. We said that we could not probably go to the museum, but that we would go out to eat and introduce them to the grand-daddy of them all, a cheeseburger. When we arrived, the wife was getting all fixed up, and I thought, “where do they think we’re going.” When the husband got back to his apartment, we realized that they thought we were going to the museum. It crushed my heart to tell them that we could not go, but that we could go to the nearest burger joint to grab a bite to eat. When we asked them if they wanted to go, they said they had eaten about a prior before. Carrie and I felt so bad but suprisingly they were so gracious and adjustable. We started talking and I noticed right away how much the woman’s English had improved, and she even felt comfortable enough to help her with her homework. The homework she showed us was a lot more advanced than I thought it would be. Hell, I couldn’t even come up with an answer for some. But the thing I started to realize that the level of trust and comfort the woman must have had in us to ask us to help her with her homework. I know from experience that asking someone who’s way more advanced than you in a certain subject can be intimidating. After we helped her with her homework, they as always prepared a delicious dish of noodles and spices.

I forgot to mention in my last post that the family had recently acquired a portable DVD player. So I thought I’d bring to them this week a classic “American” movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. When Carrie and I got there, the husband and wife welcomed us with warm greetings. The wife’s sister was also there and as always, they were preparing us a Nepali dish called mumu (sp.???). We sat down on their couch and realized how much their apartment had changed since we visited our first time. It seemed like a completely different place because they added so much new furniture. As we talked to the man we found out that he was concluding his job training at the hotel and looked to be optimistic about his progress. As we chatted, I noticed that the woman and her sister were alone in the kitchen, so Carrie and I decided to check it out. How they were preparing the food was unbelievable. They made food as if they were creating a piece of artwork. Carrie and I asked if we could help in making mumu and as expected we failed miserably, all of us laughed together. That’s another thing I noticed since our first visit, the laughter and a comfortable feeling in being with them. We first came as strangers, not knowing what the accept, but since then I feel like we’ve become friends.

Walking up to the door of our family’s apartment Nick gave us a 60% chance of success in this meeting. Meaning it would not be surprising if something hadn’t been communicated well so they wouldn’t be home to meet us. I was SO relieved when Bishnu answered the door with his customary big warm smile. It struck me how different he looks now than when we first met. His hair is longer and shaggy and the American diet, or perhaps the sedentary lifestyle that is the result of winter weather, has had somewhat of an effect on his mid section.. But more importantly, he is in good spirits and is more comfortable with us. Mira, his wife, is also the same way. Her English has improved so much and I can tell she understands a lot of what we say. One of their nieces, a 2 year old, was over and had to be comforted by Mira several times she started to cry. It was touching how well Mira handled this little girl because 1. she is not yet even a mother herself and 2. she is younger than me. I know her and Bishnu are going to make great parents if/when they chose/happen to have a kid/kids. Seeing how well they have adapted to their life in Chicago I have confidence that they will do very well in handling any obstacle life brings.

A sunny beautiful Saturday afternoon at the zoo. What more could we ask for! I picked up the mom and the two boys around noon from their house. I offered for the mother to sit in the front seat of the car but she insisted on sitting in the back with the boys, I felt like a cab driver! We picked up Macrina and went to the zoo! When we arrived, everyone was so excited. Their eyes were focused on so many different things at once and seem to be almost overwhelmed with which direction to take first. As we walked in, the mom ran her hands across the fence outside of the zoo, she turned to me and laughed and said, “This looks just like my country”. I was a little take back by the comment as I didn’t have anything to say in response. As we toured around, it was fun to engage in an activity with the kids that wasn’t homework or a board game. I think it is a rare that they get to leave their house for fun outings and it was just as much a treat for us and it was for them. I especially enjoyed the conversation with the mother since we have spent significantly less time with her over the course of the semester.
The boys really liked the sea lions and the African theme jungle. They had their digital camera recording videos almost the entire time. As we walked through the African jungle we approached a house made out of bamboo sticks that was tied together with roping and had leaves placed on top for the roof. The mother said that she was reminded of her refugee camp when she saw this because that is what her house looked like. She said that she gathered the bamboo and tied her house together with rope. It is absolutely amazing how different her lifestyle has become since coming to America. We all drove home together with the sun roof open and the wind blowing in our faces. All three of them were exhausted and fell asleep in the backseat of the car along lake shore drive. It was such a fun and memorable trip!

When I visit to my family a couple of weeks ago, only the mother was there.  She seemed really sad and in need for a talk…so Sammy listened as she talked.  I caught on some words here and there and assumed that she was talking about her family and life in America.  She was listing off prices for bills–computer, light, gas, etc… She said the costs were adding up fast and still not everyone had a job. The depressing news turned happier as she mentioned that her son had a job.  From what I understood he was going to be working in a factory for 12 hour shifts 5 days a week, the night shift.  She was worried about him becuase he never slept during the day.  I rememebr him once saying that when he was studyng he would sleep for only 2 or 3 hours.  We were trying to explain sleep was importnat and she siad she tried the same but he would not sleep during the day.  I was a little worried and hoped that he would find another job during normal business hours. She said he had gone to fill out an application today at a hotel in downtown.  I remmebr that when we first started visitng  them, they were very happy and did not really think about money.  When we asked how they liked it here, they said they loved it and were super exicted. I guess they were in the honeymoon phase.  Sammy and I were the ones who suunded worried when we treied to help them find the cheapest interent sources.  They seemed okay to have to pay the outrageous $100 fees and so forth at the time.  Yet, today I saw that the honeymoon phase was slowly fading away.  Instead, the mother was complaining that there was nothing great about Aermica and her expecatations did not match the reality she is facing.   Yet, I am grateful and surprised at how strong she is.  Despite their situation, she still goes to ECAC classes to learn English and make her situation better.  I was inspired by the hard work our whole family continues to put in…I can only  hope that one day it all pays off.

The interesting part was today the person who rounds people up to go to church on Sunday came by to the home.  He was from a bible school in Indiana.  This is who one of our family members goes to church every week with in Indiana.  They get picked up at 830 and pretty much spend the whole day there doing activities after church such as go carts,etc…  Although the person was very nice, he asked some uncomfortable questions such as what happens after death and so forth.  His mission was clearly to convert others.  After he left we discussed this with the mother, and she seemed proud his son was going to church. I began to wonder if the mother thought all Americans participated  in church and was being mislead.  Either way, I was grateful to find out more about our family so that I can understand them better.  I look forward to visiting them again!

This Saturday, Sarah and I took our family and some of their neighbors to the zoo! We were supposed to meet with all of the other refugees and students there, but we were running a little late and we kinda missed our stop on our way there so we had to take another bust back. Plus, we weren’t sure where everyone else was, so it became more of our own family zoo trip, but it was still a lot of fun. P had already been to the zoo 5 times before, so he knew his way around pretty well. In fact, he was the one showing us where to go and what to see! The mom on the other hand, had never been to the zoo. It was her first time and she was super excited! “Look at those monkeys!! They are HUGE!!” she would say. We didn’t get to see as much as we all wanted because everyone had to get home soon, but we saw the lions, leopards, polar bears, gorillas, and sea lions. The weather was also very beautiful on Saturday. Overall, it was just a very nice and relaxing day, and I think they really enjoyed getting out of the neighborhood even if it was for just a little bit. This is definitely not the end. We will continue visiting them throughout the summer and beyond. Having this opportunity to work with refugees has been absolutely amazing. It is one of the best experiences I have ever had, and I am really glad I took this course. I got the chance to meet a new family and many of their neighbors, and we’ve become really great friends. We are looking forward to the summer and some warm weather so we can do more fun activities outdoors! It will be lots of fun!

It’s been a long and fun semester in the Refugee Outreach Class. I’ve learned so much about refugees and what they’re lives are like and I’ve met a lot of great people. Unfortunately, I’m going back home for the summer and I have to say goodbye to my family. We plan on going Thursday or sometime this weekend. We’ve tried to prepare our family for the idea that we won’t be coming anymore, but i’m not completely sure they understand. Hopefully we can help them understand when we go in a few days. It’s going to be hard saying goodbye, I hope we can meet with our family again in the fall to see how they are doing.

During the volunteer appreciation party, little did I know that I would meet a Nepali refugee sitting next to me.  At first, as with my first visits, we smiled and were both afraid to speak to each other not knowing what kind of communication to expect.  Yet after a while, we stated talking and  understanding each other!! It was fantastic. We would take random words and point at things and he would tell me them what they were called in Nepali and I explained the English translation.  Then while we were eating dinner, he had only lettuce and bread.  I assumed he was vegetarian and did not know vegetarian dishes from non-vegetarian.  I told him I was vegetarian too and tried to explain some foods that were vegetarian too.  By the end of the event, we had learned a lot about each other’s culture.  I asked him if he knew my other families and he said he knew our older family. This experience was a fast-paced snapshot of what my visits with my family.  From being strangers to being friends who felt comfortable talking to each other past language barriers is one of the most fascinating things that continues to drive me back to visiting my families every week. I sometimes like to think about how they view the experience.  Do  they question our visits and think about what they mean?  Do they see this is a common experience coming to America as having visitors over or do they see this is as  a unique experience?  I would like to  know how they view the visits and what their expectations and wishes are.  In the meantime, I know I miss visiting them and whenever I am having a bad day I wish that I can stop by to visit them.

So I didn’t get a chance to write about my visit last week. It was a rather quiet visit this time. Only the mom was there. Usually when there is everyone from the family, there is a lot of excitement and enthusiasm, but this time it was almost sad. She was telling us about all of the financial problems her family was experiencing. She told us how her son just recently found a job. And I was both happy and sad to hear this. Happy in the sense that they no longer need to rely on cash assistance to support their family, but sad because his job requires him to work 12 hours a day, 3 times a week—night shift, at a factory. When I asked her where he was then, she said he was actually looking for another job as well. As we were about to leave, we saw him come in all dressed up, looking like he was ready to go to an interview. He said he had just gone to fill out some forms. The fact that he dressed up simply to fill out some applications shows a lot of dedication and determination. It is amazing that he is already working full time and still looking for yet another full time job.

The mom really wants to find a job as well. She was telling us how she feels so bored all the time and how she wishes she had something to do. I wish there was something we could do to help her. With her minimal English language, it is hard to find a job, but we were thinking that we might go around Devon avenue and see if there was anything open. We’ll see how it goes. While she was telling us all of this, I started making the connection between what we learned in class and what was going on. Our family is officially at the stage where the honeymoon period is over. The excitement is waning. Depression is starting to set in. Financial assistance is gone, and frustration and boredom has taken over. I really hope this does not become a permanent situation. They are still incredibly positive which is really great. Hopefully, things will start getting better for our family!

We had another good time with the family on our last visit. Jeannine & I helped the kids with their homework as usual and again attempted to play some card games. Since we’ve been bringing the cards & teaching the kids how to play different games, I’ve been thinking about something. I’ve previously mentioned how, despite Jeannine & myself trying to explain to the kids a number of times how to play a certain card game, slapjack, they’ve seemed to either misunderstand us, or they’ve maybe just made up their own rules! But I find myself continuing to try and “correct” the game, & teach them the “right” rules of the game. And I began to wonder if this is me just being nitpicky (which could very well be the case!), or is this part of some bigger cultural norm of ours?! Who knows, and maybe Im reading into it too much, but I’m finding more and more that there are some great things we can learn from our families and other cultures. We’ve even talked about in class how many other cultures have a different concept of time and structure, etc. I think it would be amazing if we could all just, in a sense, “go with it,” worry less about deadlines, getting the “right” answer or trying to compartmentalize everything. Rather learn to be ok with changes and enjoy the process, not just the result.

I have to laugh while writing this blog for this week, for as soon as the weather became pleasant enough for Terry and I to go outside with our family, we decided to take them to the indoor ice skating rink. I first arrived at the Smith’s apartment somewhat concerned as no one, but Mr. Smith was home, and I quickly inquired where the rest of the family was, specifically Robert and George, as Terry and I mentioned ice-skating in the past and we wanted to follow through with our promise that we would go. Mr. Smith explained that Robert and Mrs. Smith were doing laundry at a nearby laundry mat, so I quickly phoned Terry who was driving to the city and we decided we would go find them. At first we could not figure out which laundry mat they were at and then after a few phone calls between us and Mr. Smith we found them and picked them up with all their laundry to go back to their apartment.

After we put all the laundry in their apartment, Mrs. Smith and Robert grabbed their jackets and we were off to go ice-skating. Thankfully, Terry brought his car so we could have plenty of time on the ice. The day was also nice, as Mrs. Smith came with us. Throughout this semester Terry and I have spent very little time with Mrs. Smith as she is normally working or with friends when we see our family, so it was great to spend some time with her. Once we got to the rink, we grabbed our skates and Terry helped Robert tie his skates to make sure they were tight so he would not hurt his ankles. Since Mrs. Smith decided to pass on skating, we designated her the official photographer.

When we first stepped onto the ice Robert was very unsure how he would refrain from falling. I could tell he looked a little nervous, but it helped that there were very few people on the ice so we could take our time on getting around the rink. In the beginning Robert had a hard time parting from the wall, as he clutched on and shuffled around the rink, but then Terry and I each grabbed his hands and we skated around. It was quite a challenge for all three of us to balance, but I had such an awesome time. Due to the limited number of people, we were even fortunate enough to have some of the ice skating instructors come over and help teach Robert how to skate. We were even explained how to stake backwards. In the end Robert only fell a few times, but when the ice skating rink closed, he eagerly asked when we were coming back.

I had so much fun. Leaving their apartment was such a great break from sitting around and talking. While, I do thoroughly enjoy conversation, the fact that we were able to get our family, or at least two family members, out of the home, allowed us to show them more of Chicago and the streets they do not necessarily see everyday. On the way home we even stopped, per Mrs. Smith’s request, at Marshalls because they cannot take public transportation and would have had to walk very far to get to the shopping center. Robert needed some new tennis shoes, and after two stores and some bargaining with his Mom a pair of shoes were bought. While, I watched Mrs. Smith and Robert look for shoes I had to laugh, as Robert would find something and pick it up and then Mrs. Smith would shake her head, for I also experienced the same situation shoe shopping with my Mom. Ah, how some things never change, despite culture.

Next week will be the last week I see our family. I am not even sure if I will see all of them, as three of the family members work and Robert is in school. However, if all works out, I am hoping my refugee family will be able to meet my family over some frozen yogurt. After two years of talking with my family about refugees, I want my family to meet the people I have spent time with each week this semester. Stayed tuned for next week’s frozen yogurt rendezvous with all my families!

Loyola Refugee Day was Friday. We spoke to the family about it on Monday to confirm that they wanted to go and that I would pick them up after school on Friday. We had originally hoped to get the whole family, but when I arrived on Friday, the kids were getting but the parents were not home. The kids and Anisha’s friend from school were getting ready while their grandmother watched them. This was the first time I was there without their parents, but the kids were excited so I was excited. It turned out one of the grandfathers was “ in town” think he lives somewhere a bit north of Roger’s Park, so the parents went out to get supplies for a special supper; leaving the grandmother to watch the kids. I tried to urge her to come, but the kids said she was tired, so I made my way to campus holding the hands of four kids. Not going to lie, I was a bit nervous, it was our first time out of the house together, and I have not really ever watched kids before. We arrived, safe and sound at Crown Center shortly after the event arrived. I only stayed for the first hour or so, while we did crafts and had some delicious snacks. Denise stayed the rest of the time and took the kids home later that evening. Overall, it was really nice to see members of the Loyola community interacting with the refugee families from our community. It seemed as though the word got out, and hopefully this will urge others to help this refugee community in Roger’s Park, and other areas too!

We took R, R2, and Mamma D to Loyola Refugee Day. R2′s sister came along as well. I’m glad we got to go on an outing with Mamma D, we weren’t sure how much she got out of the apartment. She seemed to have a really good time!!! She knew several of the people there and enjoyed the dancing and crafts. She doesn’t seem to have as much control over the boys as she would probably like, but she seemed to enjoy herself. I’m just so glad that she came with us. Her two younger kids did not come, we didn’t see O and S said he had a pick up soccer game at 5 so he didn’t want to come. I think that the family really has settled into their life and they all seem to be doing pretty well. I’m glad that we got to know them, I don’t think we did very many things to actually help them but I think that they liked having us around once in a while. Mamma D was appreciative of our homework help and I think we did help the kids with some essential study skills. Working with them made me appreciate people who are learning English. It is such a complicated language! I feel like I’ve gained a new confidence from working with the family as well. It was nerve-wracking at first but I got more comfortable each time we went and I think that I’ve learned how to handle myself in those types of situations. What a fabulous experience!