Refugee Outreach

On our last visit, Shuo and I switched things up a little and cooked for our family. We made pasta with fettuchine noodles and a tomato sauce. They seemed very hesistant about eating it at first- they would not accept the larger plates of food. After they tried it though they really liked it! It was nice to share a little piece of our culture with them. Usually I feel like they are not actually experiencing very much of American culture. They have so many family members and other Bhutanese living near them in Chicago that I think it is very easy for them to isolate themselves.

After we ate, Shuo and I went with Roshani and Angelliza to the beach. It was a sunny day and I was very happy to get out. I know in class we have talked about it being difficult to get your family out of the house but this was actually Roshani’s idea! We played with Angelliza on the playground for a while and then went for a walk on the beach. Angelliza has become more comfortable with me now, Roshani was able to leave her with us while she talked to some of her neighbors (who were also at the beach) without Angelliza getting upset. She even allowed me to carry her.

Overall it was a really great day and being in the sunshine for even a couple hours definitely did my mental state some good. Poor Angelliza could have spent the whole day at the beach, and on our walk back she cried until she fell asleep.

I am curious what the protocol would be to talk to the apartment owners about repairing their elevator. Every other time Shuo and I go to visit the elevator is broken and I think it creates a lot of inconvenience for the residents. There are a lot of families with small children living in the building who have to carry strollers and/or their children on up to 5 flights of stairs.

For some reason, I thought a lot about my family during the Easter holiday. Being that the S family came over to the United States in early January, I realized that this Easter was their first major holiday away from their family and friends in Cuba. My own parents came over to the United States in the early 90′s and they remain my only relatives in this country. Holidays are always difficult because they remind me of all the friends and family I left behind. Although I don’t visit with my family anymore, I decided to send them an Easter basket to let them know I was still thinking about them. The S family has three kids so I filled the basket with chocolate bunnies, plastic eggs full of M&Ms, and Marshmallow Peeps ( I highly doubt they eat marshmallows in Cuba but oh well). I hope my gift makes their first Easter in the United States a happy memory.

I have been trying to think about what exactly I was going to blog about next for the last few weeks. I didn’t want to re-post the same stuff, hey we went over there and we sat around and talked and it was fun and everyone loved each other. Claire and I never got the opportunity to do anything crazy with them (and we we’re planning on taking them to the Lincoln Park Zoo) as the circumstances never worked out for us (I hate you Chicago weather!!!). So instead of rambling on about the same old stuff, I began to think about the growth we made as human beings over this semester. In the beginning, our relationship was nothing more than a random list. “Claire & Kyle = The Oli Family”. Walking over to their apartment the first day, Claire and I were so nervous. Neither of us had any idea what we were going to say. or what we were going to do. Or if they were even going to understand us at all. I kept thinking that they weren’t going to like me, that I wasn’t even close to what they expected. And then we got over there, and it was just so… awkward. It’s not that we weren’t trying to communicate, we tried as hard as we could; They just weren’t being responsive. It seemed like they were understanding what we were asking them, but they would only give one word answers (yes, no, I don’t know), and they would leave it at that. We were Aliens; two completely different things living in the same room trying to communicate with each other. And we could not figure how to make that bridge over to them. That is until Claire pulled out a picture of her family and showed it to the Oli’s, whom were ecstatic to see the picture. We had finally done something right! This ended up leading to the Oli’s bringing out about 200 or so photos of their family, friends, and life before coming to America. And it was so great, because it flipped on us so quickly… instead of not being able to get them to talk, we couldn’t even get them to stop talking when we had to go! What we thought was a complete lack of communication was actually just the family being even more nervous and shy than we were! Now fast-forward to today, where I feel like a family member to them. I am the eldest brother in my family, and having the Oli family consists of two sons made it perfect for me to just fill in as that older brother role. I got to see a side of them that I would have never even dreamed of experiencing. It wasn’t just, ok lets go through the alphabet and such; but rather us flipping through the Guinness book of world records book for two hours as they point out images and I explain what it is in English. And then they return the favor and explain it to me in their language. The fact that we went from complete strangers, to a point where if I saw them on the street I would go up and hug them, just blows my mind. And the craziest of all is that our visits were only 1 day a week. A little bit goes a far way. Just imagine if it was more!

I would like to apologize for how drastically late this blog post is. The good news is that I have quite a bit to talk about!

This is a blog in dedication to my ANTH:301 class, otherwise known as refugee resettlement. This is part of my civic engagement requirement, and our outside assignment from class is to visit our assigned refugee family once a week.

To make things easier, I’m going to assign names for our family that aren’t real… Since they are Bhutanese I just picked a different Bhutanese surname instead. We’ve asked to keep our family’s name withheld, so here are some replacements!

Ms. Lohani: Mother

Mr. Lohani: Father

Oldest Son: Tashi (in his early 20s)

Oldest Daughter: Mindy (early 20s, with a baby girl!)

Youngest Son: Mahi, his nickname is Naruto (I think he said he was in the 4^th grade)

Youngest Daughter: Meala (high-schooler)

I’ll probably be introducing some people later on as i’ll be meeting people through my time spent there.

We had already started later than everyone else on our family visits, so both Dimitri (my refugee partner) and I had a little downtime to get to know each other, and think of what to do for our first visit. We didn’t get to meet our family until week 5 of the class, so we only don’t have as many visits clocked in as everyone else. The reason for this was because we were originally assigned with a family from Iraq. For reasons unkown they decided not to move forward with the program, so we were assigned with the Lohanis instead.

Visit #1: February 19^th, 2011

Me and Dimitri were pretty nervous when we had first met up. We took a pre-stop at Dominicks to get a small present. We picked a few different kinds of apples, some oranges, and a really cool bottle of strawberry Italian soda. As we rang the bell, we were welcomed by Tashi and he led us inside. Tied with his brother, Tashi has the best English in the household. He was able to speak pretty well and we only had a few problems understanding each other. He was happy to see our gift, so we were able to break the ice on that one, haha. We were then welcomed by Ms. Lohani, Mr. Lohani, Mahi, and Meala. We didn’t meet Mindy until our second visit.

The reason Dimitri and I were both nervous of our first visit was because we weren’t sure if we would be able to effectively communicate with the family. I was also worried about making interesting conversation and making them feel comfortable with us. It didn’t take too long for us to be friendly with each other. The entire family was very open and accepting of us!

Tashi explains that they have been living in Rogers Park for 3 years already, but had recently discovered the program and wanted an American friend. They’re a bit more adjusted to the American culture and lifestyle than most of the other families in our class, so it was a bit easier to understand each other. Before coming to Rogers Park, The Lohani family lived in a Bhutanese refugee camp for 18 years. They still have family there, including a cousin that they are trying to get into the states.

A lot of the time that we had spent on the first day was just to get to know each other. Mahi and I instantly found common ground through comic books! He’s really into Japanese animation and comics, which is a big passion of mine. We started watching a few anime videos on Youtube and talked about different characters as well as Pokemon, WWE, and other things that totally took me down memory lane.

Towards the end of the visit, Ms. Lohani served everyone the fruit that we brought over, as well a noodle dish. Tashi had to leave at this point because he had work in Skokie. All in all, it felt like a good first visit!

Visit #2: Februrary 26th

I brought the first three books of the comic series ‘Naruto’ for Mahi. I thought it would be a good idea to bring him books in English for him to read. He seemed really interested in the comics we talked about before, so I was excited to see him so happy when he saw what I brought. He was very polite and thankful too!

Ms. Lohani made some AMAZING dumplings for us, called momos! They definitely reminded me a lot of gyoza, which are Japanese dumplings. The Bhutanese version comes with a spicy sauce instead of soy sauce. I usually don’t like spicy food but I sucked it up and ate it anyway, which turned out to be for the best because they were delicious!

We were going to watch Kung Fu Panda today with Mahi but Dimitri forgot the DVD, so we instead discussed some future plans for the coming weeks ahead. I can’t WAIT for it to get warmer so I can take the family to the beach. Considering how cold it is outside, we’ve just been hanging out at home with them. I want to plan some sort of picnic when the weather gets better.

We did some tutoring for Ms. Lohani today, and taught her some basic vocabulary. She seemed a little frustrated during teaching, but I can completely understand how she feels, so I did my best to explain different vocabulary concepts (and using Mahi as a translator from time to time!). It’s crazy when you realize how hard it is to explain your own language.. People want to know why certain verbs conjugate in certain ways, but how can you explain something you’ve known all your life? Regardless though, I think she understood a good chunk of the stuff we had talked about that day.

Until next time~!

Visit #3: March 19^th

Spring break was upon us, so we skipped a week and met up with our family the week after. I brought a new comic for Mahi, called One Piece, and we exchanged the books he had already read. Naruto is a comic based on ninjas, so I thought it would be great if I bring him some pirate comic books like One Piece. Ninjas vs. Pirates GO!! Hahaha. Mahi had heard of One Piece before but never watched the show or read any of the comics, so I hope he enjoys them!

We had the pleasure of meeting Mindy and her daughter for the first time! The little one is so adorable, but every time I try to get her attention and wave to her she INSTANTLY starts crying. I thought it was hilarious and started giggling. So shy, but oh so cute! They joined us for a little while in watching Kung Fu Panda together! I don’t know what it is with me and asian-themed movies but I especially love Kung Fu Panda. Such amazing animation!

Tutoring was a little difficult with Ms. Lohani. She provided us with some packets that she has to complete for the English classes that she attends during the week, but at her rate of communication it seems that the packets were at a higher level than she’s currently at. I used the packets as a guide and tried to teach her as much of it as I could, but it’s hard to explain the more complicated grammar concepts to her when she’s still trying to acquire enough vocabulary. It’s starting to make me think if I should get some sort of supplemental help through other books. I’m not sure where to purchase ESL books but I’ll have to do some research on Amazon tonight and see what I can find. We DID accomplish a bit though! Taught her some of the different genres of music that Americans have and supplemented it using my iPod!

This got us into a discussion about what kind of music they used to listen to in Nepal. Their mainstream music has more traditional instruments tied to it, but it remind me of mainstream Greek music as well. Mahi showed me a few of his mom’s favorite songs online, and it was nice to hear about what Ms. Lohani enjoys!

We also talked a bit about their past life in Nepal. Mahi explained that the family home was partly converted into a restaurant! They would cook hot meals for the people who would come to their restaurant area in their home. I asked Mahi what games they played when they were younger, and he explained to me of a circular wooden board game that originated from India but is really popular in Nepal. I wish I remembered the name of the game, and it made me wonder how much they could cost. It would be nice if I could google-fu my way into finding a gently used one online somewhere. I’ll have to dig around and see what I can find online. Mahi tried to teach us the game with such enthusiasm, it would be nice to try and find it so he could teach Dimitri and I!

All in all, it was a productive and informative visit. I feel like the family is getting more and more comfortable every time we come by!

Visit #5: Saturday, April 9^th

Why no Visit 4, you ask? I had a very serious family emergency to tend to on our fourth visit, so I had to call and let Dimitri know that I wasn’t going to make it. My apologies, but everything is okay for the most part.

Ms. Lohani spoke to us a few days before because she wanted us to come hungry for a huge Bhutanese meal! We definitely came hungry, but we were surprised when we only saw Meala home! It turned out that momma was running late with all of the preparation for the food, so we just hung out until they came back. She prepared such a wonderful meal for us! I felt bad that I wasn’t able to finish everything though.. I swear I eat like a bird. It made me feel really bad but I hope she didn’t think that I didn’t like the food..

Brought Naruto numbers 4, 5 and 6 for Mahi since he requested them from me. He’s really getting into these comics, but those are the last of the Naruto books I have. I wonder what I can bring next time.. I wonder if he likes any Marvel or DC comics? It would be cool to introduce him to more Americanized comics since those are what I grew up on when I was younger. Nothing beats the classics of Batman and Superman, I’ll say!

It’s getting close to the end of the semester.. We only have maybe one or two more visits left.

Today was our last day going to visit our family.  The boys seemed really surprised to see us actually so i am wondering if they got confused about what day was supposed to be our last and thought it was last tuesday.  Regardless we set up shop and got to work on their homework.  Looking through their folders you realize that they don’t really do their homework when we arn’t around, which really makes me worry for their future.  Without us coming every Tuesday to help out with their studies are they going to continue to do it or just forget about homework since their parents don’t really understand.  I hope they continue on with their homework because we know that they are having some difficulties but hopefully we taught them well.

This week Colleen brought them some pencils and a drawing pad and the boys loved them.  The oldest is really a great artist, even though he is very modest about it.

After we finished helping them with their homework we decided to play a new game this week and taught them how to play charades.  It actually seemed very educational because they learned a bunch of new words as well as what they meant beucase they had to figure out how to act them out.  They seemed to really enjoy this game and the mother even watched us from the living room.  After we had our last cup ever of the best coffee I’ve ever had it was time for us to say goodbye.

I’ve learned a lot from working with this family and I hope that they can take away the same things that I have.

last week was the second to last day and we had a hard time trying to explain that to the family.  It seems like they understood after a while though becuase they have been through this program before with other students.  It is going to be weird not going there every Tuesday anymore and I wonder if they will remember me.

This week we played more of the same games and Colleen brought her cousin with her to help out and meet the boys, which was fun a lot of help.  I was helping the younger boy with his math problems and he just seems to keep getting more confused but hopefully he will catch on, eventually he will realize he has to just memorize the smaller equations.

After this we played bankopoly, which is definitely their favorite game, but this time we didn’t just let them get all of the good ones again.  We played for a long time but this time the older boy got bored and decided to quit halfway through so we decided that was probably a good time for us to leave.  Before this the mom gave us some tostitos and guacamole, which seems very strange since we are really used to that kind of food being given to us at their homes.  It makes me wonder if they really eat this kind of food or if they get it for us?

Today was our last home visit with our family. They didn’t seem to be too put out by that news-but they were pretty well-adjusted to begin with. Today we worked on homework with Momma D and R. R is so squirrelly, it really tried my patience today. Sometimes it’s hard to not go into babysitter mode. I noticed an interesting dynamic today: While in a bedroom with Momma D and R, R would act up, not do his work and just be silly while Momma D (his grandmother) was trying to do her work as well. She would say something to him but almost instantly call S, her 15 year old son to get R to behave. I thought that hierarchy was interesting. The 15 year old uncle had more disciplinary sway than the grandmother did. Could that be just the oldest-male-rules type of structure?
I also had my first in-person experience with bed bugs today. yikes. I think the warmer weather or humidity brought them out. We went the whole semester without actually seeing any, or bites on our family. I spotted one walking along a picture frame next to me (which I squashed), then when we were doing homework on the floor, I spotted a little semi-translucent baby one (which I also squashed). It was a little unnerving but the family had never mentioned that they had a problem and they (mostly S) make a large effort to keep the apartment clean. Hopefully it doesn’t become a problem for them. And hopefully I didn’t bring home any hitch hikers!

This week we walked into the apartment to find no one in sight. When we yelled the boy’s names, two little heads popped out from the bedrooms with welcoming smiles on their faces. One commented that he thought we weren’t coming this week, so to their surprise, we were there to hang out for a couple of hours! I worked with the older boy on a quick mathematics worksheet on adding fractions together while Macrina work with the younger boy on his typical weekly homework routine compiled of spelling words, reading worksheets and math boxes. While they were finishing their homework, the younger boy and I had a drawing competition on the new sketchpad that we brought him. Of course, his artistic abilities blew mine out of the water, and he thought my drawing skills were absolutely hilarious, as did it. We then played WWF wrestling video game on the play station. Not to my surprise, I was terrible at the video game and within minutes I had lost miserably.
When they other two finished their homework, we started up a game of charades. We started by each writing different animals on scratch paper and placing them in a hat. Since this was a new game, we decided that using sounds was allowed. It was hilarious to see their different ways of acting out elephants, gorillas, and lions. We then changed the theme to different professions or careers. I had asked the boys earlier in the night what they wanted to be when they grew up, both quickly responded with “I don’t know” answers but in the charades learned that they didn’t know the names of a lot of professions. For example, they didn’t know the proper terminology for a person who build the roads, flies the planes, or plays a sport. I think it was fun for them to see all the different things they could be when they grow up and also to learn that each career has its own name.
When the mom came home, she made us a new noodle dish with asparagus, cauliflower, tomatoes and some sort of meat. As a meat skeptic already, I avoided the mystery meat but the rest of the dish had a good flavor. It was unlike anything that I had eaten before. She served us the delicious coffee and I made sure to enjoy every last sip since it was going to be our last for a long time. When we were finished eating and playing charades, we unfortunately had a say our goodbyes. We took a quick picture of the family for our memories and all hugged goodbye. It was really sad saying bye and knowing that I won’t be coming by next week. It has truly been something that I enjoyed doing every Tuesday night. I hope that sometime, in the near future, Macrina and I will be able to go visit our good friends once again.

Last week was the spring break vacation for both of the boys. As a child, it was always a vacation that I looked forward too as my family was fortunate enough to travel to Florida or some other luxurious location with beautiful sunny weather and a beach. Although I think the boys were excited about their time away from school, I couldn’t help but notice that they seemed more bored than anything. They regular weekly work schedule continued for their parents and they spent most of their time just hanging out with each other. My cousin has expressed enthusiasm about meeting the family and was excited once we all arrived to see their smiling faces. At first, they were shy but it didn’t take them long to warm up to her kindhearted and fun personality. We began with the usual weekly routine by knocking out all of the homework. Since it was spring break, the boys were both assigned an overwhelming amount of work to be completed over the week. I spent the majority of our time working on confusing mathematical problems and re-learning how to do longhand multiplication of decimal place numbers. Together, we completed about half the assigned math problems and he promised that he would finish the rest on his own time. I think he gained a fairly decent understanding of how the problems were to be solved and although the answers may not be right every time because of a minor miscalculation, he is able to understand how to cross-multiply the numbers and make sense of what the final results are supposed to resemble.
We finished the night with an exciting game of bankopoly, per usual. Each week, we have been encouraging the boys to count their own money when buying a piece of property, re-counting money that people may owe to them, etc. Also, this week, we made them explain all of the rules, play-by-play to my cousin. Even though she already knew them, it was great to see their minds explain the details of the game in simplistic detail to a new player.
The Grandma was here this week babysitting when we arrived; she told us that she would be getting her third, and final surgery, on her gull bladder. She was fairly confident that there would be no further problems after that. Hopefully the surgery goes well and her health restores to normal!
We had to tell them that next week would be our last week, it was really sad to think that we only have one more visit with them. I wish the semester could just keep going so we wouldn’t have to say good-bye. Unfortunately, with the end of a semester and graduation, my schedule will be drastically changing.

During our last visit to the G family, Brian and I were very disappointed to hear that J’s medicine wasn’t alleviating her stomach pain and that she had an upcoming sonogram appointment that would hopefully get to the root of the problem. I tried pantomiming what a sonogram was but for something that complicated, the language barrier was definitely an issue. Thankfully, J’s brother who speaks English really well was able to translate and also assured us that he would be able to accompany and translate for J at her appointment. J’s brother always seems to quickly remedy the large amounts of confusion that usually come up during our visits to the G family which always leads me to wonder how frustrating it must be for newly arrived refugee families to deal with the language barrier all day, especially without a family member to translate!

The G family in some respects was very lucky to have been placed a block away from many members of their extended family but I’m still painfully aware of how much they had to leave behind in Nepal. C recently showed me a journal during our last visit that was full of farewell notes from all of the friends she made during her fourteen years in the refugee camp. Some of them I was able to read since they were written in broken English and conveyed a lot of sadness and also hope that C would enjoy her life in the USA. This journal initially reminded me of all my high school yearbooks but I quickly realized that this was way beyond that because unlike my friends spreading themselves across the country, C’s friends were being spread across the entire world and she probably would never get the opportunity to see most of them again. Even though C keeps in contact with many of them through facebook, no form of electronic communication ever compares to physically being present with your friends and family.

I have not had the opportunity to post about my last two visits to the D family. Two visits ago it was a semi-nice day outside so S, R, S’s friend, Hannah and I walked down to the park to play soccer. It  was nice to get out of the apartment again but I wish that we could get some adults to venture out with us. The park was a lot of fun though. S and his friend went off and practiced together while Hannah and I played with R. It was nice to just play around with R and then go to the playground and Hannah and I sat on the swings as he played on the playground. The park was an interesting experience because it helped show some of the conflicts with our role in the family. While we were at the park, we had to try and keep track of R which often led to us having to keep him out of mischief. It led me to wondering what our role is supposed to be, I was unsure of the limitations when it comes to telling him “no.” I did not want to overstep my boundaries.

The next visit to the family was right before Easter break and Hannah and I decided to dye eggs with the family. The only members that were home were Mrs. D, R and O so after a hard time figuring out how long to cook the eggs and explaining what we were doing to the family. Overall, it was a really fun activity to do with the family. When the others came home, some were amazed at the colors of the eggs and no one at first believed that they were edible. Overall, it was a really fun day and I was glad that we were able to involve Mrs. D in the festivities.

The last time we had visited our family, they told us to visit them on the following monday instead of the weekend for the son’s birthday. They seemed really eager for us to come and spend the day with them on his birthday. I had assumed that it would be just Kelly and I with his family for a small gathering. However, it was not at all what I expected. It was a huge celebration (I should have guessed by now that it would be). He and his siblings even got to take the entire day off of school. All of the women were dressed up and there was a ton of food. So many people were coming in and out of the apartment to say happy birthday, each bringing small gifts. We sat at the table and were able to talk to a lot of different Nepali people that we hadn’t met before. It was a lot of fun. Later, we all sang happy birthday to him with the cake that we had brought him (even though they already had another cake). His sister and his mom then continued to put frosting on his face as he was handing out pieces of cake. It was funny. After all of the food, cake and talking we took them outside to play soccer with the soccer ball that we had gotten him for his birthday. The game was cut short when his mom called to say that more people had arrived to the apartment to say happy birthday. But we were getting tired anyways. We walked them back up to the apartment and said our goodbyes and thanked them for all of the delicious food that they fed us. It was one of the best birthday parties that I’ve been too.

Last week, my family had to go to a birthday party so we weren’t able to visit them. This week, we decided to cook for our family since they have been cooking for us since we have started visiting. I brought materials to make pasta. We almost didn’t have enough due to the fact that they had a guest. As I was cooking, they thought I was cooking a Chinese dish (I’m Chinese by the way) but I said “no, it’s an Italian dish.” I should have asked them if they had Italian dishes before. Perhaps next time I can bring a Chinese dish for them to try. My partner Avery brought brownies that she baked for them. It was made from Ghirardelli chocolate, yummmm. I love chocolate.

After we ate, we decided to go to the beach. Apparently they lived very close to the beach. Next to the beach was also a park. When we got there, some of Roshani’s friends and family were already there playing, even her mother was swinging on a swing! After spending some time in the park, we walked along the beach. There were so many objects along the shoreline. We found crawfish remains, varies types of rocks (some of which we kept), glass, etc. Luckily Chicago holds the annual beach clean up before the beach season begins. I can’t wait until the weather is appropriate for going to the beach!!

Today, we took our family to the Howard stop on the redline to browse in some of the stores there. The main reason I wanted to go there was because I wanted to help them apply for a Dominick’s card so that they can shop there without missing out on the sales. We taught them how to use the self check out just in case they wanted to use it. However, I don’t’ think they mastered it yet after one use but I believe that they will one day.
After Dominick’s, we went over to Marshall’s. It was fun browsing through everything. The hard part was explaining what some of the utensils were for, such as the corn holders. Rosh looked at me funny when I showed her an apple slicer. She thought it was odd that we would have a utensil for such a simple task or would even buy one with such a limited use. Personally, I feel the same way. While using the utensil is fast and easy, cutting an apple is still a simple task that shouldn’t require its own utensil.

I think I jinxed it. Before last week everything was going swimmingly and now nothing is. Well, okay, it’s not that bad, it has just been a nightmare trying to plan anything between all four of us in classes and working. Not to mention birthdays, holidays, and the end of the semester. Last Thursday Nick and I showed up around dinner time to take them out, by request, for real American meal- ze hamburger. However, something came up and they weren’t able to be home or have their cell phone to get ahold of. I was really disappointed that this was the second week in a row this had happened, and now I’m convinced I jinxed our success in actually getting together, which was like (10 for 10 before last week) I suppose trying to deviate from our normal Sunday time is where we went wrong. But schedules change, things come up, and people have to be accommodating. So instead of getting upset, I took Nick to Red Line Tap and bought him his first legal beer there. Happy 21st, partner!

On Friday, Terry and I visited our family. We had not seen them in some time due to scheduling conflicts and miscommunication and I was happy that we could finally meet them and talk. Before our visit Terry picked up some Dunkin Donuts and we agreed that the sweets would pair perfectly with the Ethiopian coffee they always serve us.

When we arrived Mr. Smith and Robert were there. The two were relaxing, as Mr. Smith does not work on Friday nights and Robert was on spring break. We talked about the weather, Mr. Smith’s job, George’s new job, Mrs. Smith’s new job, and everything in between. We learned George found a job through a family friend of theirs and was happy to be working. We also learned that Mrs. Smith no longer worked at the restaurant, but was now working in childcare, a field she had expressed she wanted to work in during past conversations. It is amazing how much can change in such a short amount of time. When we first met our family everyone was looking for a job and now everyone, but Robert who is in school, has a job. We also discussed how the dark, cold winters are a thing of the past and that spring is in full bloom in Chicago.

As much as I have complained in these blogs about the weather and that I am thoroughly ready to say “ciao,” to Chicago winters, springtime means many changes and good-byes. At one point during our conversation Mr. Smith asked if I had graduated, and I laughed, replying, “No, only a few more weeks”. I am excited, but the completion of the spring semester and graduation means a closure to many good things including regular visits with my family. I am not from Chicago, nor do I spend my summers nearby, otherwise I would continue to visit the Smith family. Outings in the summer, with the weather nice and Robert out of school, would be ideal for showing them more of the city.

As the coffee was poured and donuts eaten, with slight hesitation by Mr. Smith and Robert I might add, we continued to talk and watch T.V. When I reflect on this past semester, I am going to miss the couple hours a week I spend with them, for there is no pressure and time constraints, but the simplicity of being together and talking. Although, community service is not about the person giving, but about those being served, I am leaving with an experience I have completely enjoyed partaking in during my undergraduate studies. My hope is that opportunities at Loyola continue to present themselves to students interested in working with refugee populations, as the service is both humbling and fulfilling. Stayed tuned for next week’s blog on indoor ice-skating and how many times I will have fallen.

On our way to the train station Kahlee and I were talking about what we were going to do with the D family that day. All of a sudden we got the idea to DYE EASTER EGGS! it was a magical moment for sure. We ran to CVS and bought eggs, a Paas kit, and some extra goodies and headed to their home. The kids were pretty quiet that day. Mamma D was resting and O and R were only half interested in the prep work. R was all about dying them when we got started tho! O and her niece (maybe?) were watching a movie and talking to people on facebook. R was very exceted to get going and loved putting the tablets into the vinegar. Vinegar is something they had never experienced before-they asked if it was water several times until I had them smell it. I told them that they could use it to clean things in a water solution.
Once the eggs were boiled (something that is more complicated than it would seem) we got a’dyin’. The kits come with lots of stickers and fun things to put on the eggs as well and R had a blast. We brought gummy bears and gummy worms as a craft treat. This was also something that they had never experienced. They were all kind of wary at first since they are a strange texture. Everyone tried them and ultimately liked the worms best. Once the eggs were dyed we showed them how to crack and open them. Mamma D wasn’t sure that they were cooked and I saw a wave of panic go across her face when I smashed it on the table. She was relieved to see that it did not go everywhere but stayed in its neat little egg form. We cut the eggs in half and salted them for the family to try since they had not had eggs prepared that way before. R LOVED them-I think he ate about 3. Mamma D was not totally convinced however, and after her first bite she shoved the rest into her mouth out of politeness. We helped clean up and by then other people were beginning to come in and out and they were about to start dinner.
It was so fun to be able to share a part of our (albeit consumerist) culture with the family. We tried our best to emphasize that the eggs needed to stay in the refrigerator, so hopefully they put them away-but I’m not convinced they liked them enough to keep them. Over all it was a great visit.

The family is doing well. They are making incremental achievements in their greater amelioration into the society we call America. The father recently sent in his application to become a licensed taxi driver and is expecting a response by next month. The eldest son recently became employed at a convenient store downtown. The mother found a new means of employment as a babysitter. She expressed a desire to work with children early on, however, she became employed as a cook in a hot kitchen standing on her feet for an entire shift with little breaks, which she detested. We spoke to her briefly on the phone when Gadina handed us his mobile. Her limited English limited the conversation, however, the reassurance in her voice confirmed all was well. The younger son was on spring break and well conversant in the television programming.

Gadina and Arkiband along with Emily and I shared a meal together followed by coffee and doughnuts. The conversation held many facets from local to worldly affairs. America’s Funniest Home Video’s aired on the television and was amusuing. Laughter seems to transcend cultural contexts.

This last Sunday, I went to visit my family and it was another exciting day. Last minute, Sammy and I decided we would create a calendar with them so we grabbed supplies and ran out the door. When we got there…as usual it was warm and cozy in their apartment. After our greetings we began to lay out all our supplies on the floor—sequins, fancy paper, ruler, scissors, etc.… The little girl was so excited. Everyone was really excited. Sammy decided to draw out the boxes on a sheet of paper—once she was done we found out that there were only 6 days in her week! After laughing for a while I thought we should create a giant calendar instead…so we cut out 40 squares and then gave them to our family. Each person took turn writing a number on it when we told them a number. It was so cute that the little boy—who I think is somewhere between 5 and 7 kept showing the mother how to write each number by writing it on scarp paper prior to giving her the marker. She thought he was mocking her and would playfully hit the boy. But the boy was a very good teacher…he did not laugh when teaching he was so into it. Our calendar making did not go so well…as we did forgot the tape and glue so we told them we would bring everything back the next time.
Then came, Sarah! She had a huge bag of nail polish with her. I felt kind of bad for the older son because this activity was not very user friendly. But it was great because everyone got their nails painted and designed by Sarah. The little girl loved the nail polish so much that she would keep erasing and redoing the nail polish. It was a lot of fun…. interesting thing was that they only wanted to paint one hand because they ate with the other. Sarah was so fascinated by this. I guess I would have been too if my grandmother did not do the same thing. I guess it is a cultural thing—personal preference.
Then I saw the little boy painting his own nails…since no one asked him, he decided to do it himself! I pulled out my phone to take a picture of him. Little did I know 1 picture would lead to another hour of pictures. The two little kids would not stop posing! It was so much fun!! The girl would want to copy her little brother but not do the same thing when he asked her. It was like she wanted to be the boss. He would pick up a newspaper cover his face and then she would do the same. The kept wanting me to take more pictures. I was sad to leave…but I hope I can visit them before Easter Break! I know that I will miss them.

Unfortunately, Denise and I had to cancel our usual Monday night visit. Which on the few occasions has been completely fine, and Krishna is really receptive. However, this Monday was a bit different. Denise called and spoke with Krishna to let him know that we would be unable to come later that evening, which he said was completely fine the kids didn’t have school or homework; so rescheduling wasn’t an issue. Thinking everything was fine I went about my day as usual, until I looked at my phone around 8:30 and saw I had 7-10 missed calls. I was horrified and of course called back immediately, but Krishna must have gone to work, so I did not get a response. I listened to the voicemails, and it was all three of their kids asking where we were, and merely chatting about their days. I soon realized it wasn’t a big issue, and the kids probably just wanted to see what we were doing. I spoke with them the next day, and everything was fine. Crisis averted, just another lesson- always best to call a couple times and confirm. But also, not to freak out, miscommunications happen and are very easy to smooth over.