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Meagan and I had our third visit a couple weeks ago and our fourth visit just yesterday. At this point I feel as if we’ve visited with them so many times that counting doesn’t really make sense. We have slipped into a routine. Our family seems to be adjusting to our visits more and more. Each time we go we are told “Oh, we haven’t seen you in a long time” or “It has been SO long since you have come over” when really, only a couple of days have passed. That really touches me because for them to miss us or complain that they haven’t seen us, makes me feel as if us being there truly does make a difference to them. We never really make plans about when we’re going to visit and I actually just realized what that implies today while we were in class. I realized that the reason we never really plan ahead is because they don’t really leave the house. The only people that seem to ever be absent are the adult brothers that are the only ones that have jobs. The rest of the family (as we have been told several times) is always available. Meagan and I are planning a trip to the zoo this Saturday because we felt we needed to do something fun outside the home with them. Now I’m realizing how great of an idea that is because they really need to get out of their comfort zone. The kids really seemed to be into the idea of going to the zoo, not so much anyone else.
Back to the routine. We go in, sit down on one of the beds in the family room as we always do and wait for the kids to bring out their homework. As usual, there were many different people in the apartment, neighbors and extended family. Their visitors generally never talk to us. They seem very shy (our family tells us so) and timid to come up to us. We always say hi but that’s about as far as it goes. Our kids were shy at first too but they seem to be more comfortable with us each and every visit. So the kids bring out their homework and Meagan and I do all we can to help them without doing everything for them. It can be hard to help without basically giving them the answers. But they seem very eager to learn so it makes it easier on us. Sometimes I wonder what they did before Meagan and I were there to help them. I know we’ve all had our times in the past of “sharing” answers with all our friends but there’s a point where taking/giving all your work to someone else becomes disadvantageous to yourself. I want the kids to be able to do their homework on their own. It’s obvious they try really hard and I just want to walk away from this (well not walk away but move closer to success) with them being able to do their school work on their own without being frustrated and giving up. So for now, that is my main goal; helping them gain confidence in doing their work.
Overall, our visit was great. I’m stressed all week dealing with homework, tests, applications, the list goes on and on, but every time I leave their apartment I find myself feeling happier, less stressed and just excited for our next visit. They give me the feeling that I’m affecting their lives for the better. What I need to express to them (I don’t know how I would even begin to do so) is how much they are affecting MY life.